Recovering the Self
by tess4aria
Summary: That fateful night, he lost more than just his body. Living with the one you love, but separated by more than secrets... With no memory of Kudou Shinichi, can Conan ever take back his old life? KaiShin,KaiCo. R&R, please!
1. Chapter 1

_**Recovering the Self**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 1: The Things We Find<strong>_

So, to everyone waiting for updates for my other stories...I am SORRY! I just...I only work well when I'm inspired, and so I have been starting a lot of different stories recently.

I WILL get to the others, but this is my newest (hopefully inspired) work. Somewhat overused premise, but with a twist.

Hope you like it!

Parings: Initial Kaito X Shinichi, eventual Kaito X Conan/Kaito X Shinichi

_**Please review! Thanks so much!**_

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

"_Kuroba_!"

"Eep! Save me, Shin-chan!"

Stepping swiftly aside to give Nakamichi an open shot, Shinichi smirked at Kaito's full pout as he walked back to join him, rubbing a slightly sore shoulder, a few minutes later.

"It's only fair, you know. After all, it's not like you ever give your victims fair warning."

"But they are forewarned that I will not warn, and thus, they ARE warned, so see? I don't believe in cheap shots!"

"Uh-huh, sure, Kaito. That was a sneaky bulls-eye, though, planting it in his gym bag…I presume you noticed how he likes to use hair-spray after gym class?"

"Yep! I noticed that habit a long time ago, Shin-chan!"

"That wasn't a compliment, you know."

"Oh, but the new color fits him so well! Weren't you saying he needed to be taken down a few pegs, anyway?"

Mumbling to himself, but not quite fighting back a smile, he just sighed and said: "I know there's not much I can do to stop you, you stupid magician…"

"Well maybe there's something…" he winked at Shinichi suggestively, earning him a lovely blush, along with some incoherent growls, in return.

"Haha, I do love that shade…but you're basically right! Even Ran-chan's fearsome martial arts skills are only a consideration for when and where to strike, not a deciding factor."

Shinichi's head suddenly shot up. "Oh, crap! Ran! I forgot I'd promised to walk home with her after school today!

"That's nothing special, we often walk with Ran-chan."

"Yeah, but yesterday was her Karate championship, and I told her I'd take her to tropical land if she won."

"Oh? Well, I believe I glimpsed the lovely lady a few minutes ago. We mustn't keep her waiting, then, huh?" The messy-haired teen grabbed Shinichi's hand, grinning at the blush that broke out, once again, on his face, before pulling him around to race to the front gates.

People tended to give Kaito a wide berth, no doubt afraid of any spare prank liable to occur to him at any passing second, so Shinichi had to admit they made quite quick progress running together like this.

"Sorry, Ran-chan! I'm afraid I detained him," stopping before a slightly irate-looking Mouri Ran, Kaito twirled and presented her with a yellow rose.

A smile tugging at her lips, Ran just shook her head. "Oh, that's okay, Kaito-kun, better late than never. I bet Shinichi would have completely forgotten if he'd been alone. You do remember, right, Shinichi?" She turned quickly to face her childhood friend, smiling dangerously.

"Oh, uh, yeah, of course, Ran," Shinichi nervously rubbed the back of his head, not quite making eye-contact. "Tropical land, right?"

"Oh, speaking of, Ran-chan, you were awesome at the Karate finals! Shin-chan here was just reminding me that I'd do best not to cross you," as he finished, he slid ever-so-slightly away from her, but he kept grinning the whole time.

"Aw, thanks," Ran responded, giggling slightly. "Do you want to join us, Kaito-kun? This is something Shinichi promised me years ago-that he'd take me to Tropical Land if I ever won the Karate Championship-back before I knew you that well, but you're more than welcome to come along. You might distract the Detective-otaku from Holmes for a change!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Ran-chan," and Kaito genuinely looked like he meant it. "I have something I need to do this evening, but I'll join up later tonight, okay? How about if I catch up with you guys for the park fireworks?"

Kaito turned to see Shinichi, who had been watching him, quickly avert his gaze, a slight pink tinge on his cheeks.

"Are you going to miss me, Shin-chan?"

"Barou. As if I would."

Leaning in, Kaito planted a quick kiss on the detective's lips, pulling away before he could make any coherent objection.

Ran and Shinichi both blushing like tomatoes at the openly affectionate display, Kaito grinned and quickly hugged his boyfriend of several months.

"Kaito! We're in public!" Shinichi hissed, but let the magician continue to hug him, his traitorous blush becoming increasingly obvious. "What's wrong with you? I'll see you in a few hours!"

Stopping the massage-like motions he had started administering to Shinichi's back, Kaito said, partly to himself, "Yeah, I know, but for some reason…I have this odd feeling that it's going to be longer…"

Sighing, Shinichi pried Kaito's arms from his shoulders and shook his head, smiling.

"Don't be ridiculous. I'll see you soon, okay?"

Making sure they were safe from prying eyes, Shinichi quickly leaned in and pecked Kaito lightly on the lips before turning quickly, grabbing Ran by the arm, and making straight for the road.

Kaito grinned after them as they left, but he couldn't help this creeping suspicion, this nagging anxiety. Shaking his head to rid it of these inexplicable worries, a mischievous grin crept onto his face as he remembered his 'plans' for the evening.

Shin-chan had stopped him quite effectively that night at the clock-tower, so he really had to raise the bar. He couldn't let his favorite crime-solving mind get rusty, now could he? What was that next gem again? The black star?

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

_Crap! I'm going to be late! _

The fireworks had already begun, and he was only now passing Shinichi's house. Man, was Shinichi going to kill him for keeping them waiting…And why did it just _have_ to start raining? At this rate, they'd probably have to stop with the fireworks before he made it, anyway.

Speeding around the corner, Kaito's foot met something soft and lumpy, and he suddenly found himself on his side in a rain puddle.

"Oww," rubbing his head, he looked to see what he'd tripped over.

_A pile of clothes? No wait, is it shaking? _Forgetting about his own aching head, he slowly approached and crouched down in front of what he realized, with a start, was a little boy with dark hair. He was hunched over, looking down at his knees, and his face was partly obscured by the lop-sided hood of his jacket, but Kaito could see fear and confusion written all over what he could see of the boy's face. And he was crying.

"Hey kid, are you okay? I'm sorry if I hurt you," Kaito said softly, leaning in and lightly gripping the boy's shoulders. He looked no more than 6 or 7, and he was very cold and wet. His outfit was far too big for him, too. What had happened to him?

"Can you hear me? Does it hurt?" The boy slowly raised his eyes to meet Kaito's, and the magician felt an odd thumping in his chest. Those eyes, so sad…were so…familiar. Just like-but this wasn't the time. The boy had begun shivering in the cold, and tears were starting to roll down his cheeks in earnest.

For some reason, seeing this little boy looking so lost made Kaito feel unbearably sad. Automatically, he leaned down and drew the boy to his chest, wrapping his jacket around him, trying to warm him with rubbing motions on his back.

"Let's get you inside and I'll figure out what to do with you," Kaito said softly. Looking behind him, he noticed that they really were right next to Shinichi's house. "I'm sure he won't mind if we borrow his place. This is an emergency, after all," Kaito said, mostly to himself, as he carried the shivering boy, pressed to his chest, around to the Kudou mansion. Typing in the lock code he'd known by heart long before they'd actually made their relationship official, Kaito stepped through the gate, and with practiced expertise, unlocked the front door with a bobby pin.

Flipping on the lights, Kaito carried the boy, who seemed to have dozed off, up to the library, and set him gently on the couch, quickly peeling off the wet over-sized jacket. _Odd. I know I've seen that jacket before_…but having more important things to worry about at the second, Kaito raced off for towels and a trunk where he knew Kudou Yukiko was fond of keeping old clothes and toys of Shinichi's from when he was little. Grabbing a child-sized blue blazer, khaki shorts and white undershirt (a little too Shinichi-ish an outfit, he thought, chuckling to himself), he ran back to attend to the mystery child.

Dressing him gently, drying him off, Kaito ran off to make some hot chocolate (_hey, sounds good to me, and kids like hot chocolate, right?)_ and rang Shinichi's cell. It went straight to the answering machine. Deciding he'd try again later, Kaito pocketed his phone and continued working on the hot cocoa.

The boy was stirring when he returned.

"Hey, sleepyhead! Finally decided to wake up?"

Blinking and rubbing his eyes, the boy twitched a little at Kaito's voice and scooted backwards quickly, pressing himself against the arm of the couch, eyes darting around nervously.

"Hey, it's okay! What are you scared of?" Kaito spoke quietly, and approached him slowly, crouching down. It was only then, as the boy turned to huddle his face in the couch, that Kaito noticed the dried blood on the back of his head.

"Hey. Wait a second, is that?" Horrified, Kaito quickly told the boy to stay still before rushing off to get some wet washcloths and a first aid kit.

"I'm not going to hurt you, I promise," he said softly when he'd returned barely a minute later. "I just want to wash that wound so it doesn't get infected, okay?"

Slowly, he saw the boy nod and Kaito smiled, gently setting himself beside him on the couch, and ever-so-gently pulling him onto his lap, whispering softly, "I promise I'm not going to hurt you."

The boy's face softened, and he nodded again, crawling more fully onto Kaito's lap and turning obediently to let him get at his head wound. _Someone really got him badly_, Kaito thought angrily. _It's like someone hit him with a metal pole on the back of the head, but who would hit a child like that…?_

After cleaning the wound, Kaito began to smooth his hands through the neat, slightly damp hair, getting a better look at the damage. It looked like it must have really hurt, but hopefully there wouldn't be any permanent damage. Kaito treated his own wounds enough to have basic medical knowledge, but he wasn't entirely confident, particularly with head wounds…

"Hm, maybe we should take you to the hospital," Kaito said aloud, but at this, the boy began shaking, and suddenly turning around, clutched to Kaito's shirt, shaking his head insistently.

"No, I want to…stay here with…" and he shuddered again, his tiny voice sounding very scared and strained.

Leaning down, Kaito gathered him in his arms again, hugging him tightly to his chest.

"It's nice to see you have a voice," he joked softly. "We really should get you looked at, though. Oh, and your parents must be really worried. What's your name?" He asked gently, rubbing his hands over the boy's small frame, carefully avoiding that spot on his head.

"It's…" and the boy began to shake violently again.

"What? What's wrong? Hey, did I say something wrong?"

The boy shook his head and suddenly buried his face in Kaito's chest. And then, as if he'd taken strength from it, he looked up into Kaito's indigo-blue eyes and said softly, seriously, "I…don't know."

"You don't know what's wrong?"

"No, I don't…know my name…"

Kaito's heart froze. _Could this be because of that head wound? That's it, I have to take him to the hospital, but…if the kid really doesn't know who he is, then what will happen? I guess they'll draw blood and find out who his parents are, have them come get him…_

But something about this seemed off. Why had he been alone in the first place? Why had he been wearing those odd clothes? Clothes which, honestly, Kaito could swear he'd seen Shinichi wear-but what kind of parent lets their 6-year old run around dressed like that?

_He couldn't be homeless, could he? And what about that head wound?_

Something about the fear in his eyes struck Kaito to the core of his being. They were intelligent, almost terrifyingly so, but they were lost…why was he so scared of going to the hospital? Did he think they'd put him with a random foster family? _Maybe they would_, Kaito mused, and for some reason, the thought terrified him, and he clutched the boy to his chest.

"Don't worry. I won't leave you until we find your parents, okay?"

"Do you promise?"

Kaito smiled down at those penetrating blue eyes. "I promise," and he mussed his hair gently.

"Oh, but we should come up with a name for you, at least. Until we get the blood samples back, that is…I'm Kuroba Kaito, by the way." Smiling down at the eyes which widened inexplicably as he said his name, he made some blue smoke appear, leaving where it had been a little stuffed bloodhound finger-puppet. "Magician extraordinaire!" And he made the little finger puppet kiss the boy's cheek, bringing a smile to those serious little features.

"Cool," he said, taking the little dog. "I'll call him Sherlock."

"Sherlock, huh?" Kaito was watching him with supreme amusement. "Don't tell me you're a Holmes fan, too?"

The boy's eyes widened, and he looked confused. "Um, I think…that sounds familiar," he said.

"Hm, smart kid...Well, then, I should introduce you to Shinichi sometime! You know, you actually look a lot like him, come to think of it…then again, maybe I shouldn't let you two hang out. He'll be too encouraged when he hears you like Holmes. Might make a project out of you!" Kaito missed the look of confused, vague recognition that passed the boy's face as the magician said Shinichi's name.

"Well, so do you have any ideas? Anything sound okay to you? Not Sherlock, I beg of you," Kaito said, winking.

Hopping off Kaito's lap, the boy began to wander around the Kudou library, reading the names of book authors. His eyes fixed on a group of books in particular. "Conan…" he said softly.

"Conan? Hmm…not too bad, but you're really fond of that Holmes motif, aren't you?"

The little boy turned back sheepishly, smiling shyly. "Yeah, I, I guess so…"

"Well, if it works for you, it sounds fine to me! Conan it is! So, Conan-kun," he said, testing how the words felt rolling off his tongue, "If you're really against going to the hospital, I have an idea. Shinichi's next door neighbor is a kind of genius scientist, and though he is more into my arena of gadgets and everything, he still knows more than I do about medicine. So why don't we go ask him to check you out? What do you say?"

"Oh, okay," Conan said, looking at his feet. Shyly looking up he said, "Um, you're coming with me, right, Kaito-niichan?"

Beaming down at him and crouching to pull him into another little hug, Kaito said "I'm definitely coming with you, Conan-kun. In fact…if Agasa-hakase thinks you're fine, what would you say to living with me for a while?"

"Really?" The boy's face lit up with hope, and Kaito smiled, stroking his soft little cheek.

"Really really. We can tell people you're my cousin, but we can be brothers when we're alone. We sure look enough alike. What do you say? Think you can put up with me? I'm not a very good cook…"

Nodding enthusiastically, a genuine smile lighting up his face, Conan flung his arms around Kaito's neck, burying his head in his shoulder. "Thank you, Kaito-niichan," he whispered.

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

Smiling and clutching his charge to his chest, Kaito locked Shinichi's front door, thinking vaguely that he was definitely going to owe Shinichi an explanation after all of this, and buzzed the door of his next-door neighbor.

"Yes, yes, coming," the slightly harried yet kindly voice of Agasa-hakase could be heard before he opened the door, eyes staring for a second before something seemed to click.

"Oh, Kaito-kun, am I right? Sorry, I thought Shinichi had changed his hair on me for a second there," he laughed to himself.

"Haha, that would be scary, for sure. Um, Hakase, I was wondering if you could help me…this boy…"

Eyes widening, Hakase stepped aside to usher the two in, quickly leading Kaito, still cradling Conan gently in his arms, to a couch.

"Is he okay? Who is he?"

Kaito shook his head. "I just found him outside a little while ago, and it seems like something really bad happened to him. I found him wearing clothes that didn't fit him at all, and judging from the wound on the back of his head, something hit him really hard. The worst of it is, he's lost his memory, at least temporarily. And he's really terrified of going to the hospital, I think because he's worried he'll be taken away to live with strangers…"

Frowning and stroking Conan, who had dozed off again on the walk over, on the cheek, Kaito continued. "I mean, I know I was a stranger at first, but he knows me now, and I can't imagine how terrifying it would be to remember nothing and then to be torn away from the only new memories you've made…" He trailed off, but turned to meet Agasa's gaze.

"Can you really quickly check to make sure he's okay? Run some scans? I have some knowledge of first-aid, but I want to be sure. And do you think you could run some blood tests? Figure out who his parents are?"

"Yes, that's all perfectly fine, Kaito-kun. But what are you going to do with the boy?"

"I already spoke with Conan-kun about it, and I'm going to take him in for a while," Kaito responded, brushing some wispy hair out of Conan's face, tracing his finger gently over his rounded cheekbones.

"Oh, I see…" Agasa was looking at the boy strangely. "It's odd. He looks just like Shinichi used to when he was young…it's absolutely striking. If I didn't know better, I'd say our detective got himself shrunk! But then again, you have an uncanny resemblance to Shinichi yourself, Kaito-kun."

"Yeah," Kaito said absently, gazing thoughtfully at the face before him. Conan-kun really did remind him of a younger Shinichi, but…Shinichi never looked lost like this boy did. Those empty, confused eyes didn't belong on this face, as surely as they didn't belong on Shinichi's.

Conan shivered a little in his sleep, and Kaito rubbed his arms gently to try to warm him up, careful not to wake him. _Poor kid must be exhausted after…whatever happened to land him in this condition..._

Deciding to take advantage of the boy being out, Hakase quickly drew a little blood and ran some scans with an old MRI machine he'd upgraded himself.

Conan came to on a couch in Agasa's living room. His head still ached but at least the terrifying emptiness he woke with was quickly quieted when he heard Kaito's laughing voice. For some reason, that niichan really made him feel like things were going to be okay. Ouch, but his head really hurt, and he felt so weak…

There was a sizzling sound coming from the kitchen, and Conan slowly lifted up from the couch, listening to the voices of the two adults as he neared them.

"So it will take several weeks for the blood tests to give us any conclusive information," Agasa was saying. "To be certain of his identity, that is, and to compare it with records… That's just an estimate, however. The actual blood-work takes no time at all, it's just the matching his identity which is problematic."

"But he seems fine, otherwise?"

"Yes, as far as I can see. At first it seemed as if there were trace amounts of something odd in his bloodstream, but that could have been almost anything. And certainly not enough of anything to do any real damage. No, I think the boy is just tired…now as far as the brain scans go…"

Kaito drew a quick, sharp intake of breath.

"I don't think the memory-loss is directly connected to his head wound, as he was hit in the back of his head, but there is no apparent damage to the occipital or parietal lobes at all…there were, however, some readings showing abnormal activity in the hippocampus…It seems fine physically, though."

"The hippocampus is important for long-term memory, am I right?"

"That's right, but there is of course no one part of the brain which is responsible for any one function, nor can we predict exactly what damage to one area might do…but certainly, it is part of the limbic system, and is important for spatial understanding and memory. From what I've seen and you've told me, he has retrograde amnesia, so he shouldn't have any problems forming new memories."

"Do you think he'll get better, Hakase?" Kaito gazed at him in concentration, not a hint of humor in his usually laughing voice.

"He should, though how quickly and in what order his memories return, I can't say for sure. Most likely his most recent will be last, however…This isn't my area of expertise, you know, but I understand that memory is something incredibly hard to predict. The brain is such a complex and fragile organ, after all. We should be careful, too, about what we tell him when we do figure out things about his past. Forcing too much information on him, after all, could get him to close up, locking the memories inside."

"Yeah, and it's possible the memory loss is due to shock…I understand. And I'll help him, professor. It doesn't matter how long it takes, I'll help him to remember."

"Um, Kaito-niichan?" A soft voice spoke up behind the two men, and Kaito spun to meet the sleepy eyes of his new 'brother.'

"Oh, hey there, kiddo! What is it?"

"Um, I was wondering…where's the bathroom?" He asked quietly.

"It's right down the hallway to the right," Agasa said kindly, smiling down at him.

Conan instinctually moved to clutch at Kaito's legs, looking shyly up at the older man. Kaito chuckled and bent down, ruffling Conan's hair as he hoisted him onto his shoulders.

"Don't be shy, Co-chan! This is Agasa-Hakase! He's an old friend of Shinichi-niichan's," he said, grinning, putting a slightly childish lilt on the honorific.

The boy smiled shyly down at the professor, and another jolt ran through him, like a sudden, sharp headache which passed just as quickly. He smiled down at the worried eyes around him.

"I'm sorry, Agasa-hakase, it's...nice to meet you, I'm um…Kuroba Conan." No sooner had the name left his mouth, that Conan noticed his heart beating rapidly for some reason.

"Nice to meet you, too, Conan-kun. You're welcome here anytime, you know, but how about if I finish up supper while Kaito-kun shows you to the bathroom?"

"Okay," Conan responded with a shy smile before hiding his face in Kaito's messy hair.

_Strange_, Kaito couldn't help but think as he watched the fragile-seeming little boy pull his hand from his grip and disappear into the bathroom, _in some ways, he seems like such a little kid, but those eyes…I know it's because he looks so much like Shin-chan, but it feels like more than that…like he's trying to tell me something, maybe something he doesn't even understand…_

_Oh, I'm definitely thinking too far into this. Poor kid, he shouldn't have to deal with this. Well, all I can do is make him as happy as possible…and maybe get the bastards who did this to him in the meantime…_

"Shinichi?" Kaito shot his head around at the familiar voice, as a frantic Ran raced up behind him. "Shini-oh, Kaito-kun! Thank goodness! Have you seen Shinichi?"

"Wait, what?" Kaito stared at Ran, who looked much more disheveled than she normally did, face red from running, eyes wide in worry. "He was with you, wasn't he? At tropical land?"

"He was…but he disappeared before we were supposed to meet you for the fireworks, and…he hasn't been picking up his phone or answering his door, or…"

As her words and worried expression washed over Kaito, a thick sense of dread flooded him, and his chest constricted, heart beginning to pound in his ears. Forcing a smile, he said "It's Shinichi, Ran-chan, I'm sure he just got caught up in some case and turned his phone off… you know how he is."

"Yeah," Ran said, though she didn't look entirely convinced. "Well I'll tell you what, you better tell that tantei-otaku that he's going to have some serious explaining to do Monday at school, okay, Kaito-kun?"

"Um, yes, ma'am!" Kaito squeaked.

"Um, niichan? Kaito-niichan? Is Shinichi-niichan in trouble or something?"

Crouching down before the little boy exiting the bathroom, Kaito grinned and poked him lightly on the tip of his nose. "Not at all! He's just doing what detectives do…but you know, Conan-kun, detective stuff isn't the only fun thing to do. How about if I show you some more magic when we get home? If you work at it, maybe you can be my new assistant!"

"Really?" The little boy's eyes lit up with childish excitement and Kaito laughed, feeling that maybe he'd been seriously over-thinking the whole grown-up eyes thing…

"Kaito-kun, who's this child? He's so cute!" Squealing a little, Ran bent down and hugged Conan to her chest, smiling as he inched closer to Kaito and took his hand when she released him.

"Long story, Ran-chan, but let's just say he's with me now," Kaito said, smiling. "Kuroba Conan-kun, future magician extraordinaire! Right, Conan-kun?"

"Uh, yeah!" Conan squeezed the hand gripping his a little tighter and laughed as Kaito picked him up and threw him, gently, in the air, catching him securely in his hold and grinning at him, bumping their noses together.

_Yeah, I'm going to make you happy, kid, I promise..._

* * *

><p>Kind of a weird spot to end, but I hope you enjoyed it! I really appreciate your feedback~! I have general ideas for how this story will go, but feel free to give your own ideas :D<p>

I'm a little rusty on my psych knowledge, but I hope I didn't make too many mistakes ;)

Thanks so much! Please review! :)

till next time!

tess4aria


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2: Heal us of the Things We've Lost**_

_Sorry for the slow update! Longer chapter, though, so hope you enjoy! Thanks SO much for your reviews/favoritings/etc. last chapter! :D You guys rock! _

_btw, Firepaw, I love your idea...I'll consider it ;) depends on where the plot bunnies take me..._

_Japanese (because I over-use it...hehe): Oniichan/oniisan (older brother-chan is a closer, more affectionate, slightly more babyish way), otouto (little brother), neechan (older sister) ojouchan (little miss)_

_**Please R&R~!**_

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

"Home sweet home!" Kaito smiled down at Conan who, clutching his hand tightly, was taking in everything with avid, thirsty eyes. Kaito couldn't help but gulp as that gaze washed over him momentarily. It was so penetrating, as if he could see everything at once, could see into his deepest secrets…_Just like_…

"So, what do you think? It isn't much, but…anyway, it's just the two of us!"

"You don't live with your parents, niichan?"

"Aw, well, my mom is traveling around right now."

"And your dad? Is he with her?"

Kaito paled slightly. He hadn't expected the kid to hit him with that one so suddenly. After a few seconds of hesitation, Kaito grinned down at the boy, but Conan's eyes had already filled with concern. "I'm sorry, niichan…did I say something wrong?"

"What? No, of course not! You're fine!"

"Yeah, but…Kaito-niichan looked so sad for a second…"

Crouching down and putting his hands on Conan's shoulders, Kaito smiled at him. His eyes were so wise, really too wise for his years, and part of him seemed to already know… "My dad…isn't here anymore, Conan-kun," he said quietly. "He left eight years ago."

"Where did he…? Conan's eyes were fixed on Kaito intently, but when the magician hesitated, his soft eyes darkening ever so slightly, the boy's eyes widened in realization.

"I'm...so sorry, niichan. You must have been lonely…"

Breaking into a genuine smile and resting a gentle hand on Conan's shoulder, Kaito said "Well, I can't say I don't miss him, but even though he isn't here physically, that doesn't mean he's _really _gone. He left me with so much…all of the magic he taught me…and I still have the memories…"

He froze as he noticed Conan flinch suddenly, but the boy quickly hid it, smiling.

"Yeah, you're right, Kaito-niichan, and…you know…" he said softly. "You don't have to be lonely anymore. I know I can't be like your dad, but…"

Eyes widening at the pain which flashed across Conan's eyes for a second, somehow _far_ too perceptive for their age, Kaito reached forward and pulled him to him, lifting him up. "Oh, Conan-kun, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you sad!" Rubbing his thumb over his cheek and staring into his eyes, he smiled. "Thank you, though. You, know, it's funny, but that's almost exactly what he said..."

"He?"

"Mm. Shinichi said almost the same thing …" Snuggling his face in Conan's hair another second, Kaito held the boy forward under his arms and grinned at him. "Well, enough of that sad stuff! How about I show you around?"

"Okay, yeah!"

Clutching him to his side, Kaito went on to enthusiastically present each new room with an explosion of glittering confetti. Conan jumped a little the first time, but then seemed to find it amusing, paying closer attention to Kaito's hands and pockets than the colorful explosions themselves, his eyes narrowing in interest and concentration.

"And…here's my room!"

Conan raised his eyebrows slightly at the mess, but then smiled, twisting from Kaito's grasp to walk up to a large portrait of a dark-haired magician, framed by doves, which took up part of the wall across from Kaito's twin bed.

Kaito sat down on his bed and watched Conan curiously.

Conan gently let his hand rest on the picture, drawing a sharp intake of breath from Kaito, but then he turned around, smiling sadly at the teen magician. "Is this your dad, Kaito-niichan?"

He smiled and nodded. "I wish you could have seen one of his shows…he was the greatest magician." Kaito let out a little sigh. "Man, did I love him…"

A gentle touch on his hand jolted him from his reverie. Turning, he saw the concerned boy crouching next to him on the bed, holding onto his hand and looking at him, head tilted in concern.

"I'm so sorry, Conan-kun! I don't know what's wrong with me tonight. I guess I just never have people over, so memories are just getting the better of me. I usually go to Shinichi's house rather than the other way around, after all…But enough of that. You must be exhausted, huh? Ready for bed?"

A wide yawn answering that question, Kaito grinned at him, lightly ruffling his hair. "Okay, well I know I have some clothes you could change into around here somewhere. You okay alone for a few?"

Conan nodded, smiling. "I'll be fine, niichan!"

"Great. Be right back!"

A few minutes later, Kaito ran back in, holding some brightly-colored child-sized pajamas. "Okay, Co-chan! Arms up!"

"Oh, okay," Conan smiled a little nervously, and felt his cheeks heating up a little, but this only earned him a laugh from the magician.

"Oh, Co-chan, I'm flattered! You know I'm too old for you, though, right?"

"W-wh-"

Chuckling and grinning at Conan, rubbing away the confused expression by combing his fingers through his hair, Kaito crouched down and gently undid Conan's jacket and shirt, quickly slipping them off before pulling a bright green t-shirt over his head. "Okay, here are the pants!"

"Oh, I can do my pants, niichan…" Conan mumbled softly, the inexplicable blush coming back once again.

"Modest, are we? Well, fine, I see how it is. Suit yourself, kiddo!" Kaito grinned and moved to his closet to pull out some flannel shorts for himself to sleep in.

"Oh yeah, Sooo…sorry I don't have a room or bed set up for you yet," Kaito rubbed the back of his head, grinning sheepishly. "Do you mind sleeping with niichan tonight?"

Conan smiled and shook his head. "No, that sounds good…"

Grinning, Kaito ruffled his hair and yawned, collapsing backwards onto the bed beside him. When Conan didn't move to get comfortable, Kaito reached over and grabbed him to him, laughing when the little boy made a little surprised squawk.

"Here, now," Kaito said into his hair as he pulled the covers up over the two of them, "Tomorrow's going to be a big day, but for now, try not to worry, okay, Co-chan? I've got you, and I'll be here all night. Wake me if you need anything, okay?"

"O-okay, Kaito-niichan," Conan responded softly, smiling before snuggling further into Kaito's warmth before drifting off into sweet oblivion.

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

_The sun was shining. Jittery excitement surged up in his chest as he struggled free from someone's hold, not even looking back as he chased the boy with wild hair. Laughing, he chased him all over the playground until they collapsed, together, on the little merry-go-round. Reaching over, he grabbed the other exhausted boy's hand. "Caught you!" _

_"Nuh-uh!" And the wild-haired boy leapt back up, grinning, and began to spin the merry-go-round before hopping back on beside him, grabbing his hand back. "Now I've caught you!"_

_He grinned at him, and he felt his heart fill up…but then they started spinning faster. Clutching to each others' hands, they could feel the force and wind working against them, doing its best to wrench them apart. "Hold on! Shi-" And then it went black. The happy, innocent laughter was replaced with a cold, hard, low sound which chilled his heart. _

_"Sweet dreams, kid." And his body burst into flames._

Conan shot up, breathing ragged, knuckles clutching the sheets. _What…what was that? A nightmare? A memory? _As he squinted his eyes shut, straining to remember, he only felt the images slipping from him, leaving him only with a vague, empty sense of fear and loss. _There was someone…who was it_? But already, the faces were blank, landscapes blurry. Dizziness washed over him.

"Conan-kun? Conan-kun, are you okay?"

Conan opened his eyes, turning to face the concerned eyes of Kaito who had dashed into the room and was now crouching down, hands on his shoulders. "I'm so sorry, Conan-kun, I just raced out to the bathroom. Are you okay? It sounded like you were crying! Was it a bad dream?"

"Um, I…think it was but…I can't really remember…" Conan looked up and smiled into Kaito's eyes. "Don't worry, though, niichan. I'm better now, and it was just a dream, after all!" He was cut off as Kaito pulled him close tightly, his face pressed into Kaito's bare chest.

"You don't have to be so brave, Co-chan," he said softly. "I want you to tell me if something's wrong…"

Conan nodded into his chest. "I know," he mumbled. "But I really can't remember much…I feel better now, though, niichan, honest."

Kaito loosened his hold enough to pull back and look him in the eyes. "Okay, but remember, no holding back, okay? I mean it." Conan just nodded and Kaito smiled.

"Well then, if you're sure you're okay…well, let's get some breakfast, k?"

"Yeah!" Conan chirped brightly and Kaito laughed, nuzzling him once more before snatching him up and carrying him downstairs with him.

"So, what's it going to be? Umm….pancakes, pancakes, eggs or…pop tarts? Eh, I'll just make the lot." Kaito mumbled, juggling different ingredients as he shuffled through his pantry.

Conan chuckled from behind him, standing up on the chair where Kaito had deposited him to get a better view of Kaito's antics. "Wow…you're really good at juggling!"

"Aw, thanks, Co-chan!" Kaito beamed at him as he started the stove up, juggling several eggs in his left hand as he threw the pancake batter in the frying pan. "You thirsty?"

"Oh, yeah I am, actually..."

"Let's see…" Kaito let the eggs roll from one shoulder to the other as he opened the pantry back up. "I have coffee, but you wouldn't like that, so…"

"Oh no, I'll have coffee," Conan blurted out automatically.

Kaito paused and looked at him strangely. "You like coffee? Isn't that a little grown-up for you?"

"Um…" Conan blushed a little, feeling a little confused. "It just sounds good, I don't know…"

Kaito smiled. "Well, how about I make you some, and if you don't like it, you don't have to drink it? How would that be?"

"Yeah, thanks!" He met Kaito's smile, but then brought his hand up at an odd twinge of pain in his head.

"You okay there?" Kaito looked at him, concernedly, as he stopped juggling two plates he'd added to the mix at some point, transferring the pancakes onto them, before cracking the eggs into the pan and scrambling them.

"Oh yep, just fine!" Conan smiled at him. As Kaito's concerned frown broke into a relieved smile, Conan suddenly felt a warm, bubbly sensation rise up to settle in his chest. Smiling softly, he then just studied Kaito as the magician busied himself around the kitchen, putting finishing touches on the meal.

_Odd…I just can't be sad around Kaito-niichan…even though everything feels like a giant blur…it's like…when he smiles at me, I can't help but think things are going to be okay…_

"It's done!" Conan looked up to see Kaito grinning down at him, placing a plate of pancakes, eggs and pop tarts before him. "And of course, we can't forget…the questionable drink you ordered! Here you go, bocchama!" Grinning fit to burst, Kaito set a little mug of coffee down before Conan before taking his own place in the next chair with his own portion of the slightly-excessive breakfast.

Carefully, Conan took the mug in his hands and just held it for a time, savoring the feeling of it between his hands. He smiled. Something about this feeling was so…familiar and comforting. The smell, too, was really nice…

He noticed Kaito looking at him and he blushed. "Oh, sorry, I was zoning I guess…"

"No, not at all…" Kaito just continued to watch him with interest and slightly wide eyes as Conan took a sip of the coffee and…smiled…before taking another, larger gulp.

"Mm, this is great, Kaito-niichan, thanks!"

Slightly bemused, Kaito said "I'm glad, Co-chan! Um…how about the breakfast?"

"Oh, sorry!" Plunging quickly into a bite of pancake and egg, Conan smiled at him. "It's really good!"

_Man, those eyes are cute… _Kaito shook his head. "Good, Co-chan! Oh, how about if I go and introduce you to Shinichi after breakfast? Maybe afterwards we could go to the park or something. Would you like that?"

"Yeah, sounds great!"

"Guess I should call the silly detective first, though, shouldn't I? Boy will he be surprised to see I've found myself a cute little otouto-chan, huh, Co-chan?"

Conan blushed a little, smiling at Kaito's words. "Do you think he'll like me?"

"Are you kidding? What's not to like? You're amazing, Co-chan, what are you thinking?"

"I don't know…it's just weird, you know? I mean…some things feel familiar but…I don't know if I had friends, or if I live around here or…or anything and it's…" He gritted his teeth a little, but looked up when he felt Kaito's hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, don't worry. You'll remember, okay? I'll help you. But that's why we should go out, right? Maybe you'll recognize something! Maybe you'll even see someone you know! What do you think?"

Conan nodded, smiling. "Thanks, niichan, I really…really appreciate everything…"

"Don't be ridiculous. I'm really happy to have you with me, kid. Besides, I've been living here alone practically since we moved to Beika a few years ago, anyway..."

"R-really?"

Kaito sighed a little. "Yeah, well…Shinichi's family and mine have been close for a long time, so the two of us used to play together when we were little, but mom and I moved around a lot after dad…well, anyway, we didn't really see each other for a few years, but then mom got a new job and she has to leave the country a lot, so we moved back here so I could be around Shinichi and his family. Of course, then Shin-chan's family's been traveling out-of-country since he was 14, so it's just been the two of us, really, for a while. We're kind of stuck with each other! Which seriously has gotten me through so much, but still, it's nice having someone with me at home, too, you know?"

Conan was watching him fixedly again, searchingly, before reaching out a hand and squeezing Kaito's wrist, just giving him an encouraging smile when Kaito looked up to meet his eyes.

Shaking his head, Kaito said "Gee, Co-chan, I don't know why I keep talking to you this way…I shouldn't bother you with this!" _It's those damn eyes…I can't resist spilling my heart to them…what's up with me? I just can't see him as a little kid! _

Conan frowned a little. "I like it when you tell me things, niichan. Please don't hold back on me. You told me not to hold out on you, remember?"

Kaito nodded at the serious look in Conan's eyes and smiled before materializing a little carnation before Conan. "Thank you, dear otouto-chan."

Conan blushed a little as he took it before laughing as Kaito stuffed a fork-full of pancake into his mouth, shockingly not gagging, before pulling his cell phone from his pocket and dialing a number he knew quite by heart.

He frowned. "Answering machine again? Hm, oh well." Turning in his seat to avoid blasting an unsuspecting Conan with his intended-for-Shinichi voice, he sang into the phone "Shin-chan~! Where are you? Boy, do I have news for you, my beautiful. Oh, but it's a surprise, so you better call me back! You better not be avoiding me, Shinichi, because I know where you sleep! In fact, a…friend of mine and I will be paying you a visit shortly, so be ready to go, k? Love you, byez!"

Grinning, satisfied with his message, Kaito flipped the phone shut before shrugging at Conan. "Oh well, the detective nut isn't picking up, obviously, so we'll just have to crash his place! You ready to go, Co-chan?"

"Yeah!" Springing from his chair, Kaito crouched and ruffled Conan's hair.

"Oh yeah, but we should shower, Co-chan, don't you think? Before we head out?"

"Oh, that's a good idea," Conan blushed a little, embarrassed at having forgotten to do something so basic. After all, his personal memories were missing, but he could still remember how to live normally…basically, that is…

"Come on!" And with a grin, Kaito somehow tossed the dishes into the dishwasher without breaking them, and snatched Conan up with him, carrying him up the stairs. Conan squirmed a little this time, but he had to admit he liked it when Kaito held him, so he stopped struggling and let him go ahead.

"Okay, let's see…this way's warm, this way's cold. Got it?" Kaito turned the knobs, testing the water before grinning at Conan, who nodded. "Okay, then, here we go…" And Kaito turned to face Conan, pulling his pajamas off before picking him up and placing him in the tub.

Conan blushed but then relaxed as the warm water beat down on him. Reaching out for the soap, he frowned when he noticed it was out of reach.

"Need a hand?" Turning around, Conan made a shocked squeal, stumbling back in embarrassment. A totally naked Kaito was squatting behind him in the tub, grinning and holding out the soap.

"Um, uh…th-thanks, niichan…" he said, quickly turning away, fixing his eyes on the corner of the tub.

"What's wrong, Co-chan?" Kaito laughed, pulling the flustered little boy back to him, snatching the soap back before scrubbing it on his little chest. "We're both guys for goodness sakes!"

"Y-yeah, but…"

"But nothing! Don't be so shy! I've always wanted a little brother to have bath time with!"

Conan just stared at the laughing face, his own embarrassment slightly quelled by the magician's unabashed innocence. _But really…why am I embarrassed? Isn't it normal to bathe with your brother? Even if he isn't really my brother, he…_

Conan's thoughts were abruptly cut off as Kaito lifted him up to the showerhead, holding him in one arm as he quickly washed his hair with his other hand, laughing as he gave himself a Santa beard with the bubbles.

Conan couldn't help laughing at his antics, and felt himself relaxing in Kaito's comfortable arms despite himself.

"Okay, cocoon time!" Conan's questioning glance was again cut-off by a warm, fluffy towel enveloping him as Kaito clutched him to him. "Wasn't that fun, Co-chan?"

Conan rolled his eyes, but laughed nonetheless. "Yeah, yeah…"

Kaito stopped and cocked his head.

"What's wrong, niichan?"

"You just…really reminded me of someone just then…that sarcasm…"

"Oh, sorry!" Conan quickly mumbled. "I didn't mean to…"

"It isn't a bad thing!" Kaito grinned. "I just should maybe watch my back. If you get to be much more like Shin-chan, I'm going to have to get shin guards!"

"Huh?"

"Oh, well Shinichi's a star soccer player, so he has a mean kick. Seriously. You don't want to make him mad."

"Soccer, huh?" Conan looked thoughtful.

Kaito raised an eyebrow. "Maybe I spoke too soon…Well, hey, why don't we try playing a little at the park? What do you say?"

"Yeah, that sounds great!"

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

Once some child-appropriate clothes had finally been materialized, much to the huffy amusement of Conan, who had been forced to huddle in his admittedly warm towel in Kaito's quite huggy grip until then... and after Kaito had given up on his hair after a single comb-through, the two started out.

"Ne, Kaito-niichan?"

"Hm?"

"I have a question…is Shinichi-niichan…um earlier, with your phonecall…"

"Yes?"

"Are you guys…um…" Conan blushed a little.

Kaito stopped and grinned widely. "Yep! You got it right, Co-chan! He's my boyfriend~ We've only been official for a few months, but I think I've loved him for…hmmm…honestly? I think I've loved him in one way or another since we were kids…I was really lonely when mom and I moved away from him…but anyway, it's all better now!" He grinned down at Conan, who, much to his own confusion, had started blushing.

"Hey, that blush again! Aw, Co-chan, I hope you're not jealous! You're irreplaceable! It's just a different thing!"

"I-I know that! I'm not…j-jealous!" Conan spluttered, waving his arms wildly while Kaito burst into laughter, swooping down to quickly scoop Conan into his arms and hug him tightly. "I mean it, you know. You mean a lot to me, kid. It's funny, but I feel like I've known you for years, you know?"

Conan could just nod. He felt the same way, somehow, even though he knew it wasn't possible…

"Hm, back to where we started, eh, Co-chan?"

Clutching Conan's hand tightly in excitement, Kaito skipped over to the intercom and pressed it, waiting expectantly. He frowned and tried again. "That's odd…Hm…guess Shin-chan's being stubborn, huh, Co-chan?"

Conan just nodded, but his eyes narrowed slightly as he looked up at the dark windows of the large house. Another slight twinge of pain shot through his head as he watched a curtain blowing from one of the side rooms on the second floor, but then he noticed that Kaito had opened the gate and was leading them in, stopping to ring the doorbell before trying his cell again.

"Okay, Shin-chan…if this is the way you want to play, then fine." And with a slightly mischievous grin (though Conan thought he could see a hint of something darker, a hint of fear, under the grin momentarily), he took a little pin out and had the door open in an instant.

"Kaito-niichan? Shinichi-niichan doesn't mind if we just come in like this?"

"He's used to it," Kaito answered, waving nonchalantly, before letting go of Conan's hand, slipping his shoes off quickly and plucking Conan up in his arms. "Let's go find tantei-kun, okay?"

Conan tilted his head questioningly, but Kaito just grinned before setting off through the house, making quick work of the downstairs floor, yelling out "Yoo-hoo, Shin-chan!" at various intervals before racing up the stairs and flinging open the library doors. Empty. Narrowing his eyes, Conan could feel Kaito's heart rate speeding up as he turned to another room, and opened it slowly. An empty bedroom, the bed made-up neatly.

Kaito narrowed his eyes as he walked in and eyed the open window. "That's how I left it last night after it stopped raining," he muttered. Looking around, he noticed the mug of hot chocolate he'd left on Shinichi's bedside table as he'd raced to grab the first-aid kit the previous night. "It really doesn't look like he's…been back…" he said softly. The poker face he'd been holding onto for Conan's sake was slipping despite himself, and a horrible premonition washed over him, making him feel suddenly sick and cold.

"Kaito-niichan? Are you okay?" Conan was tugging on his hand, and Kaito looked down, those deep blue eyes knocking him out of his trance.

"Oh, sorry, Co-chan…Shinichi probably just got caught up with some case or something…" _But he's always remembered to let me know when it's lasted over-long…at least recently…_

"Why don't you call Agasa-hakase and Ran-neechan?" Conan suggested. "Ask them if they've heard from him?"

Kaito's eyes widened. "Co-chan, you little genius, you! Man, I shouldn't let myself get so flustered, huh? Okay, let's see…"

Conan smiled as he watched Kaito set his face into a determined expression, grinning down at him as he picked up his phone.

_I can tell he's really scared, but he just doesn't want to worry me…_

As Kaito hung up the phone, though, his face set into a grimmer, stiffer expression. When he hung up for the second time, he definitely looked pale.

"They haven't heard from him…" he said weakly.

"Oh, niichan," Conan gripped his hand in both of his, rubbing it to try to calm him. "Don't worry, niichan, I'm sure…I mean, from what it sounds like, Shinichi-niichan can take care of himself, right? He's probably just really busy. I'm sure he'll call you as soon as he can, so don't worry! He wouldn't want you to, right?"

Kaito's eyes widened and his face softened. Taking a deep breath, he looked down at Conan and smiled genuinely. "What would I do without you, voice-of-reason-kun? I'm sure you're right, and Shinichi would totally roll his eyes at me if he saw me acting this way." Crouching down beside Conan, he grinned and grabbed the boy's hands in each of his. "Well, it's Shin-chan's loss. What do you say we go to the park?"

"Okay!"

And with that, the two set back out, hand in hand, until they'd reached an almost-empty little playground with a playset, sandbox, large grassy area with a soccer goal, and a merry-go-round.

"Co-chan? Conan? Ne, you okay in there?"

"Huh?" Conan blinked. "Oh sorry…I didn't even realized I'd zoned out."

"You were looking at that merry-go-round over there. Do you recognize it?"

Conan considered it, forehead creased, and his hand came automatically to sit under his chin. "It does feel… familiar. Almost like…" His eyes widened. "I think it was in my dream last night! Or…at least a similar one…not like that tells us much," he said morosely.

"No, that's great!" Kaito said brightly. "If you're already able to remember things from your dreams to pin them with real life, that means you're making progress! And this means that maybe you're from around here, you think?"

"Maybe…" The two approached the merry-go-round, but then Conan looked confused. "It's wrong…"

"Huh?"

"It's the same, but at the same time…look, niichan, see how the paint's almost all peeled off? How it looks really old?"

"Yeah, this has been here for a while, they probably haven't painted it many times since I was your age…"

"Yeah, well I remember the red being really bright, like it was brand new…" Conan looked at it testily.

"Really…" Kaito considered Conan's serious expression as the boy sat down on the rusted merry-go-round, hand resting under his chin again. Like a flash, déjà vu surged through Kaito and his breath caught. _This is so…familiar…_ Kaito continued to stare at the little boy, and it struck him again that his eyes were not the only truly striking similarity to Shinichi. He was seriously a Shinichi clone! Being in this park where the two of them used to play, he almost felt like he had been transported back ten years…as if this were Shinichi about to chase after him, taking back the crayons he'd stolen from his favorite detective-in-training.

Kaito shook his head, jolting himself out of these thoughts as Conan turned to look at him.

As he was about to say something, some voices behind them interrupted him.

"Give it here, Mitsuhiko!"

"But Genta-kun, that isn't fair!"

"I haven't been able to show my super-special shot to Ayumi-chan, yet!"

Kaito blinked as the soccer ball the boys were tugging at whooshed towards them. Turning to catch it, he stopped as he noticed Conan's attention had been utterly stolen away by the flying ball. With a little confident smirk, Conan raced forward, and head-butted the ball straight up, waiting for it to drop back down before kicking it easily into his arms. He grinned at Kaito before turning to hold it out to the other kids.

"Awesome…" the boys said in unison, as a little dark-haired girl ran up to them smiling. "Oh, thank you!"

"Oh, you're welcome," Conan said quietly, smiling as he passed it to the girl.

"That was really cool how you kicked the ball that way! Sorry these dummies almost hit you with it…" she frowned, glaring at her two friends who looked a little nervous before turning back to Conan with a winning smile.

"I'm Yoshida Ayumi! What's your name?"

"Um, Kuroba Conan! Do you guys like soccer, then?"

"Yeah we do!" The larger of the two boys said as he raced up to join them. "We're really good, too. But I guess you aren't too bad, yourself. You can play with us sometime if you want. Call me Genta."

"And I'm Mitsuhiko! I haven't seen you around here before…did you just move?" The slightly lanky, freckly boy asked good naturedly, holding out his hand.

Smiling and shaking it, Conan said "Um, yeah. I'm staying with my cousin, actually. I just moved in last night," he said, smiling.

"Oh! Is that your cousin?" Ayumi pointed up at Kaito. "He looks just like you! Are you sure you aren't brothers?"

Kaito laughed, squatting down to be eye-level with the kids, and putting an arm around Conan. "Thanks for the complement, ojousan! But no, we're not brothers by blood, but we're close enough," he grinned. "I'm Kuroba Kaito. You guys think you could show Conan around a little sometime? It might be good for him to have some friends his own age. You think, Co-chan?" He asked the last in a low voice, checking to make sure he wasn't crossing any bounds, forcing friendships on him, but relaxed when Conan beamed at him. Kaito grinned at the kids, who were (especially Ayumi) looking incredibly excited.

"Of course, oniichan! Ne, Conan-kun, do you want to be friends with us?"

"Um, sure, that would be great…" he said, slightly embarrassed by her enthusiasm.

"Well, I guess I could take you on as my apprentice!" Genta said, smirking slightly and slapping a hand on Conan's shoulder.

"Apprentice?" Conan cocked his head.

"Yeah! We're the shounen tantei dan!"

Conan's eyes lit up. "You're detectives?"

Kaito groaned. "Oh no…it's begun! Why is everyone in my life…aw well, woe is me." He grinned as Conan looked at him. "I'll warn you kids. I'm willing to bet you that Conan-kun here's going to be a fabulous detective one of these days…"

"Really, Conan-kun?" Ayumi asked.

"Oh, I don't know, but I like Holmes."

"You've read Holmes?" Mitsuhiko looked stunned.

"Oh, well I'm not sure…see I can't quite…" he looked at Kaito for help, and Kaito licked his lips, thinking about how he could phrase this carefully without the kids flipping out. _They seem like good kids, though, and maybe this is just the kind of stimulation Co-chan needs…I'm going to try trusting them. _"Well, to be honest you guys…Conan-kun here has something called amnesia. Do you know what that is?"

Mitsuhiko's eyes widened, but the others looked a little confused. "You mean…he can't remember anything?"

"Well, not quite, but he's lost most of his memories from the past, so details like what books he's read and stuff…and even who his friends were…even his name…he can't remember."

The kids' eyes all widened in horror.

"But he's already getting better! We just need to help him find the different things he used to do, and bit by bit he'll remember. Do you guys think you can help?"

"Yeah!" The three yelled together before practically glomping Conan, the four of them landing into Kaito who found himself, back-down, on the ground, the bottom of the pile-up.

"This can be our greatest mystery as the shounen tantei!" Genta cheered.

"Don't worry, Kuroba-kun, we'll help you find your memories!" Mitsuhiko said, smiling.

"Yeah, Conan-kun, so don't worry, okay? I promise it'll be okay soon!" Ayumi's eyes were glistening with tears as she hugged him around the neck.

Conan was slightly overwhelmed, but just awkwardly patted her back, letting her hold onto him.

"Uh, you guys," Kaito said, coughing a little, alerting them to the fact that they were all still variously lying, squatting or standing on him (which wouldn't have been a problem if not for Genta).

"Oh, sorry, niichan!" They all squeaked in unison as they clambered off of him, and Kaito laughed.

"No problem! I've had worse, I can assure you…oh, but you guys…you wouldn't be interested in a little magic show, would you?"

"M-magic show?" Ayumi asked, eyes widening in sudden excitement.

"Yep! This'll be a private show in honor of your befriending Conan-kun! What do you think?"

"Yeah!" The shounen tantei yelled, and Conan smiled, hanging back a bit as he watched them. He turned and met eyes with Kaito, who winked at him. "Keep your eyes out for tricks you want to learn, Co-chan," Kaito whispered to him before taking his place before the four of them. With a twirl, pink smoke suddenly covered him, and when it vanished, Kaito was dressed in a black suit over a red shirt, with white gloves and a black top hat. "And now, boys and girl, if I could have your attention, please!" And Kaito took a low, showy bow, grinning as a dove burst from his hat as he took it from his head, "Let's begin the show!" And with a snap, streamers, glitter and confetti all burst from his hat, and stretching his arms out, several more doves emerged from his sleeves, shirt pockets, and hat.

"Hmm…now what should I show you first…?" Kaito said outloud as he began to dig through his hat, each new odd item he pulled out (from a rubber duck to a stuffed bunny to sparkly bouncy balls) he began to juggle with one hand, not seeming to notice the wide-eyed stares as his one hand juggled ten items at once, when he suddenly snapped with his other hand, and each item vanished in a poof of green smoke.

"Ojouchan, could you be my assistant?"

Ayumi beamed and raced forward instantly, almost jumping as she paused before the magician. "Let's see…" Kaito begin to spin around her, using a scroll of measuring tape he'd brought out of nowhere. "Aw, I have just the thing!" And with a snap, she was dressed head-to-foot in a pink Cinderella dress, tiara in her hair, suddenly tied back in a cute-elegant bun, and a little magic wand in her hand. Looking down, she absolutely squealed, and Genta and Mitsuhiko almost collapsed in cuteness-overload.

Ayumi turned to Kaito with beaming, sparkling eyes. "Oniichan! You…you're amazing!"

"Haha, why thank you, my cute little ojouchan. Now let's see who we have next…" And walking behind Genta and Mitsuhiko, suddenly, two knights in shining, gleaming armor stood there, thrilled with their real-looking rubber swords.

"And you, sweet prince," Kaito whispered from behind Conan, who jumped a little, "shall be…" and, no surprise, Conan was in full prince regalia, sporting a dark blue suit with a burgundy cape, a little sword belt attached at his waist and a crown on top. To top it off, one eye was covered by a monocle, but Kaito quickly said "Oops! Maybe I'll leave that part off…heheh" before snatching and pocketing it. Conan looked at him suspiciously, but was then attacked by a little princess around his neck.

"Conan-kun, you look so handsome!"

This earned him some glares from the two boys, and Conan glared at Kaito, who just sat back to enjoy the show. _All part of the plan, little otouto-chan…I'm sure this isn't your first time making someone jealous…_

"Uh, thanks, Ayumi-chan, hehe…" Gently prying her arms off, he noticed the two boys running for him, and without a thought, began to run. At first, he was a little panicked, but after the chase had taken them around the playground a few times, he felt a sense of release, and he began to enjoy the wind in his face, the freedom of just running for fun.

"Ack!" Genta grabbed the end of his cape and he started to fall face forward, but Kaito was there in an instant, catching him and scooping him up, grinning up at him. "Not bad, Co-chan! It's pretty hard to run with a cape, isn't it? That was pretty good for your first try!" He grinned and Conan laughed, looking down at the panting kids below him.

"Aw…no fair! You have your niichan there to save you!" Genta pouted.

"Well, you guys were playing two-against-one," Kaito admonished, wagging his finger while winking.

"Yeah, but…"

"Oh yeah, Conan-kun? Are you going to come to school with us, then?"

Conan and Kaito blinked at each other.

"Oh gee…I didn't think about that…" Kaito mumbled to himself as he set Conan down at his feet.

"Please do! It'll be so much more fun!"

"Well…what do you think, Kaito-niichan? Do you think I can?"

"Uh, that's…" Kaito scratched his head as he considered it. For Conan to go to school, he'd have to fake an identity for him, but this whole thing was bound to be temporary anyway until he figured out his real identity…_well_, _I definitely know how to forge papers, though, so I'm not so worried about the whole legality side of it. Besides, Shin-chan'll get me out of trouble if I need him to… _At the thought of Shinichi, Kaito's heart began to pound against his ribcage painfully and his head swam a little.

Conan's expectant eyes jolted Kaito back once again. "I guess it's up to you, Co-chan. Do you want to?"

"Uh, yeah, I think school sounds fun," he smiled.

"Don't worry, Kuroba-kun," Mitsuhiko said energetically, "I'll help you get caught up with whatever we've done to this point, so you won't have to worry about being behind or anything."

"Yeah, and we meet for shounen tantei meetings at lunch time, so you better not be late!" Genta put in.

"You'll really come, Conan-kun?" Ayumi asked, voice hopeful.

"If niichan says it's okay," Conan smiled.

"It's totally fine, Conan-kun," Kaito smiled, putting his hand on Conan's head. "I'll talk to the school and we'll see if you can't start on Monday, okay?"

"Yeah! Great!" Conan's eyes lit up, and the shounen tantei crowded around him, cheering.

_Man, it's great to see him looking so happy…just like a normal kid without any of this memory loss… _He frowned. _I hope when he does remember that his memories won't be too painful…damn, I hope they don't steal that smile away…I'm not sure what you got yourself into, Conan-kun, but I never want to see you looking so lost again…_

Waving back at his new friends, promising them he'd see them on Monday, Conan left the park grinning, his hand clutched securely in Kaito's, feeling as if normalcy might possibly come back into his life...

* * *

><p>Hope you guys liked it! I'm trying to deal with the whole Conan really THINKING he's a kid dynamic, but then having some adult-like instincts...and I'm not sure if I'm doing a believable job of reconciling the two, but...please let me know! :D<p>

Hope you enjoyed it! Please review!

tess4aria


	3. Chapter 3

**_Chapter 3: The Pains of an Education_**

Thank you SO MUCH for your reviews last chapter! You guys are the greatest!

Here we go again~

**_Please R&R~!_**

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

"Rise and shine!"

Conan groaned and squinted as bright sunlight poured down on him, dimmed by the curtain Kaito had put up for him the night before, a royal blue with little golden magnifying glasses (and white doves Kaito had magicked onto it), as he turned to look up at the smiling face of his enthusiastic alarm clock.

"M-morning, Kaito-niichan," he said, yawning and stretching, enjoying, tremendously, the sensation of being able to luxuriously stretch his limbs out to their fullest.

Laughing merrily at the boy's little kitten-like movements, Kaito dropped down to his knees, leaning in to nuzzle him gently in the neck, before saying, "Ready for your first day of school, Co-chan?"

"Oh!" Springing up instantly, Conan turned to smile widely at Kaito. "I forgot about that! Yeah!" And quickly, he leapt from the bed. He misjudged the distance, however, and tripped forward, only to be caught, securely, in Kaito's arms.

"Woah, there, kiddo! I'm glad you're excited, but don't go and hurt yourself, now!" He grinned, mussing Conan's hair a little before setting him firmly on the ground before him. "So, what to wear?" Walking over to the little 'closet he'd arranged for Conan in which hung mostly an assortment of the better articles of clothing his mom had kept of his, all low enough so that Conan could reach them on his own if he needed to, he began to rustle through the selection, pulling out several different mini graphic t-shirts and light hoodies. Conan, however, reached across the magician and picked out the outfit he'd come to Kaito's house in, the white shirt and blue jacket that had been taken for him from the Kudou mansion.

As the boy eyed the clothing with inquisitive eyes, then smiling and nodding in satisfaction, Kaito just stared, watching him.

"What's wrong, Kaito-niichan?" Conan asked, pausing on his way to the bathroom to change as he noticed Kaito's bemused look.

Kaito blinked and snapped out of it, laughing. "Oh, nothing, Co-chan! You're just really _just_ like Shin-chan is all!" He laughed again, a little more loudly, and Conan frowned. He knew a forced laugh when he heard one. But he wasn't sure how to comfort Kaito either, just feeling suddenly stupid for picking a set of clothes that had brought sad memories to his oniichan's mind…

Instinctively, he approached Kaito and took his hand, gently, in both of his, pulling it up to rest on his cheek.

Kaito stared at him, and his heart pounded of its own volition as Conan turned his piercing, too-knowing eyes to meet his. Melting under that gaze, Kaito felt frozen momentarily, but then the gentle, comforting warmth of the soft cheek and hands on his palm wrenched him back to the real world, and he leaned forward and hugged Conan close. "You can see right through me, can't you, Co-chan?" He whispered. "Thanks for worrying, but I'm fine."

"Really?" Conan raised an eyebrow, peering at him closely, as if trying to work out the answer before Kaito responded, but the magician nodded firmly.

"Really. I mean it…and anyway…I think _someone _has something more important to think about, don't you?" And grinning mischievously, Kaito began to tickle him, chasing him to the bathroom with threats of worse, less yielding tickle-attacks next time.

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

"Now, Co-chan, my school is really close to yours, and I'll be out first to meet you at the gates when you're done today, okay? Just in case, though, here's a house key. Be careful with it."

"I will, niichan," Conan smiled at him and Kaito crouched, beaming back, as he put a hand on his shoulder. "Make sure to tell me if anyone gives you trouble, okay?" Kaito said seriously, and Conan nodded again.

"Good." Nodding in satisfaction, Kaito took his hand again and walked him to the main school office, hugging him goodbye after introductions were dealt with as a smiling, young teacher escorted his little brother down the hall.

"Ganbatte, Co-chan!" Kaito waved enthusiastically.

Conan turned and grinned, waving back. "You too, oniichan!" And then he and the teacher stopped in front of a classroom labeled 1-B. Conan gulped. _Well, here goes nothing!_

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

"Okay class," Kobayashi-sensei began, smiling around at her enthusiastic class, somehow _more _enthusiastic this morning than usual, something she could (rightly) attribute to three particular students who were practically jumping up and down in their seats, peeking glances at the door every few seconds as if waiting for someone before collapsing back into streams of super-speed chatter.

"Hem-hem," she cleared her throat. "HEM-HEM!" That worked a little, and she smiled at her moderately attentive audience. "So everyone, I have an important announcement to make. We have a new student joining us today!"

Instantly, excited cheers went up all throughout the class, and Ayumi, Mitsuhiko and Genta looked like they were practically bursting at the seams. "He's just moved here, so I need you all to be very nice to him, okay? Also…" Her voice turned serious, and the kids were now paying her their undivided attention. "Conan-kun has something called amnesia, you guys, so you need to-"

"Conan-kun can't remember a lot of stuff about his past, so you guys better be nice to him!" Ayumi passionately blurted out, her eyes gleaming dangerously around at the other students in a silent warning.

"Um…thank you, Ayumi-chan," said the more-than-mildly shocked teacher. "It's as Ayumi-chan says, everyone, Conan has suffered temporary memory loss, so don't overwhelm him with questions. And don't force him to remember things, as it might make it worse. What I need you to do," and she looked, very seriously, around at each serious, slightly frightened face, "Is treat him as you would treat any other new friend, get to know him normally, and just play normally with him, and soon he'll be as good as new. Do you guys understand? This is extremely important," she said, stressing the last bit.

At the chorus of grave nods, she smiled in satisfaction and turned to the shadows standing outside of the classroom door-one shorter, one taller. "Conan-kun? You may come in now!" And she smiled as a nervous-looking dark-haired boy entered the classroom, stopping in front of the teacher's desk as she beamed down at him.

"Nice to meet you, Conan-kun! I'm Kobayashi Sumiko, and I'll be your teacher this year!"

"Nice to meet you, Kobayashi-sensei," Conan said politely, bowing slightly.

Putting a hand on his back, Kobayashi-sensei leaned in to say, "I'm sure your classmates are dying to meet you, so why don't you introduce yourself? It looks like you already have some friends in the group, too!"

Looking up, Conan smiled at the three beaming, enthusiastically waving kids in the middle, Ayumi-chan leaning forward in her seat, excitement literally radiating off of her. "Conan-kun, you came!" She squealed.

Conan's nervousness lessened a whole lot at her enthusiastic greeting, and he grinned, waving back. "Yeah, I did!" Stepping forward more and looking around, still somewhat awkwardly, to address the class as a whole, Conan said "Hi everyone, I'm Kuroba Conan. I like, um…soccer, mysteries and magic tricks and…well, it's nice to meet you!" He blushed a little and bowed, and a little rumble of chatter rushed through the class, sounds of approval from little boys at the 'soccer' comment, and little squeals from girls at his 'cute blush' among the most common responses.

The three who were most silent, for once, were the three beaming at him most welcomingly, however, and Conan felt himself walking forward towards them even before Kobayashi-sensei had set her hand on his back, saying "That was great, Conan-kun! Thank you! Why don't you take a seat behind Ayumi-chan?"

He nodded and ran forward, and was nearly tackled by the three kids who had been waiting patiently for him (too patiently, in their opinions), slightly overwhelmed by the cheers of 'You came! You came!' 'Conan, you better play soccer with us at recess' 'And sit with us at lunch!' 'And don't forget about our Shounen Tantei meeting!'

"Okay, guys, settle down, now, and let Conan-kun find his seat," Kobayashi-sensei admonished gently. To be honest, she'd been really worried when she'd heard a boy with amnesia, who was apparently staying with his cousin, not even his parents!, was joining their class. She had been afraid (understandably so) that the other kids might tease him or ignore him, or that he would be too shy to open up to any of them…and the extent of how mistaken she'd been had led her to just enjoy the minutes of chaos reigning in her classroom as her three most enthusiastic students welcomed the boy she now knew would be taken care of. She sighed in relief. All was well in the little semi-controlled world of her classroom.

"Okay, everyone! So, we're going to start with math today!"

Groans sounded throughout the room.

"Oh, come on, guys, you've all been doing so well! Now, you all seem to have addition pretty well, now, so today we're going to continue reviewing subtraction and later, we may even do some multiplication tables! What do you think?"

Some unenthusiastic grunts answered her, but she laughed cheerfully nonetheless. "Okay…let's see…Oh, and Conan-kun? Don't worry if some of this is new at first. I'm sure you'll catch on really quickly, but don't feel discouraged if it seems difficult, okay?"

Conan had an odd look of concentration on his face, but he smiled back at Kobayashi-sensei when she addressed him directly. "Thanks, sensei! I'll try, though! It all sounds familiar to me…"

"Well great, just do your best, then!"

Moving up to the blackboard, she began writing out a series of simple subtraction problems. "Now everyone, please copy these into your own notebooks and work on them silently. And that means ALONE, Sugita-kun!" She smiled as a little boy (apparently Sugita-kun) stopped peeking over at his neighbor's answers.

Smiling as she watched her students diligently working, she frowned in slight concern when she noticed Conan wasn't writing. Stepping slowly over to him, trying not to draw too much attention to him, she leaned down and gently asked "Conan-kun? Do you have a question about the problems? Something you'd like me to explain? I know we're using pretty big numbers, so it might be difficult, but you just have to ask!"

Smiling at her, Conan shook his head and said "No thanks, sensei. I think I have it down pretty well."

Tilting her head in confusion, Kobayashi-sensei turned to look at his paper for the first time, and noticed that every question had an answer neatly written in…eyes widening further, she noticed that there were no errors in his work. Smiling widely at him, putting a hand on his shoulder, she felt _another _worry that teachers often had to deal with with transfer students… namely, how difficult it could be for them to catch up…washing away. "Great, Conan-kun! Well, then…is anyone else done?" She asked the last in a louder voice, addressing the class as a whole.

The continued scratching of pencils and lack of response suggested not, and she turned back to Conan. "Well, you could read ahead a bit, then, Conan-kun. Let's see…" and she pulled out an intended-for-kids version of _Taketori Monogatari_ (a classical Japanese fairy-tale, Tale of the Bamboo-Cutter) from the bookshelf at the back of the room and passed it to him. "Do you know Taketori Monogatari?"

"Um…maybe…it doesn't really ring a bell but…"

"Well that's fine. Just see if you can't read a little bit while you're waiting for the rest to catch up." And with a wink, she went back to observe the class from the front. Again, though, her attention drifted back to the polite, intelligent little transfer-student. Eyes narrowing, she noticed that he was almost already finished with the book…and only a few of the other kids had finished their math problem sets! By the time most of the class was done, Conan had set the book down on his desk and was looking around in polite expectancy.

_Did he really read it that quickly?_ _Maybe he just skimmed it…I don't want to put him on the spot, but…_ Casually, the teacher smiled at Conan and said, "Did you like the book, Conan-kun?"

He nodded. "Yeah, and I think I do remember it, but…I feel like it was a little different…like, not so simple."

Kobayashi-sensei blanched. "S-simple, Conan-kun?"

He nodded, and he rested his chin in his hand in thought. "Oh, I know! It's because this version isn't in Classical Japanese! That's why it seemed so much less detailed…"

The poor teacher just blinked in shock at the boy who didn't seem to find anything odd in what he had said…she was spared having to respond by the boy's friends.

"Wow, Conan-kun, you've read Taketori Monogatari in the original? In Classical?" Mitsuhiko was grinning at him in impressed wonder.

Conan had by this point noticed the amount of attention he'd drawn to himself and began to sink slightly down in his chair, just shrugging slightly in response to Mitsuhiko's question.

Smiling genuinely, Mitsuhiko leaned over and whispered "I think that's awesome. Do you think you could teach me sometime?"

His embarrassment melting at Mitsuhiko's genuine interest, and the fact that he didn't seem to think he was a weirdo, Conan met his eyes and grinned back, nodding. "Sure, Mitsuhiko-kun. If I can, that is…I don't really remember doing it, but those words just kind of came naturally. I didn't think about them before I said them, but…I don't think I was lying…"

"Well good, Conan can help me with my homework, then," Genta said from behind. "If you do a good job, I might even consider trading you some onigiri! But the unagi's mine!"

Conan stared at him for a second in confusion, but Ayumi's quick, whispered explanation of Genta's obsession with food made him break out in laughter, happy that his friends had effectively diffused the momentary tension in the air.

All things considered, Kobayashi-sensei was relieved when the lunch bell rang, smiling as the four friends tumbled through the door in equal excitement. _Well, that wasn't what I expected. But he's still a child, even if he's an astonishingly brilliant child…those things couldn't have been lucky flukes, could they have? Well, I guess time will tell…_

Lunch and Recess with the Shounen Tantei turned out to be a combined affair, and as they four of them found a comfortable place under a tree to unwrap and enjoy their _bentou_, Conan got his first dose of what Ayumi-chan meant by Genta's food obsession. Cheering as he unwrapped his lunchbox to find his mom had packed his all-time favorite Unagi [author's note: I agree with Genta], he began to assault Conan with questions about his favorite foods, flavors of ice cream, etc. When Conan responded that he wasn't sure, Genta gasped in horror, standing and passionately reasserting his determination to get Conan his memory back.

"Okay, that's it!" He yelled, making Conan wince and cover his ears momentarily. "Each day, Conan, I'm going to bring you new things, and you're going to try them…and that way, you can figure out what you like and don't like! Got it?"

Conan started to laugh but then stopped at Genta's sincerity…_and really, that's not a bad idea. Until I recover my memories, how else will I know but to just try lots of things, and maybe a certain smell or flavor will bring up another memory…_ Smiling up at Genta, he said "Yeah, thanks! That would be awesome."

Nodding gravely, Genta closed his eyes and suddenly pressed his hands together as if he were blessing his box of unagi (or just thinking very hard about something while leaning of his lunchbox), and then jerked his eyes open and said, in a manner suggesting great self-sacrifice, "I'll let you have one bite of my unagi."

Conan stared. "But isn't that your favorite?"

"This is…more important. Just take some."

Smiling at this slightly odd new friend of his (who he felt, suddenly, could easily be a fiercely loyal friend as well), Conan took the proffered chopsticks and tried a bit of the sweet-sauce-dipped _unagi_. He grinned at Genta in thanks. It didn't do anything for him especially, but it still tasted somehow nostalgic, giving him a sensation of warmth, of laughter…

"Conan-kun? Are you okay?" Conan looked up to see Ayumi looking at him worriedly.

"Sorry, Ayumi-chan!" He grinned sheepishly. "I guess I was kind of lost in thought for a second there."

"Did the unagi help? Did you remember something?" Genta was leaning forward in intense excitement.

Conan pressed his lips tightly together in thought. "Well, yes-and-no. Nothing specific, but…I remembered a feeling…like, I remembered having some happy experience with unagi…and, maybe…" He thought about it further and shook his head. "I don't know, but it made me feel like I was with friends or family…it didn't feel like I was alone…"

At the thought, a sudden well of happiness, of belonging, surged up in his chest, and he grinned around at his friends who were beaming back at him.

"That's so great, Conan-kun!" Hugging him tightly, Ayumi then settled down close beside him, and he sputtered in slight embarrassment. When the boys began to glare, he quickly said "So, do you guys have any cases you're working on?"

That distracted them successfully enough, and Genta responded, "Well, we need to spread our name more. So far we haven't had too many, but we've already solved…" He began counting on his fingers.

"We've found three missing cats, discovered the source of an odd sound in the science lab, discovered where Kobayashi-sensei's paperclip supply vanished to, and several others," Mitsuhiko supplied.

Conan stared at them in slight bemusement. _Why do I feel let down? I guess that sounds like pretty normal deduction work for kids our age, but it just…I feel like we could do better…I feel like I __**have **__done better…_

"Oh, and we like solving puzzles!"

"Puzzles?"

"Yeah, well the best ones are like the codes Kaitou Kid puts in the papers, but they're too difficult, but sometimes Kobayashi-sensei will write some for us…"

For some reason or other, Conan's heart had begun to pound in absurd excitement at the mention of Kaitou Kid, but he didn't have a memory to place with the name. "Who's this…Kaitou Kid?"

Ayumi beamed. "He's amazing! Like a white knight superhero!"

"A superhero?" Conan tilted his head dubiously.

Mitsuhiko shook his head. "No, he's no superhero, but he dresses like one, and he flies using a hang-glider… but he's actually…" and his voice dropped to a whisper as if he were sharing some secret information… "a thief."

Conan's eyes widened. "A thief? Are you kidding?"

Mitsuhiko shook his head, but then smiled. "But he's not a normal thief. Because Kaitou Kid never keeps what he steals."

"That doesn't make sense…"

"But that's why he's so interesting, Conan-kun!" Ayumi put it earnestly. "He's a magician, and he puts on these big night-time magic shows for people! And he never, EVER lets anyone get hurt! He's even saved people before!"

"He always plays really funny pranks on the policeman, and dyes their hair and stuff…oh! And he can break any lock and steal any gem," Genta added.

"But he always returns the gems, either that night or the next day."

Conan was lost in thought. Something about these absurd patterns, totally nonsensical for a thief-or any criminal for that matter-intrigued him.

"But anyway, Kaitou Kid always puts out his heist notices as puzzles, as codes to work out, and they apparently keep the police baffled a lot of times, but we like to try when we can get a hold of them!" Mitsuhiko said, grinning.

"And he's never been caught? Even though he makes these public announcements?"

Ayumi shook her head, smiling. "No, but there is one person who came close to catching him a few weeks ago! It was in all of the papers!"

"Oh yeah? Who was that?"

"A high school detective-our senpai! Kudou Shinichi-oniisan!" Ayumi chirped happily, and Conan's stomach turned several flips.

"O-oh, yeah?" _Well, sounds like I could ask Kaito-niichan about this for more information, but…wait a minute…he gets sad whenever I mention Shinichi-niichan, so…maybe I should just figure it out on my own for now…_ Looking up, he switched the topic slightly, though he was still really interested in the thief. "Well, actually, Kaito-niichan is really good at writing puzzles and codes, himself! He wrote one for me last night, so if you guys want, I'll ask him to make us some for our training! You think?"

"YEAH!" Ayumi, Mitsuhiko and Genta cheered together. Conan grinned back at them, and the bell rang to mark the end of recess.

The second-half of the day was moderately uneventful. But more and more, Conan began to realize that…well, he just didn't find _anything _they were working on challenging in the least. On the contrary, it all seemed absurdly easy, to the point that he half-wondered if the teacher was pulling his leg, but looking around, the other students all seemed intent and seriously fixed on the work… he frowned. Had he gone to some super-prep school when he was younger? Or had he been home schooled? Why did all of this seem so basic to him?

It occurred to him, though, that he should try to fit in, and so, he slowed his pace, purposefully taking longer than necessary to complete the simple grammar exercises…when Kobayashi-sensei had stopped staring at him like an animal in the zoo, he relaxed, feeling that he'd won a small victory. But he felt odd…he didn't like having to hide, or disguise his intelligence…that was wrong, wasn't it? But he was worried about being put in a different class if he showed off too much… and right after he'd finally made some real friends, the last thing he wanted was to be separated from them. And so, he continued to indicate the subject and direct objects of similarly structured sentences over and over and over again…

Everything was fine until Kobayashi announced that, since they had the time, they would work on multiplication tables for the last bit of class. "Okay, guys! I know we've only just begun working on this, but just do your best! Conan-kun, are you going to surprise us again?" She winked at him and he just chuckled awkwardly in reply.

"So…1 x 6 is…?"

"SIX!" the class cheered out in unison.

"Good! And…2 x 2 is..?"

…it continued like this for a while, and Kobayashi then said, "Wonderful job, everyone, you really have it down! Soon you'll be able to answer any question, whether it's…5 x 5 is…?"

"Twenty-five!"

"7 x 2 is…?"

"14!"

"Or… 134 x 23...?"

"3082" a lone voice answered unhesitatingly.

The room went silent. "Um…w-what did you say?" Kobayashi-sensei stuttered, turning to the boy whose face was reddening more and more with each passing second.

"Um…I think that's right…134 x 23, I mean…I think it's 3082..."

Blinking at him in silent shock, Kobayashi-sensei gulped and moved back to grab her calculator. After typing in a few numbers, she looked up and said, faintly, "It is…"

[Note: I do not own Matilda!]

The room was dead silent, and Conan just stuttered around, trying to distract attention from himself, but that wasn't working very well. A few kids in the back started muttering about his being a 'show-off' and Conan cringed a little, but just as the teacher was gathering her bearings to step-in, Genta's voice piped up angrily from behind him. "Hey, you don't know what you're talking about! Just because Conan studies harder than you do! If you have something to say, tell us on the soccer field!"

The kid just gulped and nodded his head, and Genta looked back, giving Conan a thumbs-up sign, which he returned with an appreciative smile.

After that, nothing else out-of-the-ordinary happened, and soon they began to pack up their things. "Um, Conan-kun?" Kobayashi-sensei said from behind as he was walking with the Shounen Tantei towards the exit of the school building.

"Yes, sensei?"

"Could I talk with your guardian, do you think? I mean, is he coming to pick you up? I was thinking that you might be happier in a higher class, Conan-kun, where the material will be more at your level."

Turning to face her suddenly, Conan said "Will I be separated from Ayumi-chan and the rest?"

"Oh, well yes, you'd have to be…"

"Then…I refuse. Thanks for asking, Sensei, but…I really want to stay in their class, if that's okay."

Catching on to what was happening, his little brigade stepped up to stand around him for support, each putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Sensei, please don't take Conan-kun out of our class!" Ayumi cried, pleadingly.

"Yeah, sensei, he just got here, and I'm sure there's something he can learn in our class!"

"And how can I protect him from bullies if he's not nearby?"

Melting under their determined expressions, Kobayashi-sensei turned to Conan and smiled genuinely. "It's your choice, Conan-kun. Do you really want to stay in my class, even though it will probably be kind of boring for you?"

Conan nodded. "Please, Sensei…isn't there something we can do…? I really do want to stay…"

She smiled and stepped forward. "Well, then, there's nothing else for it. I'll just have to give you extra work. How would that be? That way I can gauge your level even if you're in my class with the other kids. You still have to do their work, but if you finish early, you can do other stuff as well…"

He smiled up at her and said "Yeah! Thanks so much, sensei! That's a great idea! Well, I'll see you tomorrow!"

And with a bow and a wave, he and the others ran out, leaving a very mystified teacher behind. Smiling, she set to work thinking of a selection of books of varied levels up through sixth grade to test the young prodigy in her class…

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

"Kaito-niichan!"

"Co-chan!"

At the sight of his little charge happily racing his friends, book bag jangling cheerfully, towards where he stood at the school gates, he grinned and ran forward to sweep Conan up in a tight hug. Genta snickered a little down below at the display, and Kaito and Conan stuck their tongues out at him in unison, earning a laugh from everyone involved.

"So…" Kaito started after setting Conan back down and mussing the boys' hair (and giving Ayumi a little carnation) as they walked through the school gates to begin their trip home, "How was school?"

"It was…" Conan began.

"Conan-kun's a genius, Kaito-oniichan!" Ayumi chirped.

"Yeah, he's read _Taketori Monogatari_ in classical-in the original-and that's at LEAST Junior high-school level!" Mitsuhiko exclaimed.

"And he instantly told the teacher the answer to a crazy difficult math problem that she needed a calculator to answer!" Genta finished, laughing a little at the memory.

Kaito stared at them… "Are you…serious?" He looked at Conan, who looked slightly embarrassed and nervous who said… "I..I'm not sure why I did and said that stuff, but it…I know it's weird and…"

Kaito then whisked in front of him, and crouched down to stop him in his path. "Oi, Co-chan, am I hearing you correctly? Don't tell me you're _ashamed _of how brilliantly you performed in class today."

"Well, I didn't want to draw attention to myself, but I kept answering things in weird ways and…"

"And I told you, Conan!" Genta said, his voice filling with sudden annoyance. "Anyone who wants to bother you about it can deal with me!"

The two 'brothers' smiled at him, but Kaito then returned to considering Conan seriously. When the Shounen Tantei waved bye at a particular intersection, Kaito promising to write them some puzzles for Conan to bring them the next day, he quickly grasped Conan's hand protectively, but didn't say much for a few minutes as they walked.

"Did the other kids give you a hard time, Co-chan?" Kaito finally asked, softly.

"Not really," Conan responded, smiling at him. "They weren't bad. I think I freaked the teacher out most of all, to be honest…she…she asked if I wanted to switch classes…move up a few grades."

Kaito's eyes widened. "Are you serious? Wow…what did you say?"

"I refused," Conan said, voice gaining strength as he grinned the answer to Kaito. "Honestly…the work is too easy, but…I don't think it would be worth moving up to third or fourth grade if I had to leave Ayumi-chan and the rest to do it. They're the best thing about school so far, after all…"

"I see…" Kaito considered him, smiling and watching him raptly as if he were seeing him for the first time. "That's a very adult decision, Conan-kun, and I don't think it's a wrong decision, but…"

"But if I want to fit in I'll still probably have to pretend, right, niichan?"

Kaito just stared at him, not wanting to say 'yes' even though, honestly, that was the sad truth. If he wanted to fit in, it probably would be best for him to tone it down a little in-class…

"I wish you didn't have to, Co-chan…it, it sucks, having to pretend to be less than you are, or something you're not, and you should NOT have to do that." Kaito's voice began to well-up with emotion. "Honestly, don't restrain yourself too much, okay? Just think about it as part of your practice to be a magician."

"Hm? What do you mean, niichan?"

Kaito grinned. "It's something my dad taught me," his voice softened and he began to look up at the sky as he continued. "That no matter what, you should 'never forget your poker-face.' Do you understand?"

"So, it's like a mask you can turn on and off, to stop others from reading you?"

"Exactly…it's been…helpful to me, I'll just say…but at the same time, I mean, though I can understand, Co-chan, your not wanting to stand out…because I'm the same way, or I have been before...tempted to hide, that is... you can't forget to be honest to yourself. That's something Shinichi taught me," he added.

Conan looked up at him in concern, but smiled when Kaito didn't seem upset at the thought. His expression, in fact, had a hint of pride clear in it.

"But you already have three really good friends, and you have me, and you know you don't have to hold anything back around us, Co-chan, so…you'll be fine. Think of it as a game-while at school, you can turn on the act, pretend that it's a performance, but as soon as you leave the school walls, or as soon as you meet eyes with your friends, you can throw away that stage make-up! Think you can do that?"

Conan nodded in understanding, gripping Kaito's hand more firmly. "Yeah..." After a minute of silence, he suddenly turned to Kaito and said, "You know you can tell me anything, too, right?"

Starting a little bit at the way he looked at him when he asked him this, like a friend, an equal... Kaito smiled. "Yeah, Conan-kun, I do know that." Resting his hand in Conan's hair, he said a quiet 'thanks,' finding himself once again entranced by the boy's movements, so casual yet meaningful…he really walked like a tiny adult more than a child. Kaito shook his head at the silly thought.

"Hey, niichan?"

"Oh, yeah?"

Turning to grin up at him, Conan made a little face. "I think I need to read something a little bit better than the stuff they gave me at school. I feel like tons of brain cells died today!"

Kaito laughed and hoisted him onto his shoulder. "Is that so? Well, my little genius-kun…what do you say to stopping by the library on the way home? You can pick any book, and we can read it before bed. How does that sound?"

Sighing happily and latching his arms around Kaito's neck, Conan mumbled into his hair, "that sounds perfect."

* * *

><p>Weird place to end, perhaps? Sorry that this wasn't as KaiCo heavy...but there's plenty to come ;D<p>

Also, I'm publishing this super-late, so there MAY WELL be errors. Which I will fix. Soon. But I hope you enjoy it pretty much as it is!

Thanks again for reading and please let me know what you think!

tess4aria


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4: No Matter Where You Are...**_

First of all...THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU...for your reviews last chapter! I'm so glad you guys seemed to like it ;D It was definitely fun to write!

And now, we have a slightly more KaiCo-heavy chapter...with other elements ;) Note: I have actually been writing ahead for this story, so I have some scenes I'm anxious to post which don't come until later...but we'll get there! Please be just a tad patient ;)

I do not own Meitantei Conan~

Please **_R&R~!_** Thanks so much and enjoy~~~! :D

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

Kaito watched the little boy, who was normally so mature-so shockingly mature for his age-skip along happily, tugging on his hand impatiently, as he clutched his book bag tightly with his other hand. Kaito considered him, thinking how much he'd wanted him to be able to finally relax enough to live normally, happily, so he could just drop his worries and act like a little kid…

Well, he was definitely acting like a kid right now. Undeniably. But ironically, the cause of Conan's childish glee, the reason for which he wasn't able to really explain to his niichan, just shrugging and saying 'it must be a memory thing,' was leading Kaito, once again, to suspect something very irrational… something that had been gnawing at the edge of his mind, at some level of his consciousness, from the first night they'd met each other. Something which undeniably clashed with his image of a_ little boy_.

But now wasn't the time to lose himself in absurd theories. Those eyes, so excited, so unbearably _cute_, were watching him…

"Kaito-niichan? Hey, Kaito-niichan, are you listening?"

Blinking, the magician laughed sheepishly. "Sorry, Co-chan, just uh…heh, just thinking about something dumb! Were you saying something?"

Conan gave him a slightly exasperated glare from below, but then the manic glee took him again. "I was talking about the thematic devices Doyle uses in the dénouement of _The Sign of Four_, of course!" Putting his hand to rest under his chin again, he grinned back at Kaito.

"This is so exciting, niichan! It's like…the memory loss is almost an advantage in this case! I have a feeling I LOVED this book, and I can remember the structural and thematic devices, but the plot and details of the cases are fuzzy, so it'll be like reading a whole new Holmes book, but knowing in advance that I'll love it!" His eyes were literally sparkling as he finished his rant, and Kaito almost choked as he noticed his…nose was …bleeding? What the hell?

"Hey, you okay, there, niichan?"

"Oh, uh, yes, perfectly fine! Don't mind me!" Kaito said overloud. Surreptitiously covering his reaction, unexplainable by anything but some kind of odd change in the weather (_or Conan's Shinichi-like behavior),_ a voice in his head snickered, mentally elbowing him, to which Kaito promptly responded by mentally making use of a certain finger…that once dealt with, he turned to grin down at Conan.

"I'm glad you're excited, Co-chan! Er, can't say I've read too much Holmes myself, though I do know enough. That's kind of an occupational hazard of being close to Shi…Shinichi…" His voice trailed off and he began to stare into space, his poker-face once again showing its tendency to flee at the sight of his new little companion.

Reaching automatically up to take Kaito's hand, Conan moved closer and did his best to put his arm around him. Leaning against him, clutching his hand with his left, he circled his right as far as he could around Kaito's hips, gripping him tightly before saying softly, "I guess there was no word at school?"

Kaito twitched a little under him, but then squeezed Conan more tightly to him and sighed. "No, not yet…I just really hope he's okay…Of course I wish he'd call me, but, really all I care about is his safety." Taking another deep breath, he started, "I wish…" His eyes naturally drifted down to rest on Conan and he felt his tight, tense heart loosening a bit. And then Conan turned to stare straight up at him, and he forgot what else he'd planned to say.

Suddenly, it occurred to Conan just _where _he was holding the magician-just where his right hand had drifted to rest below Kaito's back... Squeaking a little and jumping back, muttering an apology for touching him there, he was cut off by Kaito's face breaking out into a wide grin as he burst into laughter.

"Oh, man, you slay me! Hahaha!" Bending over and holding his stomach, his laughter was so contagious that Conan stopped blushing and joined in, leaning back against him and grabbing his hand, swinging it playfully.

Once the giggles had died down, Kaito grinned at Conan and ruffled his hair, saying "You have a talent, kiddo. Not even Shin-chan can cheer me up that quickly, usually."

"R-really, niichan?"

"Not when I've decided to be grumpy. No sirree, I may not look it, but I've got quite the stubborn streak!"

"Who said you don't look it…niichan?" Conan ended innocently, winking and laughing again.

"Hm, good question…oh, Co-chan?" Kaito said innocently.

"Uh…yeah?" Conan looked a little nervous at Kaito's suddenly sugary voice.

"Would you like another taste of…a tickle attack?" And swooping down, on him, the two ran, laughing and half-screaming, back to the house, collapsing in a single heap in happy exhaustion on the couch once they'd made it through the door.

"Phew…man…niichan, you didn't have to…try that hard…"

"Well, you asked for it, Co-chan! Snarky responses lead to tickle retaliations! It's the way of the world, you know!" Kaito nodded, grinning at the look of amusement (with not even a hint of belief) on Conan's face.

Conan shook his head, smiling, and Kaito tackled him from behind, pulling him in and hugging him to his chest. "Caught you now!" Kaito grinned into his hair, and Conan smiled, relaxing into the warm hold.

As they lounged there, Kaito stretched out and, Conan strapped to him from behind, both looking up at the ceiling, they didn't say much of anything, just taking comfort in the other's presence, perhaps for reasons neither truly understood. All each knew was that they had a lot of worries, a lot of unsettling thoughts circling, but this soft contact, and the feeling of the other, was a source of incredible comfort. Yawning, Conan twisted a little in Kaito's hold until he was facing his chest, and crawled forward a little, gently looping his arms around his neck.

At that moment, he didn't feel like listening to that voice in his head, some tugging instinct he couldn't explain, that demanded he be embarrassed for acting this way. _I'm a kid, after all, and kids hugs their brothers… and besides_…something, somewhere, deeper than that obnoxious feeling which made him want to recoil and take back his personal space, was a pull to be closer to Kaito. Somewhere in him, there was a tug which, currently, aligned perfectly with what he, emotionally, wanted to do…and that was to hug his niichan, to be close to the one person he could remember loving. Who he knew, suddenly, he would do anything for, no matter that he'd only _known _him for a few days…

Kaito's strong, long arms tightened around his back, pulling him even closer, enveloping him in deep, penetrating warmth. Incredible, indescribable comfort…smiling, Conan drifted off to sleep, lightly kissing Kaito's neck where his face was nestled.

At the soft, gentle touch on his neck, Kaito felt a surge of some feeling…something he had felt before, but mixed with newer, less familiar feelings, and he felt an incredible force surging through him, empowering him. Eyes wide, he looked at the little sleeping form in his arms and gently, ever-so-gently, began to stroke his hair. Looking at him this way, it was undeniable. He loved this boy in his arms. Fiercely. It had crept up on him, the growing affection he felt for this boy, but suddenly, he felt it coming to a tangible, verifiable head, and he felt the most powerful, astonishing desire to protect him, to always keep him close. These were some of the feelings Conan's soft little kiss had evoked in him. The brilliant little brother who had appeared out of nowhere to fill a void he hadn't realized would appear. As if he were a gift to keep him sane while Shinichi was away…

Slowly, Kaito leaned down, gently pulling his knees back so he could curl around Conan's little figure more fully. Burying his head in his hair, he breathed in, memorizing his scent before gently kissing his forehead.

Kaito's eyes widened. Burying his head in Conan's hair once again, he breathed in, and then, hesitantly, moved his nose down to the Conan's soft cheek. Kaito's heart began to pound. That smell, that faint, lemony scent…_it's just like **his**…exactly…like **him**_. Leaning back a little, Kaito regarded the sleeping figure in his arms, his peaceful face so perfect, smooth, innocent…and _so much like his_. Exactly like Shinichi had looked all those years ago. Even though it was a little hard for him to remember, since he'd been little as well, he'd seen pictures pretty recently and Conan really…_could he? Could he be?_

That voice in the back of his head again poked its head up, tentatively asking the question that Kaito didn't want asked…_I can't let myself…it's too absurd, and I can't get my hopes up about that…_but were they really even hopes? _If_…and again, it seemed like such a bare-boned, shaky theory that he feared that even expressing it to himself might make it not come true…but hypothetically, if Shinichi really had been…what, shrunk? De-aged? Of course, Kaito would be glad to know he was here, alive, with him…but…but that didn't do anything to change the fact that…again, major IF…that had been the case, he couldn't rightly say Shinichi was _fine_, could he? Changed and memory-less, and what of the people who had done this to him? Would they be after him? Searching for him?

Kaito shuddered at the thoughts, and he automatically pulled Conan closer to him, burying his own face in the little boy's neck, lightly kissing him as he'd been kissed-softly, gently, innocently…simply to say, _I know. I love you, and I'm here for you. I'll never leave you…_

The feeling in his heart was close to pain as he watched the innocent figure. Almost pain. But at the same time, it was something not unlike extreme, intense joy. It was love. And no matter who Conan turned out to be, that wouldn't change…this, he assured himself.

A sound of wings, and three birds flew down into the room, flapping excitedly as they landed lightly and perched on their master's shoulders, cooing and pecking at his cheeks affectionately, one moving to inspect the sleeping boy. "Shush, Kasumi! Don't wake him up!" Kaito whispered to one of the two white-grey doves.

A little movement in his arms indicated that his efforts were in vain, and Conan made a little high-pitched yawn as he stretched on Kaito's chest, blinking up at the visitors. He grinned. "Hey, guys," he said softly, sitting up in Kaito's lap and moving his hand to act as a good perch, as Kaito had taught him to do the other night when he'd introduced him to the great number of doves who made their home in the warm attic of the house.

As a snowy-white dove cooed and happily took him up on his offered perch, Conan grinned, reaching up to pet his soft white feathers. "Hey, there…Sekka, right?"

Kaito was grinning down at them, one hand resting on the other grey-white dove, Kiri, his other stroking Conan's back. "Guess I shouldn't be surprised, Co-chan. You can already tell them apart," he watched him with something of pride mixed with other emotions, some confused, some pained, but many just blissfully happy. Part of him felt that he would be satisfied to just continue this moment, to just stay as they were then and there, Conan safe and content, his eyes wide in that brilliant curiosity as he watched the trio of doves preen and perch, Sekka arching against Conan's hand as he petted him.

Conan smiled at Kaito as he responded. "Well, these three seemed to be some of the least shy," he explained. "so I thought they'd be the most likely to come downstairs when they've only met me once. And Sekka's pretty easy to remember. Only a snow-white dove would be called 'snowflake,' after all, and those two," he said, indicating the smoky white doves on Kaito's shoulder. "They have almost identically hazy colorings, so they're very simple to remember-the twins, Kasumi and Kiri, two words for mist or haze, right?"

Kaito moved his hand up from Conan's back to move through his hair in answer, smiling at him.

Leaning in closer, he whispered, "Dinner for the resident detective?"

Conan's stomach took the hint, growling loudly, and they burst out in laughter, Conan blushing slightly. "Well…guess I won't say no to that."

"I can certainly see that," Kaito winked. "Okay, then, dove-brothers and sisters, let's fly away home and let Co-chan get up!" (The doves were now all three perching variously on Conan's head, arm and shoulder.)

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

The room Kaito had set up for Conan, right across the hall from his, was only slightly smaller than his own and was now entirely child-accessible, supplied with a little step-ladder up to the twin bed, made up with freshly laundered sheets and blankets with little dogs chasing each other around-bloodhounds chasing bull terriers (their fur white with one black circle around the eye)-that he'd found in a trunk under his bed (to which he'd admittedly done a little work on the dog pattern-improvements, only, of course!).

As he and Conan wandered in, nice and stuffed after a wonderful, fishless dinner (Kaito's unfortunate…phobia…had come out, much to the confused amusement of one certain elementary school student), Kaito flipped on the gentle desk light, smiling at the little dog finger puppet (the one Conan had christened Sherlock) propped against it in a place of honor. Setting several pillows in place, Kaito settled himself on the bed, Conan in his lap, revealing Conan's long-awaited book with a flip of his wrist, propping it on his knees before them.

"Erm-hem," Kaito coughed dramatically into his fist, "Are you ready to get those cogs turning?"

"Yeah! Come ooonnnnn, Kaito-niichan, start already! Or do you want me to read it?" His whine stopped on a dime and he turned to smirk up at Kaito.

"No, no, that will be quite unnecessary!" He said in a thick, old-fashioned accent before addressing Conan's first point of interest. "Oh, hai, hai. I'll get to it! Whatever the young Master Holmes would like." Kaito winked and tucked an arm around Conan's chest, pulling him closer as he opened the book. "The Science of Deduction," they read together, and then they met eyes and Conan grinned sheepishly.

"Sorry, I was getting impatient…"

"Yeah, well little impatient boys don't get to read difficult or interesting books! They're stuck watching Blues Clues and other stimulating American television shows!" Kaito winked and Conan rolled his eyes, squirming a little as his eyes began to eagerly track down the first page. Kaito smiled as he watched him. His brilliant little eyes moved _quickly,_ and from the look of them, there wasn't a hint of confusion. He understood every word of it, and he was _enjoying it_. Kaito could almost feel the ecstasy stewing in the boy.

"Woah, now! Don't go so fast! Here, let's begin again…" and propping the book more solidly, Kaito began to read in the kind of clear, resounding voice someone might use to read lines on-stage. "Sherlock Holmes took his bottle from the corner of the mantelpiece, and his hypodermic syringe from its neat morocco case. With his long, white, nervous fingers he adjusted the delicate needle, and rolled back his left shirt-cuff…"

And so on and so forth…

Early on in the reading, Kaito had paused to make some whiney complaints about it being too detective-y, saying that Conan had better realize how much he loved him to do this for him…but he was quickly silenced by a death glare from the little boy in his arms who then began to read it outloud, and Kaito just listened in awe as the boy read it without a single miss. There wasn't a hint of hesitation, not a pause over a particularly difficult word, not a single request for clarification. His voice was crisp, clear, and excited, and the book seemed to be absorbing him, pulling him into its world…and Kaito found himself enjoying Sherlock Holmes for the first time in his life.

Not that he would ever admit that. He had a reputation of being an anti-Holmesian to keep up, after all!

When they reached the third chapter, Kaito demanded they get ready for bed, and grinning at the pout on Conan's face, hopped up to grab him some pajamas, waiting for him to raise his arms (which he did only after rolling his eyes and sighing) so he could help him dress for bed.

"You know, niichan," Conan said, yawning, as Kaito tucked him in. "I can…*yawn* dress my…self…"

"Yes, but then what use would I be? You don't want to take away your appointed niichan's duties, do you?" Kaito bowed his head gravely, and Conan laughed lightly. "Oh, fine…oyasumi, niichan…"

"Oyasumi," Kaito smiled at him, quickly bending down to kiss his forehead lightly, smiling into the wide blue eyes which met his as he pulled back. "Just a goodnight kiss!" Kaito grinned at him. "Sleep tight! Don't let the bed bugs bite~"

Watching the door long after Kaito had left through it, Conan smiled to himself as the warm feeling of the little kiss on his forehead kept him company until he drifted off…

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

School the next day was much of the same, though Kobayashi-sensei had greeted Conan in the morning with an armload of books for him to go through and decide which seemed to be just around the right level.

Conan was honestly curious, but almost as soon as he'd grabbed the first two anthologies, labeled for third and fourth-grade reading levels, he had a pretty strong hunch that they would be nothing next to the Holmes book he'd read so easily the night before…and he was right, of course. By lunch-time, having quickly read through several short stories in the two anthologies he'd grabbed, he returned them for the fifth and sixth-grade anthologies, smiling at and politely ignoring the wince this evoked from his teacher.

"Conannn-kun!"

"Oh, yeah?"

"That looks really hard, that book…is that what you're going to be reading in class, now?"

"Hm…maybe," Conan responded, smiling at her, as he paged through the sixth-grade anthology. _To be honest, this still feels too simple…bizarre…but I guess I shouldn't push it. If I ask for anything higher, sensei might just force me to go to another class. _"I think I'll probably be reading this, Ayumi-chan," he said, grinning at her. "But so…what do you guys normally do at recess?" He asked, looking around at the schoolyard.

The four of them had once again settled down for lunch under the shade of a small tree around the side of the building where they could talk more privately. Genta had pushed two kinds of onigiri (umeboshi and konbu) on Conan, but neither helped him to remember much of anything, so the group was feeling somewhat let down until Conan reached into his pocket to reveal a slip of paper with a little winking, spiky-haired face in the bottom right-hand corner. "Do you guys want to try niichan's code?"

They had brightened up instantly at that, and the three had set to work trying to decode it while Conan had settled down to lazily look over his anthology. He'd taken a short glance at the code earlier, but it had been far easier than what Kaito had given him so far (_except maybe the first one, _Conan mused) and he felt a little happy sensation in his chest that his niichan obviously thought pretty highly of his puzzle-solving ability.

When about fifteen minutes were left until they had to go back to class, they had pretty much solved it, and Ayumi had turned her sights back to Conan.

"What do you like to play, Conan-kun?"

"Hm…well, we never did play soccer together…"

At that, the boys were wrenched from the puzzle-Mitsuhiko having just solved it, anyway, though Genta still looked somewhat frustrated with it-and Conan suddenly found himself being pushed and pulled towards a closet in the side of the school building where different balls and things were kept.

"You kids realize you don't have much time," the burly and strict, but nice-underneath-it-all gym instructor told them.

"We know, Tawada-sensei, but we're just really quickly going to test Conan's soccer skills," Genta explained excitedly.

Sparing a slight smile for Conan, who returned it shyly, the gym teacher said "Fine. But make sure you kids return the ball before class."

"Hai!"

And grabbing it as if it were a long-sough-after treasure, Genta led the troop out to the field.

"Okay, so…you remember the rules, Conan?"

Conan thought about it, and shrugged. "Let's just start playing. Soccer just sounds so familiar, I bet it'll make sense once we get into it."

"Fine by me, less time talking, more time playing!" And with that, Genta ran back to guard one of the goals they had specified with various odd sticks and stones, and once Mitsuhiko had gone to stand by the other, he kicked it. The kick had a good amount of force, and though the aim wasn't great, it had enough height that Conan thought he could get a pretty good head-ball in. _Hm…head-ball? Well, guess it's another memory thing…funny how words will come to me when I'm not conscious of them…it's like my brain and mind aren't connected or something…oh, does that even make sense?_

The kids were vaguely concerned when Conan zoned off, but his reflexes when he snapped back to the present were so fast, that was quickly wiped clean from their minds. The instant the ball hit the ground, Conan caught it in a graceful, fast, controlled dribble that looked not unlike a dance. A smirk widening on his face, he looked up to where Genta was guarding the goal, arms stretched wide. _Silly Genta, I can see exactly what you're going to do…oh well, it's a game, after all!_ And he kicked it, with shocking force for his small form, but what was shocking was not the force, but the aim.

The ball moved wherever he wanted it to, exactly as he commanded it to. He felt so in control of it, as if he were discovering a new way to walk he'd always been able to do, but had just never tried, or had forgotten. It felt so natural to play soccer like this. He grinned as the ball swished neatly through the 'goal posts.'

"Awesome," his friends said from around him. Genta's annoyance at the ball getting past him had been over-ridden by just how incredible Conan's shot had been. Grinning, they shot a few more goals, Conan taking turns as goalie, deciding, after Genta's fourth failed attempt to get it past him, to pretend to fumble it.

He then decided that seeing his friends grinning like that was worth a whole lot of fumbled balls and missed saves.

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

After school, Kaito was waiting for him, but there was someone else with him. A familiar-looking girl…

"Hi, Conan-kun!" She sang out cheerfully, grinning and crouching down to wave at him from beside Kaito.

"Oh, you're…oh yeah! Ran-neechan, right?"

"Oh, you remembered me!" She beamed at him. "Your niichan and I were just talking about you, so I decided to tag along. We didn't get to know each other that well the other day, after all!"

"Oh yeah, sorry about that, oneechan, I was kind of…funny that night…"

A sad smile washed over her face and she shook her head. "You don't have anything to apologize for, sweetie! But I was thinking we might go and get a snack and talk a little. Would that be okay, Kaito-kun?" Ran smiled up at Kaito, who nodded, stepping forward to muss Conan's hair a little bit.

"How about it?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Oh! Who are your friends?"

Turning around instantly, Conan laughed in slight embarrassment. "Oh, sorry, everyone…um, Ran-neechan, these are my friends, Ayumi-chan, Genta-kun and Mitsuhiko-kun. Guys, this is niichan's friend from school, Ran-neechan!"

After an enthusiastic chorus of "yoroshiku onegaishimasu!" from the kids, Ran decided to open the invitation to include them, with the end result that four kids were bouncing down the side-walk, Ran and Kaito walking behind, smiling at them, as they headed for the ice cream parlor Ran had mentioned.

"It's great to see he's doing so well," Ran said, smiling.

"Yeah…" Kaito smiled at the shortest of the little-kid troup, hands in his pockets, the little stubborn poof of hair on his head sticking up as always, yet _another_ constant reminder of the one person who would have completed this picture… Smiling at Ran, Kaito said, "He's…incredible, Ran-chan, I can't tell you… if, if he hadn't found me that night, I feel…"

"Found you?" Ran tilted her head inquisitively, and Kaito laughed.

"It feels that way," he said honestly. "It's like, almost as if he'd known how much I would need someone…he's, there's something about him, and I'm not saying this just because he's a damn chibified Shinichi…but he has this awesome spirit, and he just, whenever I start to worry, whenever my worries about Shinichi start getting to me, he has this incredible sense of what exactly to do to cheer me up. And it makes me so happy to make him happy, Ran-chan, I can't tell you."

She smiled back at him. "Jealous…" she said softly, but then winked at him. "No, I'm mostly kidding, but I'd love to have a little brother of my own, you know? To watch over, to watch over me in return, to look after and to play with…" She sighed.

"Well, Co-chan and I can just drop by a lot, how would that be? You're welcome at our place, too, you know," he smiled.

She looked at him and returned the smile plus-some. "Thank you…I guess…well, I'm worried, but I'm also… I know it's selfish, but I feel so useless, and I feel like all I've been doing recently is waiting to hear something from him, and…I mean, Sonoko-chan's great and all, but Shinichi's my best friend and…" She shook a little and Kaito put his hand firmly on her shoulder.

"Ran-chan. I understand, because I feel the same way…completely useless" He laughed shortly. "If only there were something I could do…I can't help but wonder if I could be there with him, helping him…but," he smiled at her, "This is Shinichi we're talking about. If there's anyone I'd put my trust in, it's that silly detective of ours. And don't you think he'd be pretty mad at us if when he gets home he hears we've been doing nothing with our lives but wait for him? Shinichi wants us to live, Ran-chan," he said, smiling. _Gee, where did those words come from?_ As if he were reading his mind, Conan suddenly turned around and waved at him before returning to whatever conversation he and Mitsuhiko were deeply involved in.

_That's right. I have him. He's why I can be strong and wait…oh, Shinichi…_

Turning back to Ran, he said, "but I mean it, come spend time with me and Co-chan! I promise you," and he put his hand over his heart "That there will be no pranking outside of school grounds!" He winked and she laughed.

"Thanks, Kaito-kun…haha, yeah, I think I'll take you up on that…oh! Guys, this is the place!" Smiling, she pointed to a little ice cream parlor with a white and turquoise awning.

At Kaito's encouraging glance, Ran stepped forward and crouched down next to Conan, who was still standing outside despite his three friends already having raced in, bouncing and chattering a mile-a-minute. "Hey there, Conan-kun! I really hope you like this place!" She grinned at him.

"Oh, I'm sure I will, Ran-neechan, thanks."

"Is there something…on your mind, Conan-kun?"

"I…don't know…" he started quietly. "But this place seems…"

"Maybe you've been here before?" She suggested. He looked at her and she smiled. "It's been here for years. About…seven, already, now that I think about it…Shinichi and I used to go…" she sighed a little, and a ghost of a frown passed over her face before she smiled again.

_She's doing the same thing niichan does, trying to pretend everything's okay, when really… and it's about Shinichi-niichan again. Man, how could he just go off and leave them here like this? Does he even realize how much people miss him?_

Looking back at Ran, he gently took her hand in his and smiled. "I'm sure you're right, neechan. Do you want to go in?" Turning back, he saw Kaito watching him fixedly, smiling. "Niichan, how about you? I'm willing to bet you like ice cream!"

Blinking, Kaito laughed and raced forward to grab Conan's outstretched hand. "You bet I do, chibi tantei-kun!"

Laughing, the three entered the ice cream shop like a little linked train, grabbing a large booth by the window where the kids (who had already ordered, minus Conan), met them.

"They have soooo many flavors!" Ayumi said happily.

"Yeah, and you can order quadruple scoops if you want!"

"Genta-kun, you know that isn't good for you…" Said Mitsuhiko.

"Says who? I think I'm the person who knows my stomach best, and it said quadruple!"

"Bypass," Conan muttered, but then quickly slammed his hands over his mouth when he realized what he'd said.

"What, Conan-kun?" Ayumi asked.

"Uh, no-nothing!"

Kaito was smirking behind him, and Ran looked a little shocked. "His sense of humor…Kaito-kun, didn't he sound just like…"

"Yeah, he does that a lot. I told you he and Shin-chan are twins in more ways than just appearance." He gave her a meaningful glance and she gulped, nodding.

"I…see what you mean…"

When they'd all received their ice cream and returned to their seats, Genta upset at having licked one of his scoops of ice cream onto the floor, 'it's for the best, Genta-kun! You don't want to get sick!' 'No, I just need a spoon and I can get it before it melts!' 'Ew! That's gross!…anyway, after this commotion had passed, Conan settled himself comfortably between Kaito and Ran on one side of the booth, the rest of the Shounen Tantei taking the other side.

"How is it?" Ran asked.

"GREAT!"

"Mmm, this is really good!" Conan smiled after he'd finally taken a bite of his strawberry cone.

"Oh, really? Great, Conan-kun! You know, come to think of it…Kaito-kun, that's Shinichi's favorite flavor, isn't it? Strawberry?"

Kaito didn't answer at first. Watching Conan sitting there, enjoying that cone, just reminded his so much of all of those summers together…when his dad had taken them out after shows. Shinichi would always order strawberry, rolling his eyes at how he (Kaito) would never stray from his favorite chocolate cone…

"_Well, Shin-chan, YOU're the one who always orders that same old, boring STRAWBERRY. YUCK!"_

"_YUCK? You dumb magician! I'll make you regret that!"_

_Somehow, neither of their cones had spilled in the chase around the parlor that had ensued, and Kuroba Toichi, with his usual suave charm, had even made it so the three of them might someday be able to return to the establishment without getting thrown out…_

Kaito drifted out of his thoughts only to be met with the eyes he was just imagining…and Conan was staring at him oddly, but then, his eyes widened, and he turned away, shaking his head before grinning up at him.

_I wonder what that was about?_

The Shounen Tantei decided to take that moment to ambush Kaito with the answers they'd come up with to his puzzle. Half-listening to them, Conan let his eyes wander back to Kaito.

_Weird…a second ago, he…_it was hard to even express it to himself what he'd seen. He'd looked up at Kaito, watching as his niichan clutched his chocolate ice-cream cone, but suddenly, Kaito had changed…well, he was still Kaito, but he was young, a boy his age! Grinning, the boy had taken a huge bite of his ice-cream cone before yelping and clutching his head.

'_Brain freeze?' Conan said. 'You dummy, I TOLD you not to do that…'_

Conan blinked. _That had seemed so…real…what could it mean? Do I have a friend who looks like Kaito-niichan? Or was I combining niichan with a friend of mine? Or…_that's when he'd noticed Kaito staring at him, and he'd quickly tried to hide his temporary zone-out.

After leaving the ice cream place, Ayumi, Mitsuhiko and Genta thanked Kaito and Ran and said their good-byes to Conan before running off, telling him that they had a soccer date after school the next day.

Grinning, Conan turned to smile at the two young adults. "Thanks for the ice cream, Kaito-niichan, Ran-neechan!"

Kaito crouched and gently mussed Conan's hair. "You're silly, you know that? It was fun for us, too!"

Conan grinned at him in answer.

"You have really sweet friends, Conan-kun," Ran said, smiling down at the pair. _Wow, they really do look like brothers…of course, I've said that about Kaito-kun and Shinichi, too, but that's…_she chuckled a little…_not very appropriate, come to think of it. Good thing the worst those two get up to in public is Kaito-kun hanging off of Shinichi and occasionally pecking him on the lips…I'm not sure what kind of awful stares they'd get if they did anything worse…eep! What am I thinking?_

"Ran-neechan, why are you all red?"

"Wh-what? Oh! N-no reason, Conan-kun! It's nothing at all!"

Kaito eyed her in amusement. "Ran-chan…don't tell me you're imagining something…*cough* …less than savory…"

Seeing one of the two objects of her *approaching less than savory* thoughts, Ran blushed some more and Kaito raised an eyebrow. "Wha? Oh, never mind. Women…" he directed the last to Conan, who nodded sagely. Then the two burst out laughing, and Ran joined in.

"Oh, well I should probably get back, you two. Not like dad'll have a case…he hasn't had much business recently…"

"Case?"

Smiling at Conan, Ran said, "Oh, dad's a private detective, Conan-kun! We live in a flat above the agency."

Conan's eyes widened in sudden excitement, and he began to nervously make little motions in the ground with the toes of his shoes. "A detective agency? Really?" Looking back and forth between Ran and Kaito, Conan said "Do you think I could visit some time? Come see it? Do you think I could, niichan? Please?"

"I think that could be arranged, as long as it's okay with Ran-chan."

"Of course!" Ran beamed at Conan. "Conan-kun, of COURSE I'd love to have you! Um, but dad's a little grumpy sometimes, so you might not get that much out of him… but definitely come over! Maybe…maybe not tomorrow, but the next day or the day after that! Does that sound okay?"

Conan nodded enthusiastically, beaming back at her. "Thanks, nee-chan! Can't wait!"

Still holding onto Kaito's hand, he suddenly found his face planted in a large amount of soft, brown hair, gentle arms wrapped around him. When Ran released him, she smiled. "I'll be waiting for you guys, Conan-kun. I'll remind your niichan at school, but don't let him forget, okay? I'm banking on you being the more responsible of the two," she added, giggling.

"Hey!" Kaito pouted.

"Well, bye, you two!" And Ran raced off, leaving the other two on a suddenly quiet street. But not for long.

"Eep!" Conan squeaked as Kaito suddenly hoisted him onto his shoulder. "Niichan?" He tilted his head questioningly.

Grinning and rubbing his thumb along Conan's bare calve where he gripped him with one hand, the other holding him securely around the waist, Kaito said "Well…I was just planning our activities for the evening!"

"Holmes?"

"Ummmm….no." At the instant pout that settled on the boy's face, Kaito laughed. "I'm kidding! We'll read more of your story! But first…nothing goes with ice cream like a good lesson in…" and with a flick of his wrist, one of the doves who lived at home, Yuzu, sprang from nowhere, cooing happily and settling herself on Conan's lap, nuzzling into him as he grinned and smiled at her.

"So…magic lessons are on the agenda?"

"That's my little magician-detective!" Kaito answered, grinning.

Gripping back onto his leg, he smiled as he felt the gentle sensation of Conan's fingers settling into and clutching at his hair. Even if it was just as a way for him to feel secure up on his shoulder, the touch still filled him with that same, lovely warmth that Conan brought to him so naturally…

* * *

><p>Hope you enjoyed it! I'm really into this story right now, so expect more updates in the near future...I hope, at least! I actually DON'T have the next chapter written, though the following few are pretty much ready...<p>

I hope you guy slike how I'm setting up/developing the whole Conan/Kaito relationship. I realize there wasn't a WHOLE lot of development that way in this chapter, but there will be.

Anyway, thanks for reading! Please review! THANKS SO MUCH!

tess4aria


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5: Evidence Mounting**_

First of all...THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS. YOU GUYS ROCK.

We have, once again, a LONG chapter...hope it isn't exhausting! :)

Note! I know my Kogorou is a little OOC, but here's my reasoning: if you look at episode 2 of the series, when he first meets Conan (before his unchildlike intelligence/behavior comes out, he's all happy to take him on as his protégé, thinking he can admire him, be influenced by him, and all-around be the kind of son to appeal to the man. It's all about ego, and anyone who strokes Kogorou's is ok in his book. Hence my decisions to draw him as I do…so, with that in mind, I hope I've done a believable job. Not so sure… but let me know! :D

**_Please R&R~! Thanks so much!_**

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

Kaito and Conan were snuggled on the living-room couch, full after devouring a large pizza together and currently enjoying a Godfather marathon, when the phone rang. Grumbling and apologizing to Conan, who cheerfully waved him off, pausing the film with the remote and happily settling down with _The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, _Kaito rolled his eyes good-humouredly and went to pick up the phone. _Who could it be at this hour?_

"Moshi moshi?"

"Kaito-kun?"

"Oh yeah, who is…" Kaito froze. He _knew_ that voice. Really well…but…he'd never heard it sound this way. The normally enthusiastic, overjoyed, overly childish woman he associated that voice with was now dulled, dimmed…and though she sounded happy enough, he could hear poker-face set on full speed…and this woman was nothing if not an actress.

"Yu-Yukiko-obasan?"

"Yes, it's…HEY. WHAT…did you just call me?"

With a little squeak, Kaito quickly corrected himself. "Uh, I mean…um, neechan! Yeah, Yukiko-neechan! Uh, is that…?"

He relaxed when he heard the woman laugh on the other end, and he joined in. When she spoke again, her voice sounded a little less tense, but there was still a whole world of fear she was hiding, he could feel it. "Oh, thanks, Kaito-kun, I didn't know I'd be able to laugh like that, right now…"

His face tightened, and the smile slid off. "Yeah, um…I guess you…" he gulped. "You haven't heard from…?"

"No," she said quietly. "I…assumed you hadn't either, but…Kaito-kun, I've been in touch with Agasa-hakase and Ran-chan, but do you know…anything…do you have any idea where he might have gone? Did you see anyone suspicious or…?"

Her voice broke off, and the line went silent for a minute before the voice of Kudou Yuusaku picked up. "Sorry about that, Kaito-kun, Kiko's just…" He sighed, a low and weary sound that made Kaito's heart clench.

"No, of course, Kudou-san, I understand…"

"To be honest, I'm…not in much better shape, but…" he sighed again. "Sorry to bother you like this, son, but I thought, maybe Shinichi would have contacted you if no one else…"

"Oh…I'm really sorry, Kudou-san, but I-I haven't spoken to him since that Friday after school…I think Ran-chan's the last person to have seen him."

"Yeah, that's what we figured." He sighed again. "Look, Kaito-kun, Shinichi is perfectly capable of taking care of himself, and I'm sure that whatever mess he's gotten himself into, that he'll make it out…"

"Yeah, I know he will, Kudou-san. It's just…I feel so useless not being able to do anything," he laughed, harshly. "Did…did you put out a missing person's report or anything?"

Yuusaku was silent for a minute before saying, "I've been debating it, but this is Shinichi and…"

"And maybe he's really gotten himself into something? And it might endanger him?"

"I don't know. It's a touchy situation, but on the off-chance, it's possible that Shinichi is lying low, trying to keep his identity a secret…"

"That does sound like Shinichi, alright…"

"Yes. That's why I've been hesitating on that front. I…know he's young, but I trust Shinichi completely. I know that, wherever he is, he's doing everything he can to return to us."

Kaito smiled, closing his eyes, as he leaned one hand against the wall in front of him. "Yeah…and we have to trust him, Kudou-san. We just have to…and…and I do. I'm sure he's fine, and he'll be back in no time…"

Kaito felt a gentle touch wrap around his leg. Looking down, he met Conan's brilliant blue eyes staring up at him in concern, but rather than asking Kaito to reassure him he was fine, he was simply there for him, there to support him, smiling up at him in gentle, wise understanding. Bending down, Kaito hugged Conan with one arm as he clutched the phone to his ear.

When Yuusaku spoke again, his voice sounded almost back to normal. "Have you been doing okay, Kaito-kun?"

Clutching Conan more tightly to him, he smiled. "I'm doing just fine, Yuusaku-san. I miss Shinichi, but I know he'll be back. We're just waiting for him to come home…"

"We?"

"Oh! Actually…" Smiling at Conan, Kaito continued, "Seems I've found myself a little brother."

After giving Yuusaku the basics of how, why, when and what had happened since he'd met Conan that night, at some point the conversation widening to include a suddenly once-again enthusiastic Yukiko, Kaito chuckled. "You guys would love him. He's just like a mini-Shin-chan! And I'm not kidding!"

"Oh, really?" Yukiko basically squealed into the phone. "Can I talk to him? Can you put him on speaker phone?"

"Well…" Looking a little nervously at Conan, the boy, who could hear much of what the high-pitch squeals were saying from where he stood anyway, tilted his head to the side and shrugged. "One sec," Kaito said to the Kudous.

"They're Shinichi's parents," he explained unnecessarily, and Conan nodded.

"Yeah, I guessed that."

"Yes, and…they're quite odd…"

"WHAT?" An indignant voice shrilled from the receiver.

"Oops! Aw, just kidding um, Yukiko-uh-neechan!" Covering the receiver, he leaned down to Conan. "See what I mean? But…" and he smiled. "If you don't mind, it might comfort them to talk to you. At least Shinichi's mom's kind of…crazy about being, well, a mom and…"

Conan smiled and reached for the phone. "Um, moshi moshi?" He said slightly hesitantly.

The voice that responded was much gentler than it had been before, but even more excitement was clearly bubbling right below the surface."

"Why, hello, there, Conan-chan! Wow, you even sound like Shin-chan used to! "

"Oh, uh, really?"

"Really, really. Anyway, darling, I'm Kudou Yukiko, but you can just call me obachan, okay? I figure you're young enough that I can be your auntie without it being too insulting. Especially if you look like my Shin-chan! Oh, but how is it living with Kaito-kun? He isn't turning your hair blue, I hope?"

Conan raised an eyebrow. "Um, no, obachan, he's…he's not doing anything like that. He's really great…"

"Well, Conan-chan, Yuusaku (ojisan to you) and I are flying back to Japan in a few days to keep our eyes out for our wayward son, so when we do, we can meet each other! You know, part of me regrets not having had another child, poor Shin-chan seemed so lonely sometimes as an only child, but this'll be almost like having another son! Oh, this is so exciting!" Her voice faded a little as she moved away from the phone and a male voice took over.

"Hi, Conan-kun, this is Kudou Yuusaku. I hear you're interested in detective novels?"

"Oh, well, yeah, Yuusaku-san, or um, ojisan…I'm still not sure of everything, but I've read the _Sign of Four_ and I'm reading the _Red-Headed League_ right now…"

Yuusaku clucked his tongue in approval. "And you're what…? Seven? That's quite impressive, Conan-kun. Well, I'll tell you what. I'm not sure if Kaito-kun's told you anything about me, but I'm actually a writer of mystery novels, myself, and we have a pretty good collection in our library, so feel free to take as many as you want, anytime you want."

"Really?" Conan's voice leaped several octaves in his sudden excitement. Even though his first night was fuzzy, he could vaguely remember the towering shelves of books in that library as he'd skimmed around to try to think of a name for himself…and to think, he could have full access to everything that library offered! "That would be…I mean, thank you! Really!"

Yuusaku chuckled. "You really are…"

"Sorry?"

"Shinichi's always been a pretty serious guy, ever since he was little…but if there's one thing that'll get him acting as enthusiastic and excitable as anyone else, it's a good mystery novel. Anyway, we'll be flying in on Friday night, so maybe the next day we could stop by and take you two out? I don't suppose you've figured out too many of your favorite foods yet?"

"Uhm, I really like coffee, and…strawberry ice cream is good, but…everything else, I've liked, but I haven't found much that's seemed like a favorite food or anything…"

Yuusaku seemed to hesitate for a second. "Coffee and strawberry ice cream, huh?" After a few seconds, he spoke again. "Well, we'll just have to surprise you, then." His voice softened to a whisper. "Oh, and Conan-kun? Just a word of warning. My wife's most likely going to try to steal you away as her own, but she's mostly harmless, so don't let her get to you too much." Conan could practically see the man wink through the phone, and he chuckled in response.

"Thank you, Kudou-san, or uh, Yuusaku-ojisan. And thanks for the library thing. I'm really looking forward to that."

"Great. Well, I'll see you."

Before Conan could hand the phone back to Kaito, there was another squeal in his ear. "Oh, and Co-chan? Think about anything you might want, because I'm taking you shopping when we get there!"

Conan gulped. Somehow, that idea didn't thrill him. "Oh, uh…thanks, Obachan…"

"Oh, you're so sweet! Okay, well tell your oniichan we say bye! See you soon, sweetie!"

And with that, the line cut.

Conan sighed deeply. "Why do I feel so exhausted?" He asked, half-to-himself. Kaito chuckled.

"You just had a dose of what Shinichi's had to deal with his whole life," he answered, grinning.

"Well, they seemed really excited, so…that's good, I guess…"

"Yeah, they really turned around when I told them about you." Kaito crouched down and smiled at him. "Think of it as your good deed of the day. You made two worried parents forget about their troubles for a little." His eyes glinted at him.

Conan smiled. "I'm...glad."

"Well, then, Co-chan, how about bath-time?"

"Niichan, why are you always so excited about that?"

Kaito blinked and twiddled his thumbs. _He's right. Why AM I so excited about it?_

"Ah well," Conan yawned. "We get to read more Holmes afterwards, right?"

"Hai, Hai. Fair enough, you mystery addict, you," Kaito winked at him before scooping him up in his arms, and laughing, he raced up the stairs with his precious cargo.

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

_What were those science-fictiony things that liked to gnaw on people's brains? Earwigs_? Kaito leaned towards his bathroom mirror, turning his head so he could peer into his ear, checking it for any unwelcome intruders with his index finger.

"Nope, all clean, I suppose," he chuckled a little at his joke, but then sighed and stepped back, dropping to the floor to lean against the bathroom wall. So many things had been happening recently that had taken his normal-well, relatively normal…it's all a matter of perspective-life and thrown a few heavy wrenches in.

First of all, Shinichi. Kaito knew how brilliant his detective was-knew it better than almost anyone…but knowing him so well, he also knew his limitations. He knew he was human, and he was stubborn, and could be hot-headed, and had the tendency to abandon all else when his passion for deduction took over.

So no matter how Kaito wanted to convince himself that Shinichi was completely capable of getting himself out of any scrape he might land himself into, this only offered him a thin, temporary sheen of comfort, a veil of unsubstantiated hope which grew weaker every day. But still…he was Shinichi, and if there was anyone capable of pulling off a miracle, escaping and returning stronger despite all odds, it was his best friend and boyfriend. And, as much as it ate away at him, there wasn't anything he could do to help.

It occurred to him that if Shinichi had wanted to contact him, he, resourceful as he was, would have found a way. That he hadn't contacted him suggested only one of several options, but the one Kaito clung to was that he was in hiding for some reason. For some reason, he was forced not to make contact with his friends and family. And though this didn't sit well with Kaito, the alternative explanations which came to mind were too unthinkable to dwell on at all. _No way. I just have to trust him. What do we have if we can't trust each other, anyway?_

And then there was his other great focus as of recently. The brilliant little boy who had magically popped up as if from nowhere, just as Shinichi had vanished from his life. Filling an emptiness in him at Shinichi's absence before it had struck, Conan had eased his way into Kaito's life so quickly, so naturally, it was mind-boggling. And yet it didn't feel strange at all that within a few short days, Conan had become one of the most important people in his life.

Things he loved about Co-chan…_let me count the ways_… First of all, he was brilliant. Absolutely. But not just intelligent, but clever, quick-witted. Though he was somewhat clumsy at first, he'd begun to soak up magic tricks like a sponge once he'd learned the basics. And the happy, childish excitement flashing in his eyes as he solved a new puzzle, oftentimes as quickly as Kaito could make them for him, or how he begged him to read Holmes with him before bed…

Kaito had quickly found himself a slave to those eyes. To keeping those penetrating, beautiful blue eyes happy. Because too often, when he left Conan alone for too long, or when he would zone off, lost in what seemed to be the clawing, tempting hint or shadow of a memory, his eyes would darken, and it would seem almost as if someone older were looking out through them. As if they were windows to the true person, hidden in the guise of Conan.

These were some of the thoughts which had been circling since he'd met him, a little less than a week ago…And he was undeniably curious about Conan's life, about who he was…but at the same time, he'd begun to care more about just keeping him happy, keeping that childlike sparkle in his eyes, than almost anything. He felt this burning need to do whatever it took to keep him smiling, even if doing so wasn't necessarily the fastest path to helping him find his memories…

And part of it, he guiltily admitted to himself, was that while it pained him to see Conan look so extra-wise, so overly-mature, his desire to keep that look out wasn't just for Conan's sake. Every time the little boy's eyes met his straight on, when he looked like that, Kaito would feel as if a sharp knife were wedging through his heart, digging out his insecurities and bringing them to the forefront. For when he looked into those eyes, he _couldn't help_ but think of Shinichi.

And how he hadn't contacted him. Even once.

And then another wrench was thrown in which turned things even more upside-down, supporting a possible solution which only confused him more, made it all the more topsy-turvy. It was a notion which had come to him before, which continued to bob its head mockingly before him, and had continued to do so more and more…_but it just couldn't be_…

He'd put Conan to sleep a few hours before, and had only just drifted off to sleep himself, his uneasy thoughts chasing each other around in circles…

_***~Flashback~***_

"Niichan? Kaito-niichan?"

A soft voice and gentle tug on his shoulder wrenched him from his fitful sleep. His eyes widened in surprise and concern when he noticed the uncharacteristic shakiness of his visitor, the boy who was normally so independent, never sparing a thought for monsters under the bed or the like.

"Conan-kun? What is it? Is everything okay?" Sitting up and leaning forward, he put his hands gently on the boy's shoulders, looking at him closely.

"I was wondering if I could…well, I can't sleep and…"

Blinking before smiling widely at him, Kaito scooted back and pulled up the covers welcomingly. "Come on in, Co-chan! You didn't even have to ask!"

"O-okay…" Hesitantly, Conan clambered up onto the bed and slipped in beside Kaito, the covers settling on top of him instantly along with Kaito's arm, instantly pulling him close to his chest. For a while they just stayed there, Conan's shakiness wearing off bit by bit as Kaito gently moved his fingers through his feather-like hair.

"What's wrong Co-chan? Did you have a bad dream?" he asked quietly, one arm firmly around the little boy's stomach while the other continued to play with his hair.

After staying silent for a minute, Conan slowly nodded. "They're…my dreams are weird, niichan…they don't really make sense."

Kaito raised an eyebrow at this. Though he hadn't known him for long, he knew that Conan wasn't like most kids who might find any number of everyday things odd. For something to unnerve Conan, it definitely deserved his attention. "What do you mean?" He asked quietly.

Conan sighed a little. "Every night, I've been getting the same feeling," he started, softly. "And it's all fuzzy to me now, even though some images stick…but I feel…when I'm asleep, everything feels so right…so full…like the blank spots in my mind aren't there. Everything I want to remember I can, and it's simple. I barely have to think about…anything…and it comes to me. But whenever I wake up, I've forgotten everything again… it's like every night I remember things in my dreams, but then it all slips away again and it's…really…" He shivered and Kaito pulled him closer, nuzzling his head, making comforting little noises into his hair.

"But the only thing I've been able to remember that I know for sure is that a lot of times the ground seems really…far away in my dreams."

"The ground seems far away?" Kaito stopped his ministrations to Conan's hair for a minute to consider the cryptic statement. "So maybe you're always somewhere high-up in your dreams?"

"But it isn't like being high on a building, just…it looks like when you hold me, niichan. That kind of distance."

Kaito considered him, running through possibilities, but many of the ideas which popped into his head made no sense, so he filed them away for possible later consideration. "Maybe you have your own niichan, Conan-kun, and you're remembering the view from his arms?"

Surprising Kaito slightly, Conan clutched his hand more tightly at this and looked him straight in the eye, shaking his head slowly, deliberately. "I… don't think that's…" and he trailed off, his yawns returning in full force.

Kaito just stared for a second, trying to quiet his own heart which had started pounding insistently at the piercing look Conan's eyes had fixed on him. When Conan stretched against him, and the telltale signs of sleep half-lidded his eyes, however, Kaito smiled, pulling him closer. Rubbing his warm, soft little back, he gently leaned over and kissed the top of his head. "Hey, don't force yourself, okay? Whatever those dreams mean, I'm sure it'll all become clear in time...Anyway, I'm here with you, now, so just wake me up if you can't sleep, okay?"

Conan nodded into his chest, his shivers long-gone, and his breathing began to regulate in Kaito's secure hold.

Smiling down at the boy in his arms, Kaito let himself relax in the warmth of Conan's body, smiling to himself as he felt a fist clutch at his shirt. Leaning in, another small hand found its way to rest behind Kaito's neck. It was bliss.

"Oyasumi, Shin-chan," Kaito yawned before his breath hitched as he realized what he'd said. But before he could correct himself, Conan whispered quietly, almost indiscernibly, "Oyasumi, Kai."

Kaito's heart began to pound on over-drive as he stared at the boy snuggled against him. What was that, just now? Had he imagined it? Was his concern for Shinichi just really getting to him that much? Had his guilty half-wishes that Conan _were_ Shinichi finally come back to bite him? Was the fantasy of Conan being able to explain his boyfriend's absence getting to the point where he was now really hallucinating and imagining Conan to be him? Of course, Conan and Shinichi were so similar in so many ways, it was somewhat understandable, but still…

_Absolutely insane_. Not that Kaito wasn't used to things slightly out of the ordinary, but…that would be too much… _And of course Co-chan won't remember this when he wakes up. Well, there's nothing to do right now. I'm sure it was just a fluke, maybe he just fell asleep in the middle of saying 'kaito-niichan…' but… it just sounded so **natural** when he said it_… No matter how he tried to ignore it, it kept hitting Kaito as he lay in bed, arm still draped around his little charge, that no one called him that…no one had _ever_ called him that…but Shinichi.

Leaning down, Kaito planted a very light, hesitant kiss on Conan's cheek, waiting to see if there was a reaction. When the boy continued to sleep soundly, his face soft and smooth in the innocent sleep of a child, he thought he could have punched himself for being so stupid. Whoever Conan really was, they would figure it out together, and until then, scaring him with crazy theories about shrinking bodies or…

_After all, if, by some crazy stretch of the imagination, Shinichi **had** been turned into a 7-year-old…I mean, the whole idea's ridiculous, but the fact of the matter is he has no memory of any of it…and as far as he knows, he **is** 7 years old…_

_Even if…he were…I couldn't tell him. It would be…I mean, what would I say? Oh, hey, Co-chan! So…you know that Shinichi-niichan guy I was telling you about? You know, the one who is 10 years older than you? Yeah, well the truth is, he's you! Oh, and did I mention that we're dating? _

_Gee, that would go over well…probably render the poor kid catatonic…_

_No…I need to watch over him, help him…and wait for the blood work. That's all I can do. If my crazy conclusions seem to have some basis, I have to help him remember for himself. I can't just tell him flat-out. _

_Regardless of who he once was, of who he is…he is still the same Co-chan I've been with this past week. For right now, at least, that's what matters. _

Curling around him more tightly to settle his nervous jitters, Kaito let his face fall to rest in the soft, impossibly comforting warmth of Conan's hair. Eventually, the simple presence of the person in his arms fought away what remained of his frantically circling thoughts and anxieties and he drifted off, holding Conan close through the night.

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

After school on Thursday, Ran was once again waiting with Kaito to pick Conan up, and after an exchange of greetings, the three took off to her place, Conan getting more and more excited at the prospect of meeting a real-live detective. And of getting to go to a detective agency! Instantly, the little fantasies of a Baker Street-like set-up, with a slightly neurotic but brilliant detective, quiet and probably talented in some area of music…began to spin in his head as they had been through most of the day of school (which had been, as always, far too easy and thus providing ample time for mind-wandering).

Kaito grinned at the occasional nervous tugs on his arm as Conan failed to hide his excitement, a distant, day-dreamy grin creeping up at increasingly short intervals.

_Maybe I should have warned Co-chan that Ran's dad is…well, I've only met the guy a few times, but if what Shin-chan told me is true, well…heh. Co-chan just might be a better bet if we wind up dealing with a case…OH what am I thinking? KAITODON'TCURSEYOURSELF!_

Ran and Conan stared as Kaito suddenly planted his face none-too-lightly in his palm.

"Niichan, what's wrong? Headache?"

"Heh, no…just uh, nothing…"

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

"Here we are!" Ran grinned brightly at her two guests before turning and opening the door for them. Her smile dropped to a scowl almost instantly. "Mou, Otousan!"

"Ohh, Ran! _Perfect_. I just ran out of beer-could you go and get some? I could also use some…uh, let's see… chips and-"

Mouri Kogorou stopped as he noticed (belatedly) the terrifying death-glower his Karate-champion daughter was fixing on him. He also noticed (vaguely) that they had some other guests. One of said guests stealing his attention away momentarily, he turned to sneer over at Kaito.

"You're back, I see, Tantei bouzu. What'd you do? Chase some crazy over half the country and forget how to use a phone? Ran's been worried, brat!"

Kaito blinked for a second before registering what exactly the older man was going on about…and who exactly he clearly thought he was addressing. "Oh, no, Mouri-san, I'm-"

Ran's fist, planted with a terrifying bang in the table less than a foot from where her father's feet were lounging, needless to say redirected the attention of all of the room's occupants. "Otousan," she began dangerously. "First of all…WHAT is this mess? I TOLD YOU we were going to have company…second of all, that is NOT Shinichi! You've even met him before!" She motioned wildly over at Kaito before throwing her hands back in frustration as he looked sheepishly between his daughter and the indicated boy.

"Oh, uh…yeah, I guess I remember. You're that Kuroba kid, right? The one who's always hanging off of Tantei bouzu?"

Kaito opened his mouth to respond, but didn't get very far before-

"And really! Acting this way when I TOLD you we had a CHILD coming?"

Kogorou blinked as he let his eyes wander to the little blue-eyed boy who was eyeing him with a mix of confusion, interest and hesitation. "Don't tell me you forgot! Remember? This is Conan-kun, and he's the boy who's interested in detective work and wanted to meet you! God, how can you be so spacey?" Her voice was still dangerous, but Kogorou's retraction of his legs from the table, attempt to clean up the empty snack and beer containers and apologetic smile softened her a little.

"Gosh, otousan, really…You're going to scare-"

She stopped when she noticed that Conan was no longer by the door. Turning around, she noticed that he had crossed behind her and, head cocked slightly, was lightly prodding her disgruntled father in the arm.

"Um, excuse me, Mouri-tantei?"

Kogorou sat up straighter, and looked at the boy. And then he stared. "Oi, kid. Why do you…look so much like that Tantei bouzu?"

Conan blinked at him before giving him a half-smile. "Shinichi-niichan, you mean? Yeah, everyone keeps saying that. I'm not sure, you see…"

"Otousan!" Ran hissed. "Do you remember ANYTHING I told you last night? About Conan-kun?"

Eyes widening in sudden realization, half-recalling a discussion the previous night about a boy with amnesia, Kogorou looked down at Conan for a time before letting his features soften a hair. Offering the boy a half-smile, he said, "Sorry about that, kid. So, you're Conan?"

He nodded.

"And you wanted to see a detective in action?"

This brought on the first real smile the older detective had seen on the boy's face, and it made him light up with such good-natured, captivating vivacity and excitement that Kogorou couldn't help but smile back. _Hm. Maybe he isn't as much like that Tantei bouzu as I thought…_

With a grin, Kogorou bent down and scooped Conan up under his arms, plopping him in his lap so he could see onto the table. When Conan looked back at him questioningly, he answered, "I figure I can show you a little bit of what I do. Let's see…case files, case files. Oi, Ran! Where did I put the-oh, never mind." Pulling a manila folder out from underneath a magazine with a picture of the pop idol Yoko-chan smiling sweetly from its cover, Kogorou cleared his throat before carefully setting it down, making a great show of opening the folder to reveal the contents.

He smirked a little at the boy's interest. _Heh, can't say it's a bad feeling, being admired._

Of course, for Conan, who had instantly had to re-asses and hurriedly dissolve many of the images from his daydream to be able to hold onto his illusion that detectives were, by definition, the most interesting, all-around impressive (as far as he could gather from his obsession with Holmes and the deep and unexplainable attraction he just had to the whole thing) people-though Kaito had been giving magicians a pretty good run for their money in his book, as well-Mouri's behavior had startled him, but he'd figured that more information was needed before he let go of his idealistic notions. So the man liked beer, and wasn't quiet, and…stuff…so what! He was still a detective, and Conan was sure he would be incredibly impressive if he were to see him in action.

But for the second, his attention had been stolen away from the detective by the case files before him. Eagerly, he'd reached out, eying them hungrily, but stopped himself as it occurred to him he shouldn't just reach for other people's things without asking first. "Um, Mouri-tantei? Can I…open them?"

Mouri ruffled his hair a bit. "Well, kid, I suppose as a special treat, sure. Be careful not to bend anything."

With a happy little cheer, Conan plunged into the file, and began to scan it, his heart pounding. And as he paged through, gathering information and assimilating it as he went into different logical and speculative categories, he felt an incredible thrill taking over. This…this made sense to him! The more he looked, the more obvious the connections became. Words he hadn't realized he'd known suddenly called up images in his head which, part of him realized, should have been somewhat disturbing, but…looking at the case this way, as a logic puzzle, thoughts of the effects of chloroform on the onset of rigor mortis didn't bother him at all…

The other three occupants of the room found themselves entranced by the boy before them. Now standing on Mouri's lap, hunched over the pages he'd spread on the desk, his eyes were alight with more than curiosity. He was grinning in constant, and increasing, understanding and revelation, and a whole score of other things besides. Kaito's heart began to pound as he watched.

Feeling a tug on his sleeve, Kaito turned to see Ran gripping him, her eyes wide as saucers, as she watched Conan. "K-Kaito-kun," she whispered. "This boy…where did you say you found him again?"

Heart pounding, Ran's own suspicions only piling onto and helping to confirm his own no-longer-so-shakily founded ones, he opened his mouth to respond…

When suddenly, there was a loud knock on the door.

Still staring at the boy before her, Ran blinked for a second before suddenly saying "Oh, right!" and racing over to look through the peephole. She frowned a little, but opened it anyway. "Um, hello, who might you-"

"I finally found ya, Kudou!"

"HUH?" A bunch of confused faces turned to meet the smirking, dark-skinned young man standing in the doorway.

Ran blinked at him. "Um…Sorry, but Shinichi-"

Before she could finish, the young man had brushed past her and was standing, smirking widely, in front of Kaito. Kaito blinked, comprehension dawning.

Comprehension had obviously yet to dawn on the visitor, however, who suddenly pointed at Kaito and said, somewhat dramatically: "Kudou! I challenge you! I've been looking for ya for like a week to test our skills against each other! So…" he crossed his arms. "What'll it be? Don't tell me you're scared?"

"Ooookay…SOMEBODY needs to cool it before he blows a gasket," Kaito said, rolling his eyes, as he stepped forward and put a hand on his impromptu challenger's shoulder. "And I didn't catch your name…Detective something-or-other, I'm guessing?"

He nodded, grinning. "Hattori Heiji, high school detective of the west! Nice to meet ya, Kudou!"

"Okay…now that we have YOUR identity clear, maybe you should use those little detective skills of yours to take the hint…"

Hattori blinked, but then looked down when he felt a tug on his pants-leg. "Oh, hey there, bouya. What's your name?"

"I'm Conan, oniisan, but you're wrong about who niichan is," he smiled.

"Hm? What are ya talkin about, kid?"

"He's Kaito-niichan, and he's a magician, not a detective. He…doesn't like detective stuff very much, to be honest."

Hattori blinked. "You're pulling my leg." Turning back to Kaito, he said, "I've SEEN Kudou before and you look just…"

"Yes, yes, I think I'm QUITE aware of the physical similarities I have with my boyfriend, thank you very much." Kaito grinned at the several levels of shock Hattori's face displayed as he processed this information.

"B-boyfriend?" He choked.

"Yep!"

"Hey kids, shutup, will you? I've got a phone call…" As Kogorou spoke on the phone, his face became increasingly excited and he began to straighten his tie with one hand. Upon hanging up, he grinned wolfishly around at the room's occupants. "I've got a case!"

"Otousan! Are you serious?"

"What? It's not _that _surprising is it?" He huffed a little, but his nervous, jittery excitement was too apparent to disguise for long. After a blur of activity, Kogorou raced through the door and down the apartment building's stairs, Conan starting to run after him before catching himself and just looking after him longingly.

Conan looked up when the high school detective paused to his right, mumbling, "Oh right, that occhan's a detective, too…forgot about that. Hey, neechan," he addressed Ran.

"Um, yeah?" Ran looked at him in slight surprise at the mode of address…

"Is he going to be okay? Like…what I mean is…how're his stats? How often does he solve a case?"

Ran blinked and blushed a little, but the red quickly darkened in protective anger. "I don't think that's your business, umm, Hattori-kun! Otousan's just…"

"That's…what I thought," Hattori clenched his fist and then muttered to himself. "Guess Hattori Heiji's gotta step up. You wanna see a show, kid?" He crouched and mussed Conan's hair.

He blinked but then a huge grin broke out. "Really? You'll let me come along?"

The kansai detective grinned back. "That's only on the condition that you promise not to get in the way, but _someone's_ gotta be there to witness my victory in case Kudou decides to show!"

"H-hold on! Conan-kun can't go along! He's just a child!" Ran stepped in, frowning.

"Wha? I was around all kindsa murder cases when I was his age! You wanna go, right, kid?"

Conan nodded enthusiastically, eyes gleaming with a kind of unstoppable excitement.

Turning to Kaito for help, Ran pleaded. "Kaito-kun! Do something! You can't let him go!"

But Kaito was just staring at Conan, jaw set, theories and partial-evidence swirling in his mind…and, most immediately, images of the astonishing excitement, glee and…just how alive Conan had looked when he'd been paging through that case file…how absolutely thrilled and energized he looked right now at the prospect of going along… He closed his eyes, smiling in partial resignation to himself, neither confirming nor denying his theories, but simply… "Let him go, Ran-chan. He'll be fine."

She gasped. "Kaito-kun! How-"

"We're going, too, of course. But Ran-chan…you saw how he was looking at those notes. Co-chan's a detective, through and through. It's absolutely clear, and no matter how we want to prevent it, I'm sure he'll find his way into all sorts of trouble on his own…so how about we go along and just make sure he doesn't get into anything serious?"

"But…"

"Well, then, now that's settled!" Grinning and lifting Conan, Hattori blinked when the boy was quickly wrenched from his arms. Looking up, he met eyes with a scowling Kaito.

"Keep your grabby hands off of him."

Hattori stared at him. "Um…I wasn't tryin to molest the kid or anything…"

Kaito blinked. He hadn't intended…had barely registered even moving. But when he saw that guy grab his…well, Co-chan…an angry heat had coiled up within him and his body had responded the only way it knew how. _To get to Co-chan_. _Get him away from that **other** guy_... Kaito slipped on his poker-face, grinning at Hattori, but gripped Conan more closely to his chest.

"Niichan?"

"I'm fine, Co-chan," Kaito breathed, his heart rate returning to normal.

One eyebrow still raised at the guy who, if he were not greatly mistaken, had just been exhibiting the signs of _acute yakimochi (jealousy_), Hattori shrugged and turned his attention to more pertinent matters. "Welllll, I'm heading out. Occhan's probably left without us, but we can just catch a cab. Neechan, did he write down the location?"

Kaito grinned, revealing a slip of paper with the information written neatly on it. The room's other occupants stared at him, and he shrugged. "What can I say? Sticky fingers." He grinned.

"Right…" Hattori looked at him sideways before grabbing the slip of paper and heading down the stairs to hail a cab, the rest trailing close behind.

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

"What are you kids doing here?" Kogorou scowled at the newly arrived group.

Ran looked, by far, the most uncomfortable, but being intimidated by her father had long-since left her repertoire. "Hattori-kun's a detective, otousan, and Conan-kun wanted to see the case, too, so Kaito-kun and I couldn't very well let them go alone, could we?"

"Hmph. Damn brats, getting in the way. This MEITANTEI, MOURI KOGOROU, will single-handedly solve this case, mark my words!"

Three teenagers rolled their eyes. Conan simply watched him closely.

"Oh, brat? Uh, I mean…uh, Conan? If you want to be a detective, make sure you observe VERY CAREFULLY, you hear?"

"Um, sure, Mouri-tantei…"

"Oh, I can't deal with this!" Hattori stepped in. "Bouya, listen to me. If you want to be a detective who actually MAKES something of himself, don't ya dare listen to him. You should watch me!"

"What, an arrogant, hot-headed, snot-nosed tantei bouzu like you? Che, I don't think so. The kid has better taste than that…"

"Kaito-niichan, what's wrong with them?"

Kaito looked down to where Conan was clutching his hand and grinned at him. "Oh, they just want to be the first to impress you, Co-chan!"

"Why?"

"Oh, well, besides your unsurpassed cuteness…" He winked at him and Conan felt a slight blush creeping up which he quickly tried to hide. It didn't go unnoticed however, but Kaito, for once, didn't comment, rather storing the reaction with the rest of his mounting evidence.

After a minute, he realized Conan was still waiting for him to continue. "Oh, well, though in this case it's probably a lot about ego-boosting, looks like they've set their sights on you, Co-chan…as someone to be role-models for."

Conan thought about it for a second, and then squeezed Kaito's hand. "I've already got one, though, so guess they missed out!" And he grinned up at him.

At this, a plethora of emotions coursed through Kaito. And many of them ran counter to his Shinichi-theories. At that instant, in fact, the boy was showing very little of what kept making him draw connections to his detective-best friend. The grumpy, at times arrogant, at other times obsessive, wonderful, loyal, brilliant love of his life. Instead, he was very clearly Co-chan. Co-chan looking up at Kaito, looking _up to _Kaito…and holding him with a kind of love, a regard, which was fully his own.

Kaito felt curiously as if his heart were breaking over itself. To what extent were his theories about the Conan-Shinichi connection influencing his feelings for the boy? Whether they were baseless or whether they weren't, how would he feel when the truth really came out? Looking at him now, it occurred to him that Co-chan, despite the similarities, WAS different. Wasn't Shinichi, even if…he turned out to be…he still wasn't. Not entirely, anyway. He was someone else, crafted from their time together, and he loved him in a way particular to him. A love complicated by, with flavors mingled with, the possibility that his old love and his new were fused as one person…

He dropped down and hugged him.

Conan was a little confused by his niichan's sudden spaceyness, and wondered at the way he was looking at him. For some reason, it made his stomach twist in unfamiliar ways. With warmth, but also a kind of feeling which was somewhat uncomfortable, but oddly enough, not in a way which was _unpleasant_… But before he'd been able to really process the feeling, Kaito had pulled him in for a tight hug. _I feel like he's been doing this more and more often, recently,_ he mused. But no matter. Far be it for him to _complain _about that_. _He leaned in, tangling his fingers in Kaito's messy hair.

"Are we interruptin?" A humor-filled voice put in.

Kaito glared over Conan's shoulder at Hattori, but then gently released him, standing up and snapping his fingers to materialize a set of balls which he promptly began juggling with one hand. "Not at all," he responded smoothly.

Ran, who had finally managed to wrench the two warring detectives apart, came over smiling, and sat down to give Conan a little one-armed hug. "We're going in, Conan-kun. Make sure you don't stray far from your niichan and me, okay?"

"Okay, Ran-neechan!" He smiled at her and then, grasping Kaito's patiently waiting hand, they entered the mansion where the murder had taken place…

* * *

><p>Phew! Thatttt took some energy! Actually...it stole some energy from my final papers...gulp! Oh well, I'm not too fussed about that :D All for Co-chan and Kaito, right? Anyway, I REALLY hope you guys liked it! I had a lot of trouble putting this together. I wrote the different sections at different points, so I'm not sure how coherently they flowed together, but anyhoo...<p>

Thank you so much for reading! You guys rock X infinity. Please, if you can, take a second (or a minute) to review! Thanks so much!

I'll be seeing you soon!

tess4aria


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter 6: The Art of Deduction**_

I have so many thank-yous to say to my reviewers for last chapter that...I barely know where to begin! To my anonymous reviewers and...everyone! THANK YOU. I am so touched, and so motivated by your words. I am SO glad you like the story so far. I seriously love you.

I had a lot of trouble writing this. Greatly because of the case...which, admittedly, is most of the chapter, so meh. HOPE that I do it well enough that the case doesn't overwhelm, but works with the story. In other words, I hope you enjoy this!

Sorry for the wait, but this chapter is definitely the longest I've ever written...HOPE it isn't the worst~ Please continue to review! You people are SO lovely. You don't even know.

Warning: This chapter contains long-winded explanations and the development of a case of my own, clumsy creation. Clues are buried throughout the text...though I may just have to sift through this and delete large chunks to make it more to-the-point, ne?

I don't own Meitantei Conan~

_**Please R&R~!**_

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

The group was met at the threshold by a shaky-looking young housemaid who eyed them with apprehension. Recognizing them as the requested detective(s) (and their tag-alongs), she led them through the large entryway, past the baroque grand staircase, and into a high-ceilinged study, where they variously took their places in or around the several large armchairs and couches scattered throughout the room as she left them to 'fetch the mistress.'

After watching her go, heart pounding in his ears, Conan let his eyes track around the room. At some point when they were being led through the house, Kaito had tightened his grip on his right hand significantly, and Ran had swooped down to grasp his other firmly in hers. The warmth of their touch was endlessly reassuring, and it helped somewhat to ease his nerves and anticipation, but it didn't quell the general feeling this place gave him.

Everywhere he looked, he could see signs of past tragedy, whether in the obvious neglect of the rooms they passed through, the clearly unused dishes which sat around, gathering dust, on the dining room table, set as if waiting for company which had failed to show up long before, or the occasional eccentricities in décor, as if things had been shuffled around quickly, picture frames and furniture moved and stashed elsewhere…

All of it gave him a bad feeling, but rather than run away from it, he wanted to go exploring, to gather more information to fill in the gaps in his understanding. He noticed that he wasn't the only one who seemed to be thinking along these lines, either. The Kansai detective, Hattori, had begun to drift off to the side to examine the dishes and the empty-looking vase in the middle of the dining-room table more closely, complaining as Ran chided him not to get left behind.

As the housemaid was about to leave the study, Hattori said to her, "so, neechan, what can ya tell us about this place? How long have ya worked here?"

The girl's gaze dropped to her feet and she mumbled, "I only just started work here a few days ago, and haven't been told anything, sir. If you'll excuse me, I'll go ahead an fetch Touda-sama…"

And with a short, nervous but polite bow, she hurried from the room, shutting them inside.

"Ooookay, so who else is finding this place creepy as hell?" Hattori asked conversationally to the rest, grinning sardonically.

"You've got an aye right here, Heiji-kun," Kaito said, flashing him a slight grin before shuddering. Bending down beside Conan, he smiled gently. "You sure you want to stay, Co-chan?" he asked softly. Conan cocked his head and looked at him in mock-surprise.

"Of course, niichan! This looks interesting so far!"

Kaito good-humouredly smacked his own head and sighed. "Aw, I figured as much… well, you're sticking close to me, then, buddy, you hear?" And wrapping his arms around Conan and picking him up, he flopped them backwards onto one side of a couch, Ran quickly settling next to them. Kogorou looked somewhat bothered, and grumbling softly, took a seat in an armchair, arms crossed.

Hattori, however, began to pace, taking in as much as he could from the surroundings, pausing at every book out of place, seeming to rapidly archive every out-of-the-ordinary detail of the room. The cloudy late afternoon sky, visible through one window on the far wall, had given way to dark stormclouds and the slow, steady pitter-patter of rain. This darkened the room significantly, so Hattori reached around to turn on a few lamps before setting his gaze on an empty spot on the wall where a diamond-shaped picture seemed to have hung previously.

Craning to follow Hattori's gaze, Conan tried to sit up, but the death-grip Kaito had him strapped in was unrelenting. Trying another tactic, Conan looked over at Hattori and called out, "Heiji-niichan? Did you find something?" Then remembering that he'd promised NOT to interfere in the case, Conan quickly clapped his hands over his mouth, but when Hattori turned, he rolled his eyes, but didn't look particularly annoyed at the boy.

"All depends, kiddo. I've seen some things that are pretty odd, but without knowing the details of the case, it's hard to fit em together…yet, that is." And he smirked, winking at Conan.

"Speaking of, what _do _we know about this case?" Kaito raised his eyebrows questioningly at the detectives, still holding Conan tightly to his chest, unconsciously tightening his grip around him even more as possible answers to that question buzzed through his head.

"Well, occhan?" Hattori grinned, motioning to Kogorou to take the stage, before walking over to sit on the arm of the couch beside Kaito and Conan.

"Er, that's…all they mentioned on the phone was that I was needed to open up an old murder case…said something about a man creeping into someone's bedroom at night, weird nightmares and disturbing shadows…the woman who owns this place has been seeing this kind of thing recently, apparently."

"Could she just be hallucinating, though?" Kaito asked. Conan squeezed his hand in an oddly encouraging way, and Kaito looked at him, but Conan hardly seemed aware that he'd done anything, his gaze still focused on Kogorou.

"Well, all that's definitely clear is that at night she saw a man creeping into her room, and apparently this is just what the previous murder victim saw before he was killed…So they figure they sentenced the wrong person three years ago and called me in to help catch the real culprit."

"I see…and of course you were probably called in for protection, too, if there's a possibility of another murder happening, then," Hattori mumbled.

"Didn't think they'd keep me waiting so long, though," Kogorou grumbled.

Any further comment along this line was interrupted by the door creaking open slowly as a middle-aged woman wearing a gauzy, semi-transparent shawl (which gave her a slightly praying mantis-like look) drifted in, her gaze unfocused as her eyes silently tracked over the room and its occupants.

Then, eyes widening, she tensed up and began to shake as she focused on Kogorou and stumbled, none-too-gracefully, towards him.

"A-are you…the detective?" She asked haltingly, eyes wide, as she all but fell into his arms as he stood to catch her.

"Uh, yes ma'am, I'm Mouri Kogorou, here as requested," he answered somewhat stiffly as the woman's grip tightened on his shoulders. "Is-did something happen?"

She looked up at him, fear flashing through her eyes. "Please…don't leave tonight, detective. You have to stay here and then…then everything will be fine. Just tonight…"

"What's special about tonight, obahan?" Hattori asked, eyes narrowing slightly. [Author's note: Hattori, using Kansai-ben, says 'obahan' instead of 'obasan']

She shook her head insistently. "I just have a bad…" and then she shook a little and suddenly smiled saccharinely around at them as if she were seeing them for the first time. The sudden change in mood was jarring to all present and Kaito opened his mouth to speak when he was interrupted by the now manically grinning woman:

"I'm terribly sorry! You all must be so tired! Is it already this late? We have plenty of guestrooms for you, after all, and that way, detective, you can make sure to keep your eye out for the real criminal all night, right?"

Kogorou cleared his throat, looking uncertainly around. "I don't mind staying, but these kids are going home. I don't want them around any loonies and-"

He was cut off by a crashing sound from outside followed by a startlingly violent crack of thunder. Racing to the window, they peered out, squinting through the now pouring rain to see a large fallen limb draped over the driveway.

"Oh no! Otousan, this way…how are we going to get home?" Ran asked, eyes widening.

"Obasan? Are you okay?" Conan asked the older woman, whose eyes had glazed over and had, once again, begun shaking…

"Touda-sama! I'm so sorry to keep you waiting!" The maid from earlier ran into the room carrying a tray of tea, but at the sight of her shaky mistress, she quickly set it down and ran to steady the woman. "Perhaps you should have stayed in bed, Touda-sama," she said, forehead creased in concern. "Here, let's get you back…"

"Not…in that room…and the detective…must be in the next…" The woman then seemed to have fallen asleep, and Kogorou ran over to help hold her steady. "Touda-sama! Ran, call a doctor!"

"But tousan, the road's blocked out, so…"

"Actually, Mouri-tantei," the maid began. "Touda-sama has a slight chronic condition which predisposes her to periods of weakness. She has her medicine, however, so there isn't anything to worry about. If you would just help me move her to her room…"

After depositing Touda Asuka on a large four-poster bed, the maid turned back to the group and bowed. "I'm terribly sorry about all of this…Touda-sama has been taking ill off-and-on since I came to work for her several days ago. She has recently become convinced that the one who murdered her husband three years ago is back for her, but whether this has aggravated her condition or the other way around is…"

"If I may ask, maid-han, why is it just the two of you here? This is a pretty big house for two, isn't it? Especially if you're brand new…"

The maid looked at Hattori with slight trepidation and a sad smile. "I only know what I've been told by Touda-sama herself these past days about this family's history, but it seems that she fears the murderer may have been someone from within the household…"

"So she fired them all a few days ago? And you're the only replacement she let in?"

She nodded. "That's how it seems…Anyway, can I get you all something to eat? If you'll just give me a few minutes, I will prepare the guest rooms…it's quite dark to try to make it back in this weather, after all, and I hear this road has a tendency to flood in the rain anyway…"

"Guess there's not much else to do," Kogorou sighed. "Ran, you're staying in my room, got it? Kuroba, you're with the kid and I assume you're not scared to sleep alone, tantei brat?" He addressed the last to Hattori with a sneer.

Waving his hand at him, Hattori grinned. "Thanks for the concern, occhan, but I think I'll be fine."

"Sure about that, Heiji-kun?" Kaito grinned at him. "I'm happy to assist if you'd like a bed partner," and with a snap, a large stuffed bunny-rabbit appeared in the Kansai detective's arms. Blinking, he held it out between two fingers, grimacing, before crouching down and holding it out to Conan.

"Here, bouzu! A gift from your niichan!"

Conan wrinkled his nose at the ugly thing and glared slightly up at Hattori, who burst out laughing. Looking up at Kaito, Hattori said, "I don't think your brother approves of your choice in 'bed partners,' Kuroba."

Kaito pouted momentarily before his face broke into a grin. "That's because I don't need annnyyone but this guy, here!" And swooping Conan up in his arms, he clutched him tightly, and winked over his head at Hattori, who rolled his eyes.

"You're a weird AHO, ya know that?"

"Glad you think so, Heiji-kun!" Kaito winked at him.

After a hurried dinner during which the maid carried Touda's portion up to her on a tray, the group returned to the hallway where their rooms were lined up together, peeking in on Touda who was, as the maid had told them, resting again peacefully after having finished her dinner…

"Well, with that, I believe we will retire for the time being," Kaito said, smiling winningly around at the group, holding Conan to him. "I've got a tired but brilliant mind in my arms who needs his beauty sleep! Not that he _needs _needs it…honestly, Co-chan, you'd do better not to get any cuter, if you know what I mean." He winked and grinned more widely when the boy blushed and buried his head in Kaito's chest.

"Ahem, anyway, ladies and gentlemen, if you will, let us bid you goodnight!" And, still clutching Conan securely, he gave a short but ceremonious bow before entering the room the maid had prepared for them.

"That AHO magician reminds me of someone, but I can't…quite… put my finger on it," Hattori said, half-to-himself, as he tapped his cheek in thought.

"Besides tantei bouzu, you mean?" Kogorou growled.

"Yep, besides Kudou...Speaking of which, neechan, nobody ever explained where exactly Kudou ran off to! So?"

"Oh, well that's…" Ran sighed, her eyes sad and uncertain, but with a small smile, she motioned Hattori to follow her into her and her father's room.

"You see, about a week ago, we went together to Tropical Land…"

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

A few hours had passed since they'd drifted off when Conan woke up to an odd sniffling sound. Struggling to free himself from Kaito's clutching grip, he strained his ears to hear more clearly, but the sound seemed to be moving farther and farther away. He sat still for a minute, one hand poised on his pillow, staring wistfully at the door before sending a guilty glance back at Kaito's sleeping face.

"Gomen, niichan, I'll be right back," he muttered, imperceptibly quietly, before climbing down from the bed slowly, taking care not to make any sudden noise or movements which might wake the sleeping magician. With one last glance back, Conan crept into the dark hallway, letting some unquenchable curiosity alive deep within him lead him along, barely giving him an instant to worry about the danger which could potentially be waiting for him in the dark shadows.

All he could process, at the moment, was the fact that there were clearly many elements of this case they were missing, and the itching hunch that he had perhaps found a new lead. He froze. _There's that sound again!_ Moving forward again, but more slowly this time, he reached a corner. Once again, he could hear the sniffles clearly, but this time there was an almost silent sob along with it. Peeking around and through a cracked-open door, he saw the young housekeeper, crying to herself, hugging a diamond-shaped mahogany frame to her chest.

Conan's eyes widened as he focused on the frame. That indefatigable curiosity coercing him to step forward, he stepped on a creaky floorboard. The maid snapped up, her expression momentarily of frantic fear and anger, but after registering just who the little spy was, her face relaxed significantly and she smiled.

Taking a careful step forward into the room, Conan looked up at her and said softly, "Oneesan? Are you okay? You were crying…"

"I'm just fine, bouya," she smiled at him, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.

He took another step closer to her and continued to eye her steadily. Glancing at the frame in her arms, he saw a picture of a little girl, a few years younger than he, dressed in a little fur coat and hugging a porcelain doll to her chest, beaming at the camera.

"Who is she?" Conan asked, indicating the picture with a tilt of his head.

"She's…" The housekeeper sighed. "She was the young mistress, actually…"

"Touda-san's daughter? Where is she now? I haven't seen any of her pictures around the house…"

"She's actually…Touda-sama's neice, and well, the truth is…" She sighed and a deep sadness settled in her eyes. "She passed away three years ago…"

Conan's eyes widened. _That's right when the last murder occurred. I wonder if there's a connection? _

The woman seemed not to have noticed Conan's space-out, and said, smiling at him bitter sweetly, "She would have been just about your age."

Conan blinked up at the young woman, and then back at the portrait before saying, steadily, "She looks like you."

The woman flinched. "W-what? What do you mean, bouya? That's impossible, because-"

"Well, she has your eyes, see? That green color's pretty rare, isn't it?"

The woman just stared at him in shock for a second and then, bringing a hand to her eye, she looked as if she'd suddenly remembered something and grimaced. Then, as if she were simply brushing this slough of expressions under a bed to be forgotten, she took on a wide grin and turned back to Conan.

"That's quite a coincidence, huh? Well, I haven't actually met the young mistress, but they were telling me about her, and she's quite cute, wouldn't you say?"

Conan frowned at her. _She's obviously lying. Why would she have been crying over the portrait like that if they'd never met before? And wait a minute…weren't her eyes blue when we saw her before?_

Grinning up at her, he just said, sweetly, "I see, oneesan! Well, I should get back to bed! Goodnight!" And with that, he hurried back through the dark hallway, mind buzzing with questions and potential answers…

And then, suddenly, he heard a pounding sound racing towards him from up ahead. Heart beating, he froze, looking forward, and then a dark blur materialized before him and a pair of long, strong arms and a mass of messy brown hair wrenched him none-too-lightly from the ground, clutching him almost painfully tightly to his strong chest.

When Conan recovered his breath enough to focus his attention, he looked up to see that Kaito had a slightly terrifyingly serious scowl on. He also realized that he couldn't have moved if he'd tried, the magician was holding him so tightly, but he didn't say a word until Kaito had firmly shut and locked the door to their bedroom behind them.

"Um…niichan? Are you okay?"

Kaito just took a few deep breaths, setting Conan down gently on the bed, but keeping his firm, almost painfully tight hold on his arms. Not answering him, he began to look Conan up and down, grabbing his legs to examine them, looking behind them, feeling his head for any bumps… finally seeming to have satisfied himself that Conan was not hiding any injuries, he heaved a great sigh and fixed Conan with the most humorless face the boy had ever seen on him.

When he spoke, his voice was strained and hoarse. "Do you…" He began, almost in a whisper, "Can you imagine what that was like, Co-chan?"

Conan blinked at him and narrowed his eyes. "What what was like?"

Kaito closed his eyes for a few seconds before opening them to fix again on Conan. The boy felt a twinge run through him. Kaito's eyes were absolutely brimming with worry and fear. Relief, too, but the pain was still so clear that it pained Conan's heart in an inexplicably pervading way. Not at all scared by the expression, he felt suddenly the desperate need to get it away, to get that expression off of his niichan's face, never to return again.

He reached forward and clutched Kaito's hand in both of his, staring him in the eye, and was relieved when he didn't pull back.

The look didn't leave Kaito's eyes, however, but when he spoke, the bitterness was replaced by a kind of tired, spreading relief still coated in the thick residue of apprehension and near-loss. "I woke up, Co-chan…and you weren't there. Here we are, in this big house, investigating murder cases, knowing a potential murderer might be wandering around…and I open my eyes to find you missing. Can you imagine? Can you just imagine what I might have thought?" His voice was angry again, and Conan cringed, though almost entirely in guilt.

Seeing Kaito's raw pain and obvious fear this way, Conan suddenly felt incredibly stupid and selfish for so easily following his whims, just because his curiosity had gotten away with him…

"I-I'm sorry, niichan, I just…" He frowned at Kaito, eyes imploring him. As he continued to hold Kaito's deep, indigo gaze, however, he found himself unable to say what he had intended, to explain that his late-night expedition had, in fact, brought results, that he'd found out some very valuable information for the case…

Instead, he inched closer to the edge of the bed, to where Kaito was crouched, just staring at him. "I'm sorry, niichan," he tried again, and stared him in the eyes. "I shouldn't have left you like that, I…I didn't mean to make you worry and-"

His words were then cut off as Kaito leaned forward and pulled him into another tight, insistent hug. Leaning forward, Kaito knelt on the edge of the bed, pressing Conan to his chest, just letting his warmth soak into him, comfort him, and chase away the dark fears which had begun to plague him unremittingly from the instant he'd noticed he was alone in this large bed.

"I'm sorry," Conan repeated, over and over, and Kaito shook his head into Conan's hair, clutching him even more tightly, and didn't stop when a few tears spilled from his eyes, tracking down his cheek to roll over Conan's.

Conan gasped when he felt the wetness, and instantly reached up to wipe Kaito's eye. As the magician lay them down, together, Conan pulled himself up as much as Kaito would let him to lightly kiss the eyelids that were still tearing up. Kaito just clutched him more tightly at this, but his breathing was regulating.

"I just…Co-chan, I know it might seem like I'm overreacting, but…" Gently releasing one of his hands from around Conan to pull the blankets back up over them, he gently cupped his cheek and said, smiling sadly, "If you really insist on playing detective, I know I can't stop you, Co-chan…but please don't wander off alone like that... Let me know, and I'll help you. You see, with Shinichi, I wasn't able to keep my eye on him, but at least I can with you. If you'll let me that is," and he smoothed Conan's soft hair from his intent, blue eyes.

Conan hugged him tightly around his neck at this and then turned to his ear, whispering, "I won't leave you, niichan. I promise you…I promise I'll never leave you…"

"Co…Co-chan," Kaito's eyes widened, his heart filling up with an astonishing momentum, and he leaned closer to him, almost forgetting where he was as he lost himself in the pools of those blue eyes…

And then, from several rooms to their right, there was a gargled, blood-churdling scream. With one shared glance, full of meaning, Kaito grasped Conan to his chest and jumped them out of bed, rushing to where Hattori and Kogorou were banging on the door to Touda Asuka's room.

At the assurance of the maid, who had come running up behind them, looking terrified, that the only pair of keys to this room was kept by Touda-sama herself, the two detectives shouldered their way through the door, only to see what they all expected they might. Lying on the ground, but propped half-way on the side of the bed, blood pooling from her open mouth which was frozen in a silent scream, was the woman who had spoken to them in the early evening.

In an instant, Hattori was crouching by the corpse, and, as if his body were moving on its own, Conan slipped from Kaito's protective grip, drawn, inexplicably, to crouch beside Hattori. Leaning in, eyes focused, his eyes tracked along her body searchingly, avidly, taking in her state and looking for any sign of a cause…

"Ouch! Bouzu, I told you to stay away!" Hattori glared at him, holding his head where they'd bumped into eachother...

"S-sorry, oniisan…"

"Don't give him such a hard time, Hattori!" Kaito glared, but then gently took Conan's hand and pulled him back a little. "Come on, Co-chan, let's get away from that grouchy hot-head," he muttered.

A nerve twitched in Hattori's temple, but he just turned his back on them and continued to examine the body, Conan watching him, frowning in concentration, his head turning over itself, ideas pumping in his minds eye.

"Ran! Call the police-I don't care if it's difficult with the weather, I'm sure they can make their way!"

"H-hai!" Ran bolted instantly from the room, the maid following close behind to show her the way…

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

After Ran had returned, assuring them the police would be on their way as soon as possible, and the room and body had been thoroughly examined, Kogourou smirked and rolled his eyes a little.

"Heh. I thought it was weird. Maid-san, no one has actually seen the murderer but Touda-san, right? Well, she was acting pretty loony when we saw her…and considering the window was closed and locked and the door to the hallway was locked, with the only key inside…there's no doubt about it. This was a suicide, staged to look like the murder from three years ago to draw attention to the mystery and her family legacy!" Kogorou said this all with an air of unquestionable self-assurance.

Conan frowned at this.

"Co-chan?" Kaito looked at him questioningly, placing a hand on his shoulder.

His brow furrowed a little more. "I…don't think that's right, niichan," he said softly. "It wasn't a suicide..."

Kaito crouched down and regarded him closely, and as he gazed at the serious, determined expression on the boy's face, he nodded slowly. "What-what do you think it was, then, Co-chan?" He asked softly, rubbing Conan's arms in a nervous motion meant to be for the boy's sake but which, he soon realized, may have been more to quell his own insecurities...

"Well niichan, doesn't it look like it was murder by…" He began quietly…

"Poison?" The last word was muttered by two voices, a soprano and a tenor together, and the owners of said voices met eyes, surprise evident in their gazes.

"You've got some pretty good instincts, there, bouzu!" Hattori grinned down at him.

"You mean it really _was _a murder, Hattori-kun?" Ran asked, wide-eyed.

"Yeah, there's no other way, you see…"

As Hattori took them through the details of how he'd reached his conclusion based on the state and position of her body, for instance, Mouri listened with a vague mixture of resentment, annoyance and stubborn half-denial, Ran in shock at how closely the detailed explanation resembled those she'd heard so often from her childhood friend…Kaito, however, found his attention wandering from Hattori to fix solidly on Conan.

The boy was listening raptly, eyes fixed on Hattori, a half-smile playing on his lips as the Kansai detective continued. What most hit Kaito was not the enjoyment clear on Conan's young face (which was surprising enough considering the unsavory nature of the topic), but the utter, clear comprehension obvious in his eyes.

The way he would nod ever-so-slightly with each new point Hattori made and the self-satisfied hint of a smile…it was as if he were marking off points on a checklist he'd already compiled, just waiting for Hattori to name the different elements.

And then, Conan's brow, once again, furrowed slightly.

Struggling a little in Kaito's grip, he turned to give him a meaningful look, and Kaito gulped, releasing him, but casually stood up to follow him, not letting his eyes leave him for an instant. Conan's eyes widened as he glanced at a little vase on the windowsill.

"What is it? Did you figure something out?"

Conan turned to him and grinned. "I think so, niichan…it's…" He frowned as he looked over to the two grown detectives, and a shadow of doubt crossed his brows. "I don't know why, niichan…they should know better than I…but I just…I just know this has to be right! Nothing else makes sense!" He turned pleading eyes to Kaito, and the magician just nodded.

"What is it, Co-chan?"

"It's just like you said earlier, niichan…a hallucination…"

Kaito raised a brow.

"The question is…how were the same hallucinations brought up in two different people at such different times?"

Kaito bent closer to listen, letting Conan know that he had every bit of his attention totally captured. "So you've figured out the murder weapon, so to speak?"

Conan nodded, and whispered the gist of his findings to him. Kaito's eyes widened as he listened...

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

"Well," Hattori said, grabbing his jacket and heading for the door, "Guess all's left to do is find where our murderer ran off to…"

"You'd be wasting your time, Heiji-kun," Kaito interrupted.

Hattori stared at him. "What the hell are ya talking about Kuroba? How would you know wh-"

"Sorry to mess up your show, but Co-chan and I did a little bit of thinking together, and we've figured out the only possible scenario. Seems you're missing some vital points, tantei-han," he said, grinning.

Kogorou glared at him. "Oh? And why should we trust a magician brat and an amnesiac kid?"

Kaito glared, but then, with a glance down at Conan's penetrating, blazing eyes, he squeezed the warm little hand in his own and smirked back up at the rest. "It doesn't matter what the source is, _shinjitsu wa itsumo hitotsu_, right?" He smiled, feeling as if his chest were filling up with a strange power, a transference of some kind as he smirked in secret pride at using his Shin-chan's favorite motto…with a start, he felt Conan twinge slightly and press closer to him. Smiling to himself, Kaito hugged him reassuringly.

Hattori looked like he was preparing a sarcastic retort, but his face faltered, shifting into serious consideration as he let the words and the magician's serious expression circle through him.

"Care to elaborate?"

"You saw it earlier, didn't you, Heiji-niichan? The vases...They're all over, right?"

Hattori blinked at him, and then nodded slowly.

"They were empty, but this one in here still had a little bit left…and it's pretty obvious if you look…"

Staring at him strangely, Hattori found himself gravitating to the vase to look in, forgetting momentarily that he was taking the advice of a little kid on a case.

"Be careful, oniisan!" Conan cautioned. "It's…it's deadly nightshade…"

Hattori's eyes widened and he wrenched his hand back before pulling out a pair of heavy-duty protective gloves. Reaching in, he carefully pulled out a single leaf and then stared back at Conan in shock. "How…did you know that, kid?"

"I didn't know at first…but there's more around the house, niisan, different parts of the plant, that is…of course, it doesn't matter whether it's the roots, leaves or berries-ingesting any of it can cause really strong hallucinations due to the _Tropane Alkaloids_…"

The room had gone dead silent, and Conan's eyes widened. Looking down in embarrassment, he backed up instinctively to press against Kaito's knees. The boy's gentle contact knocked Kaito out of his own daze, and Conan's childish nervousness tore at his heart. Wrapping him in his arms, he looked around at the shocked faces around the room. "Co-chan's brilliant, you guys, so don't act so surprised!" Running a hand through his hair, he grinned at him in encouragement.

Hattori shrugged a little before grinning at them. "Good call, kid. Definitely _atropa belladonna _would explain the old lady's weird behavior, and someone could totally have poisoned her husband the same way three years ago and dressed up to make him think someone was coming in to murder him in the night… so the same person's been haunting this lady, too…but we still don't have a culprit, so I still gotta go look for evidence."

"Actually, oniisan…" Conan blushed a little, and Hattori's eyes widened mid-roll when the boy's too-intelligent eyes met his, imploringly. "The same person didn't commit the two murders."

"How would you know that, Conan?" Kogorou stared at him. "Tantei brat, you're not really taking this seriously, are you?" He turned to Hattori to say.

Hattori let one eye stray to Kogorou for an instant before turning back to wait for the scarily-brilliant boy's response. "He hasn't said anything, yet, that's given me reason not to listen to him, occhan. Just give the kid a chance."

Kaito and Conan both smiled at him, and Kogorou rolled his eyes before reluctantly looking at the youngest member of the group.

"The problem, Heiji-kun, is that you only know about the two cases, right Co-chan?" Kaito smiled at him, and Conan nodded. At Hattori's look of surprise, Kaito said, "Co-chan had a little…late-night stroll…" His voice grew slightly harder as he said this, but then he sighed and continued: "He found out some valuable evidence then, huh, Co-chan?"

Conan nodded. "Three years ago, there was another death…but it was really covered up. A four-year-old girl died…That girl's death was due to the previous murder…and this one was due to the little girl's…"

"So was the girl poisoned, too? Same way?" Hattori's eyes widened. "Wait. Deadly Nightshades berries look pretty innocent, and are slightly sweet. Did the girl eat some berries meant for Touda-han's husband?"'

Conan smiled at him, and nodded. "That's what I think, Heiji-niichan, and if the girl ate one of the berries intended for the husband's death…if so, there would be a motive for this case, right? Revenge for the girl?"

"So the girl's parents or something? Did they sneak in?" Kogorou put in.

"Remember, occhan, it was a locked-room case. We would have seen if someone had come in…but the only ones here are-"

Smiling sadly, Conan walked over to the housemaid and looked up. "Oneesan? This isn't really your first time coming here, is it? Did Touda-san kick you out after she died? Because she was scared?"

The housemaid stared down at Conan for a time before smiling at him. Her smile was small and hard, but genuine. "Finally. Someone's unveiled my sister for what she was…" And reaching up, the woman peeled off a form-fitting latex mask, revealing a woman in her late thirties beneath. The room's occupants gasped.

"It's as the boy says. My name is Touda Setsuko. Touda Asuka was my older sister…and the girl who died, Michiko...was my daughter. Three years ago, Asuka murdered her husband for extortion…Blind-sighted, I didn't realize any of this until recently. Idiot I was, I'd believed her stories about the serial murderer being responsible for the man's death. I believed her fake grief…and I was so lost in my own at what Asuka called a 'horrible accident,' that …that I just…"

"But then, a few weeks ago, I learned the truth. Our housekeeper at the time of the murder three years ago had seen it all. She knew how Asuka had poisoned him bit-by-bit with the berries and ground-up roots and leaves of _atropa belladonna_. She told me how the she would dress up and enter his room at night, of course making sure he was sufficiently drugged, to plant the idea of the night intruder…"

She sighed, and her face hardened with incredible sadness. "Michiko…when I found her in the sunroom, collapsed, and the doctor said…of course I wondered how she'd gotten ahold of the poison…but Asuka convinced me the same man who had killed her husband had killed the girl somehow and I…believed her…"

"Not long after, Asuka pushed me entirely from her life. She said she didn't want Michiko's death to circle, said it would show more respect for her memory to grieve for her privately, and I was so distraught that I didn't argue…I'd always looked up to her. I trusted her. I…"

"And then, one day, I found it in her room. A bit of the plant. When I asked her about it, she acted surprised, shocked, and innocent…but then, not long after, we fought over something stupid…she just rose up at me over nothing…and practically chased me from the house, guised in her fake grief for her husband."

"I realize now, of course, it was simply to get me out. I did, too…stay away, that is…until I heard the truth from Sugimura-san, our housekeeper. She came to my house, one day, and confessed everything she knew, told me she could no longer rationalize keeping the truth from me…"

"Sugimura-san, as it turns out, felt extremely guilty about her lack of initiative to set things right, but together, we figured out a way to make it all better…" Setsuko had a hard glint in her eye as she smiled at something they couldn't see before continuing. "I dismissed her from her post, and took her place myself. You see…after Michiko died and I was banished from my lifelong home, I needed something to dedicate myself to, to throw myself into. I became somewhat of an amateur disguise artist…so anyway, I took our old housekeeper's place and then began to plan out my revenge. I did it slowly at first…squeezing the juice of one berry into her glass of wine at night. Then, as time crept on, and I learned more about my sister, about the lack of remorse she felt…"

The woman started sharking, and when she looked up at the others, tears were gleaming in her eyes. "I hinted at it. I asked her about Michiko one day…I'd noticed she'd taken down all the pictures we used to have of her, hanging throughout the house. Asuka just laughed, as if it were a matter of no concern to her at all. She actually openly admitted it in her blind arrogant confidence in the loyalty of her staff who had never said a word to that point. She simply said the girl should have known better than to have eaten something without asking…"

"It was this that pushed me over the edge. And so I increased the amounts of poison, and then, one night, I dressed up just as the old housekeeper had told me Asuka had to haunt her husband. That was when my sister changed. She broke. She realized the reality that she was around those who knew her crimes and who wanted her to atone for them. After that night, she fired the entire staff, and began to privately hold onto her keys. She became paranoid. But she had already absorbed too much poison into her system, and she was weak, delirious…her memory and vision were spotty. She needed help, but I knew she wouldn't call a doctor to diagnose her. She was too terrified of exposing the murder weapon she had used in the past-of creating a connection between herself and that particular poison."

"Anyway…She was still my sister, despite her crimes, and I knew her. I knew what would make her drop her guard…and so I disguised myself as an anonymous young housekeeper and made myself unthreatening and innocent enough that she welcomed me in, alone, to help her through this period…I had already managed to infect her well enough…had already made sure to slowly feed her the poison she killed her husband and my little girl with…but I couldn't just let her go silently. I wanted her to know I had seen through her trick…entirely, that is…and so, I took on, once again, the role of the night intruder she had haunted Motohiko-san's nights with…to pay her a last farewell."

"Hm…But there are some things I still don't understand," Kogorou said. "Why did she call us? If she was even scared of calling a doctor up? And why was she so determined we stay tonight? She said 'just get through tonight and it'll be fine.' Did she know she was going to die?"

"Tonight," Setsuko began slowly, "is the anniversary of Michiko's death. I understand, now, why Asuka booted me from her life, why she blew that little fight into something huge enough to get me away from this house. She knew I would take revenge if I knew the truth…I was shocked, too, when she said that, emphasizing that tonight was special, to be honest. I realized that she really did know, after all, that I was behind it. Of course, she didn't realize I was right beside her, poisoning her, all this time…"

"And occhan," Hattori added. "As for why Touda-obahan invited you, it's just as we said earlier, she wanted protection, and I think she was actually betting on your stats to not uncover the truth-ouch!"

Ran had sent a glare and a flying punch at him at this comment, the punch which Hattori had managed to dodge, only to stub his toe on a radiator. The others stared at him in various levels of amusement, confusion and resentment.

Shooting another glare at Hattori for good measure, Kogorou spoke up again. "How about her final scream? And the weird way she was propped as if she'd seen a ghost. Why was she…like that?"

"The picture, right, oneesan? That was how you confirmed who you really were without taking off your mask, right?" Conan looked her squarely in the eye.

Hattori's eyes widened at the picture frame before them. "That was your daughter, then…I see…"

The woman looked at them with a surprisingly peaceful expression. "Go ahead and take me in. I no longer have any regrets. Justice has been served. My sister has been recognized for the crimes she committed, and she knew why she died before she did…she knows I took revenge for Michiko…"

The room was silent. Squeezing Kaito's hand, Conan spoke up softly. "Maybe you're right, Obasan, but…but what about what Michiko-chan would have thought? I…I don't think she would have wanted her mom to take revenge like this, using the same exact murder methods the truly bad person used…I…"

"It's easy to be vindictive, and sure, there's a certain catharsis in that," Kaito added. "But rather than helping Michiko to live again, didn't it just lock her mother in the darkness? How would that have made her happy?"

Touda Setsuko's face wrenched up and her eyes moved between the two clutched together, staring at her in regretful determination. Her eyes widened and for a time, she didn't say anything. Then her knees folded, and she crumpled to the ground, and tears began to roll down her cheeks.

Kaito made to step forward, but Conan moved first, pulling him behind him, to rest a hand on the sobbing woman's shaking shoulder. "Obasan," he said sadly. "It's okay to cry. I bet Michiko-chan can hear you, you know, if you cry hard enough. If your tears are sincere, I'm sure they'll reach her…"

The woman turned and smiled weakly, grasping his hand momentarily. "Thank you, Bouya…"

Once the police had come and the woman had been taken into custody, the little group finally had time to think about some of the odder elements of…not the case, exactly, but the deduction…and Conan realized quickly that everyone's eyes seemed to be focused on his back as they walked. Feeling awkward, he clutched Kaito's hand more tightly.

"I need a smoke. You kids wait here," Kogorou muttered before venturing out farther into the yard. Conan then found himself walking into a tall wall. Bumping it, he bounced back slightly, but was caught on both sides, Kaito behind, and by the 'wall' in front. Looking at him strangely, Hattori bent down and stared at him. "Who are ya, kid? Really, I mean?"

"O-oniisan? What do you-" Conan's heart was beating so quickly that he didn't notice the other, equally pounding heart pounding into his back from the body behind him.

"You aren't just brilliant, kid, you're…" He looked away for a second, searching for the right words. "You just…you _know_ this stuff. You…Is he related to Kudou?" He addressed the last part to Kaito, who gulped.

"Co-chan has amnesia, Hattori-kun, and we don't know exactly who or where he came from…" Kaito said seriously, and the Kansai detective looked taken aback.

"You're kiddin me! No way…" He looked at Conan in concern, and his expression quickly softened. "Well, bouzu, that's…you beat me even without all your memories. Man, I'm NEVER going to live this one down…" He smacked his palm over his face mock-mournfully before grinning and winking at Conan, who smiled back.

As Kaito watched Hattori, he noticed it looked as if the detective were struggling with something, but then a grin took over, as if he had decided to let it slide for the time being. _Maybe this hot-headed detective guy isn't so bad, after all…Though he's nothing compared to…_and he squeezed Conan (who looked at him questioningly) a little more tightly.

"Hey, do ya guys wanna go out and get some breakfast? I think we're in desperate need of something after that bright little sleepover…"

"Yeah! Good idea, Heiji-niichan! Hey, Kaito-niichan, can we?"

"I think I can deal with another few minutes with this detective if you're with me, Co-chan," Kaito joked, earning himself a glare from Hattori.

The Kansai detective then ruffled Conan's hair playfully before standing up and stretching. "'Kay, let's get goin, then! Oi, Occhan! Neechan! You two ready to go?"

Ran's eyes were half-lidded as she looked up and yawned. "Actually, Hattori-kun, I think I'm going to get a ride home with Tousan…I…*yawn*…really didn't sleep last night at all, so…"

"Che, fine. I see how it is. But we should do this again sometime, neechan! Well, maybe not the murder, but seriously, you should come with these two to Osaka sometime! I'll show you all the best restaurants. Oh, and make sure to let me know if you hear from Kudou! He still owes me a match, after all! And…I've got an obnoxious friend you could help me out by babysitting…" He grimaced a little, but then grinned as Ran blinked questioningly.

Kogorou grunted goodbye, pausing only to ruffle Conan's hair before glaring at the others and taking his place in one of the patrol car's he'd been offered to ride home in.

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

Soon after spilling into the mostly-empty café by the station, Conan was happily settled in Kaito's lap, nestling a hot cup of coffee in his small hands, and listening in interest to a strangely familiar argument between the two young men…

"Look, Heiji-kun," Kaito explained with a wide wave of his hand which almost whacked a passing server in the head, "Lupin is just tops, end of story."

"No way, Ellery Queen. Seriously, magician, you've got no taste!"

"At least Holmes I can _kind _of get, but Queen? No way, I can't fold to more than one detective writer, it'd be a travesty!"

"Kuroba, why are you so into a damn thief, anyway? Somethin you want to tell me?" Hattori grinned across the table at him as he took a bite of egg in his mouth.

"Oh, Heiji-kun, you detectives need to stop thinking into things so much!" Kaito grinned back at him.

"Niichan, how about that Kaitou Kid guy? Do you like him?"

Kaito froze, staring down at him. "Wha? You…you remember Kaitou Kid, Co-chan?"

Conan shook his head. "No, not really. Mitsuhiko-kun mentioned him, is all. Apparently he's a magician, so I thought…"

"Oh!" Kaito grinned at him. "To be honest, Co-chan, I _am _quite a fan of Kid! He's pretty cool, after all!"

"You're further incriminating yourself, Kuroba," Hattori smirked at him and Kaito cocked his head in response.

"Heiji-kun, I just helped solve a murder! No way can you suggest I'd-"

"But Kaitou Kid doesn't really do anything too bad, niichan, does he? He stops major crimes using little ones, right? He doesn't sound too different from you, really!" Conan grinned up at him widely.

"Co-Co-chan, you little traitor, you!"

After this little exchange, Hattori and Conan had burst into laughter, and Kaito soon found himself joining in.

"Oh…MAN, bouzu. I never realized kids could be so damn entertaining! You better come along to Osaka next time, too, you hear?"

"Sure, Heiji-niichan! We can even solve a mystery together again, maybe!"

"Uh…sure, kid…" Hattori gulped. _From what I saw today, this damn kid doesn't need much help from me, but meh. That's ridiculous, Heiji. He's still a kid…Looks like I'll have some good, hard thinking to do when I get home…_

The meal ended without much additional export…except for the moment, near the end of the meal, when Kaito had decided to turn Hattori's hair a blazing, electric green ('to match your eyes!')…something Conan enjoyed immensely…though the same could not be said of the detective, himself, who threatened to find something 'real incriminating' to use to lock away the magician where he could never again bother him with his incessant tricks…

With the help of his new little detective ally, however, Hattori managed to get the magician to grumpily lighten the green tint before he went on his way.

Bending down to muss Conan's hair, Hattori grinned. "Well, Conan-kun, you keep it up, okay? I'll take you up on your offer, I think. I'll stop by sometime so we can solve another case together, okay?"

"Yeah, Heiji-niichan, make sure you come! Kaito-niichan won't be too bad, I promise!" And he grinned back at the pouting magician.

"And Kuroba, don't think you're the only one who knows a thing or two about pranking," Hattori smirked at him, and Kaito smirked back, plus some.

"I accept your challenge, Heiji-kun!

After waving Hattori off at his train, Kaito mentally slumped over, welcoming the soft, warm pressure of Conan's little hand in his to an almost absurd degree.

"You're tired, aren't you, niichan?"

Blinking at him, Kaito said, "Of course! Not only did we not sleep…not only did I have to suffer not just dealing with detective work but actually _acting like a detective!_" He shuddered at this. "I also…" He sighed, letting the other stresses on his psyche go unexpressed (vocally, at least).

"You don't look at all tired, though, Co-chan! What are you, an energizer bunny?"

Conan laughed a little, swinging Kaito's hand back-and-forth, before shrugging, a thoughtful but relaxed (and much too grown-up) expression settling on his young features: "The case, niichan…I can't explain it, but it just…" He smiled widely up at Kaito. "It just felt so natural. It felt so right…solving it that way, I mean…It was almost like I had my memory back!"

"...Niichan?"

"Oh, sorry!" Kaito crouched down, running a hand over Conan's face, rubbing out the worry-lines which had formed during his momentary space-out. "That's…wonderful, Co-chan. And it really…it tells us a… lot. It hints at a lot. But uh…" Kaito shifted a little, slightly nervously, and Conan narrowed his eyes questioningly.

"What do you think about how well you were able to solve the cases, Co-chan?" He asked softly, watching him closely.

Conan set his hand to his chin, thinking about it for a while, before looking back at Kaito, shrugging. "I don't know. It's…odd that I know so much more than a lot of people my age, but…I guess I must have had a kind of weird time when I was younger. My parents must have really pushed me, you think, niichan?"

"Oh, uh…yeah, Co-chan, sure seems like it."

"And do you think I could be related to Shinichi-niichan, Kaito-niichan?"

"Th-that's…possible…" _As far as I know, Shinichi's family's pretty small and close-knit. The way I see it, Co-chan…you're either Shin-chan or you're not…but then again, two people, biologically the same, with different memories, different experiences…they're not necessarily the same, are they? Just like twins…or…brothers. So relatives. Sure. Relatives…_

"Kaito-niiii" Conan whined, pouting up at him.

Blinking, Kaito shook his head and burst out in full laughter at the boy's look. "Co-chan, why are you so ridiculously cute? Oh, I'm hopeless when you're around!" And Kaito smacked his hand over his eyes, peering out between two fingers to see the boy's reaction.

...Which was a saccharinely sweet smile and a subsequent happy chirp. "Holmes tonight?"

"Ohhhhh Co-chan…Don't you think SOMEBODY has had just about ENOUGH detective-ing for one night?"

"Enough detective-ing? Is there such a thing, niichan?" Conan joked back at him.

"Hm, I have an idea," Kaito said, leaning down and putting his arms around the boy. "Holmes for a bit…and then a little…" And he winked. "Lupin."

At Conan's bemused blinks, which did register some interest, Kaito scooped him up and set him on his shoulders.

"L'etrange Voyage! Il avait si bien commence cependant! Pour ma part, je n'en fis jamais qui s'annoncat sous de plux heureux auspices…!"

"Niiichannnnn…." Conan whined before collapsing, giggling, around Kaito's neck as the magician continued to recite the opening passages of his own role model's book by heart…

* * *

><p>Super long and exhausting deduction chapter! Hope there were enjoyable moments as well! I'm not sure how I feel about this, but I'll read it again tomorrow and see. I got really tangled in the case I wrote...gee.<p>

Anyway, the next chapter should be fun ;D So look forward to it!

Oh, and PLEASE review! Thanks sooooo much, you guys! You are wonderful.

tess4aria


	7. Chapter 7

_**Chapter 7: Widening the Sphere**_

To begin, THANK YOU all, once again, for your lovely reviews. And now we have a chapter I half-wrote a few weeks ago, but wanted to make sure I did it right before publishing it. I REALLY, REALLY hope you like it!

As always, I love hearing from you! You push me on, inspire me, give me ideas ;D Keep 'em coming~

I do not own Meitantei Conan

_**Please R&R~!**_

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

The doorbell rang, and the apprehension which had been building in Conan's chest all morning washed away slightly as he watched Kaito skip over in his usual enthusiasm, inserting several impressive acrobatic feats into the mix, to answer it. The magician was dressed up quite nicely (for Kaito, that is), in a casual dark-green jacket and black jeans, an outfit Conan had picked for him, found hidden behind the smorgasbord of brightly-colored get-ups in his closet. Conan wasn't sure why, exactly, but he was both incredibly excited and extremely nervous to meet the Kudous, and for some reason, it settled his nerves somewhat to make sure Kaito looked presentable for them.

_Is it because Kudou-ojisan's a mystery writer? Or because they're the parents of Shinichi-niichan I always hear about? _These conclusions didn't do much for the brilliant child detective, however, so he tried to file them away and shift back to the present. Looking down to adjust his own blue blazer, though, his nerves became even more rattled as he suddenly became self-consciously aware that these clothes actually belonged to Shinichi, himself…_what will his parents think about that?_

Before he had time to think much more on the point, however, the door opened to reveal a tall, mustached, dark-haired man, and a young-looking blond woman. They were barely across the threshold before the woman flung herself onto Kaito, who patted her awkwardly for a few seconds before gently hugging her back in earnest. Once she had released him, her husband stepped forward to shake his hand, greeting Kaito with one hand on his shoulder, when suddenly, Yukiko gasped.

She and Yuusaku had spotted the other current resident of the Kuroba household, and for a second, Conan was worried they were going into shock. Yuusaku's face had gone very still and tight as he just stared at him from the entryway. Yukiko, after getting over her initial frozen shock, began to move towards him like a zombie, her wide eyes not leaving his for an instant as she drifted closer. Suddenly speeding up, then folding to her knees right before him, she stared at Conan with a look he couldn't place, though it looked familiar…strangely familiar…and then she leaned forward and pulled him in for a tight, close hug.

Though he was surprised at first, he relaxed almost immediately in her firm hold. Even though it was honestly bordering on uncomfortably tight, there was so much obvious affection in the touch that Conan couldn't help but smile into her shoulder as she pressed him closer. Even her smell was comforting, and it made him feel as if he were wandering on the edges of a dream, glimpsing a nostalgic but fuzzy role of film…try as he might, though, he couldn't focus the feeling any further, and just let himself relax in her warm arms.

After she had held him for a while, Conan was considering perhaps trying to see if he couldn't make his way out of the death-grip, but then he noticed she was shaking, and there was some slight wetness touching his neck where her face was buried. His heart clenched. _She's…crying?_

Slowly, gently, he hugged her back, wrapping his little arms around her neck tightly, reassuringly. Even though this lady was a total stranger-well, no, he knew who she was, but still! He'd never met her before in person-but even so…when he saw her crying, he felt the strongest urge-a deep-rooted need-to comfort her. Somehow, it didn't fit…There was something very wrong, something inherently unnatural, about this woman crying this way. Somehow, something inside him just knew that, as if it were simply a fact of life.

And somehow, he felt responsible-both for her tears, and for making them go away. Gently, he pulled one hand back from around her neck and brought it up to gently wipe her cheek where a little line of tears was flowing in a stubborn line.

Gradually, her shaking eased up, and with another squeeze around his middle, she loosened her grip on him, leaning back, but still holding him in her lap, to look him over in earnest. She blinked. He blinked back.

Smiling, she gently ran a hand through his hair. "So, you must be Conan-chan, huh?"

"Y-yeah, obachan, that's right…"

"Thanks," she whispered. "For cheering me up." She smiled at him genuinely, and he felt as if a knot of tension in his heart released at the sight.

"No problem," he responded. Noticing the other figures in the room had moved in close, he turned left to see the crouching figure of Kudou Yuusaku regarding him with a piercing, unrelenting gaze which both unnerved him and made him feel somehow…not relaxed, exactly, but…the man's stare seemed to have an equalizing effect on him, as if it steadied his heart, somehow.

Conan had the distinct impression that in that one glance, the man had exposed the secrets and depths of his heart, but rather than making him want to hide or close off from him, it made him feel as if he could…be himself. He knew it would be useless, anyway, to try to hide from this man, and for some reason, the thought was very comforting. The novelist was intimidating, no doubt, but Conan was surprised by how comfortable he felt around him, despite (or perhaps in part due to) that x-ray gaze…

With a warm smile, the man gently reached forward as if he were about to run his hand through Conan's hair as his wife had, but seemed to think better of it, instead shifting his hand down to hold it out to shake. Grinning, Conan awkwardly put his hand in the much larger one, suddenly enveloped by warm, gentle pressure, and shook it.

"Conan-kun," he said quietly, and then smiled.

Kaito had watched the whole exchange with enthralled, but slightly pained eyes, and Conan noticed. Tilting his head to ask, he was cut off by Yukiko, beaming around at all of them, suddenly beginning to chatter, all business. "Well, then! Now that we've all met, are you boys hungry?"

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

The restaurant the Kudous took them to was not the kind of fancy place Conan had been expecting. Instead, it was a cozy, private little establishment, a hole-in-the-wall, really, that filled him with a kind of nostalgic warmth. It had seemed dark when they'd first entered, but each table had its own private desk lamp, and the area they chose to sit in had extra light pouring in from a skylight above. The walls were covered in books, Conan noticed, and the fact made him smile all the more. Silently, he decided he approved of the Kudous' taste in restaurants.

"This is actually one of Shinichi's favorite places," Yuusaku explained as they took their seats. "So I thought we could go here in lieu of his actually being with us."

"We can experience it four times as much for him, and when we get him back, we can tell him about everything he missed," Yukiko added.

As Conan crawled across the booth to claim a spot by the wall, Yukiko, Yuusaku and Kaito met eyes, and a private understanding, or maybe a private hypothesis, passed among them. It was something none of them could bring themselves to really say to each other…not yet, at least…but they all realized in that moment that they weren't alone in their suspicions. Smiling at each other, and then at the littlest member of their party, they all began to chatter, crowding around the menu.

"What are you going for, Co-chan?" Kaito asked.

"Well…"

"Shin-chan _really _likes _Miso Nikomi Udon_, Co-chan, why don't you try that? Oooh, but this is yummy, too!"

"Yukiko, Shinichi likes most things on this menu, you know…I think he should-"

"But he _especially _likes how they do the _miso _here!"

"I'll try it," Conan said, smiling at them. "It looks good."

They all beamed at him, and Yukiko quickly leaned down to give him a little squeeze. "Oh, you're soooo wonderful, Conan-chan! So quick to cover up arguments between your fa-…um, your uncle and me!" She grinned a little nervously at what she'd come close to saying, and Conan raised an eyebrow, but shrugged it off as she began to gush over how 'absolutely perfect' he looked in 'Shin-chan's' school-clothes…

As they waited for their meals, the Kudous thoroughly enjoyed themselves hearing more details from Kaito and Conan about the boys' time together, and were shocked and impressed when Conan performed a few coin tricks for them before vanishing and reappearing a glass from the table…but when Conan got to the story of his legendary first day of school…

Yuusaku banged his fist on the table uncharacteristically and Yukiko was almost in tears. "Oh…my goodness, Co-chan! You must have almost given that poor teacher an aneurism!"

"So, Conan-kun," Yuusaku said as he recovered, "you say you discussed Classical Japanese and did that calculation in front of your whole elementary school class? No wonder they were surprised!" He chuckled again, and Conan pouted.

"Well, excuse me for not realizing elementary school would be so ridiculously easy," he quipped, and Kaito chuckled at his not-extremely-polite sarcasm, meeting Yuusaku's amused gaze.

"Nope, it's just for little kids is all!" Yukiko started laughing again, but stopped when she received a dark glare from her husband and a slightly baffled look from Conan. "What…do you mean by that, obachan?"

"Oh, nothing! Just that most kids aren't as smart as you are, sweetie, so that work should be the appropriate level for most is all."

"Great, I guess I _am _a freak-"

Any further comment along this line was quaffed instantly, first by a sharp glare and cross-table tackle from Kaito, and then by a bone-breaking squeeze from Yukiko who squealed "You're perfect, Conan-chan! Don't you DARE say that about my baby!"

"Um…" He tilted an eyebrow at the crazy woman.

Yuusaku just mouthed 'I told you so' and Conan sighed before breaking out in laughter along with the others.

They were spared any further antics of this kind for the time being, however, by the arrival of the food. Kaito had a slight freak-out moment as the server first gave him the wrong dish-some sushi meant for another table-which had the magician ducking under the table and throwing himself into Conan's lap, quivering and screaming "F-F-Finnnny t-things…" into his shirt.

Conan just stroked his head reassuringly, muttering soothing words to him about how the 'Finny things are gone, now, they're long gone, totally unable to hurt you,' to which Kaito looked up at him, bleary-eyed, and whispered, "really?" in heart-wrenching (or what would have been heart-wrenching had the context been more serious) fear which had yet a bright light of hope shining through…

Once the mistake had been rectified, and a much calmer Kaito was back in his seat, acting a little more his proper age, Conan noticed the three people around the table seemed to be waiting for him expectantly, and so he took the lid off of his dish and sniffed it. Instantly, the smell overwhelmed his senses and he smiled. _Now this…if it tastes as good as it smells, I'm going to have to thank obachan for her recommendation. _

He was not disappointed. After working at it enthusiastically for a while without comment, Conan paused for a breath and looked around, smiling. "This is really great!"

Grinning triumphantly, Yukiko bent down and hugged Conan to her, "I'm so glad, sweetie," she whispered, and he looked at her strangely. Was it just he, or were they all acting kind of weird? It was like he'd passed some test, as if they'd expected him to like this meal just because…just because…_because Shinichi-niichan likes it_…

He froze. Everyone kept saying it. Niichan, certainly, and he _knew _he looked just like him…The magician had a picture upstairs of the two of them and…Kudou Shinichi definitely looked like he would imagine himself to look if he were ten years older. Did they think he really _was _related to Shinichi? Could the Kudous, themselves, be related to him somehow? Or…_do they just see me as a substitute for him? _

_That… may be the case. I'm so similar to the guy, and they miss him so much, that they're probably just hoping I'll keep showing more similarities, and I guess this Udon was just another success in that department._ Conan sighed. _I guess I don't mind, I mean, Shinichi-niichan's parents are nice, and I'm glad if it makes them feel better, but…I'm not their son, so I hope it isn't bad for them to get attached to me…_

_At the same time…I know it's selfish, but I like having them around…even though they're annoying. It feels like, like having a real family. Well, besides Kaito-niichan…but it feels a lot like having an aunt and uncle around. It's nice, but I hope…I'm sorry, Shinichi-niichan, I hope you don't mind…I'm not trying to steal your family or anything, but…I hope you understand…_

"Whatcha thinking about, Co-chan?" Kaito grinned at him.

"That's…a secret!" He grinned and Kaito pouted.

After the Kudous had paid, Kaito skipped forward to grip Conan's hand tightly in his, bending down to say, "Secrets for the poor?"

Conan lightly flicked Kaito's nose and said, "You're the magician, magic it out of me!"

"Do you mean that?"

"Um…"

Kaito's grin was reaching that manic state it tends to get to…and bending down, he puffed a little bit of hot hair into Conan's ear before whispering, "Tickle attack!" And with that, he began to chase Conan through the park across the street, over the jungle gym and through the sand box and around, finally collapsing, as Kaito scooped him up into his arms, under a tree, panting and laughing, Conan sprawled on Kaito's chest, clutched tightly to him.

Two chuckling adults approached from behind, but the two half-dozing members of their party didn't respond until there was a little flash and a telltale shutter sound, and they jumped up instantly, Conan trying to make a jump for the camera. "No! What did you …let me see it! Please?"

Yukiko shook her finger, smiling mischievously. "Sorry, Co-chan, but this is precious footage…though I might rethink my decision after we go shopping!"

"Ugh…"

"What was that?"

"Oh, I mean, sure, obachan, sounds great!"

"That's more like it!"

"Uhhh, do I …have to go too?" Kaito asked.

"Oi, you're not going to leave me alone to go shopping with her, are you niichan?" Conan hissed.

"Well, hmmm…separate from Co-chan…pain…but shopping? Of a different kind, but still, most certainly, pain…meh, fine, I'll go, but only because I love you!"

Conan laughed as Kaito swept him up into his arms and nuzzled him a little before looking him in the eye. "I'll accompany you, but in that case, I get to help choose your outfits! And dress you!"

"N-no way! Don't take advantage…" Conan pouted.

Kaito grinned and held him to him more tightly, ignoring the Kudous' amused smirks.

"Conan-chan?" Yukiko leaned forward, beaming at him. "There must be something you'd like! After all, you're welcome to as much of Shin-chan's things as you'd like but some of his clothes are so..._raggedy_! Hm...what should we start with, I wonder?"

Kaito nodded his agreement. "You definitely deserve some new things, Co-chan, especially now that you're a full-fledged mini-detective!" And he grinned.

At the inquisitive faces around them, Kaito plunged, much to Conan's embarrassment, into a detailed explanation of the Deadly Nightshade Murder Case. Once Conan noticed that the adults, rather than looking at him as if he were something from another planet, were watching him with enthralled, completely open and enthusiastic interest, he found himself relaxing, even jumping in to add the occasional clarification of a particular detail of the mystery.

It occurred to Conan just how _natural_ it felt to talk to them this way. Any initial surprise in the adults' faces had melted into something, if he were not much mistaken, like respect, trust, understanding, and he found himself, rather than hiding his intelligence the way he had become automatically accustomed to doing in front of the vast majority of people he met, actually thrilling to be more _himself_ around them-to hide nothing, and to let out just how excited he really was that he'd solved that case, how he'd felt, how fulfilling it was...And Kaito seemed to be encouraging him, getting into the discussion as much as, if not more than, he was...

And the more he spoke-the more open and relaxed he became-the more, he felt, the Kudous' eyes softened, and the more obviously their gazes blanketed him with a kind of knowing, warm affection. Before he'd realized what he was doing, Conan had found himself deep in discussion with Yuusaku about the finer details of the case and criminal's psychology, Yuusaku asking questions which directly fed Conan's thoughts as they were already naturally trying to develop.

With a sense of ecstasy, he realized that the man was actually treating him as an equal. Yuusaku seemed to genuinely take everything he said seriously, and to great impact, and those penetrating eyes, once again, were watching him intently, and then...had he imagined it? Was that a flash of...pride? It had faded, once again, however, into the analytical curiosity of a mystery writer hearing about a case, and Conan found himself forgetting once again, simply falling enthusiastically, back into his detailed account. And he realized, it made him feel so _good_ to talk this way...

As he walked along with them, he found himself hardly believing he'd only met the Kudous for the first time that morning...

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

As they continued on to (and as they progressed around) the outdoor mall, it occurred to Conan that his niichan was not the only hyper-enthusiastic, overly-possessive, and slightly crazy person in his life. Nor was he the craziest. For Yukiko-obachan was quickly giving him a run for his money in all of these areas…

She and Kaito had been fighting for possession of the boy's hands and attention, one or the other almost constantly noticing something Co-chan just _had_ to see, or try on, or try… and the poor boy was quickly finding their enthusiasm wearing, though, to a certain extent, flattering and amusing…but having your arms pulled every-which-way, and getting swept up to various chests or shoulders and whisked around by said magician and former actress was making him slightly seasick.

After a while, Yuusaku decided it was high time to intervene. "Kiko, Kaito-kun? Why don't you give Conan-kun a little break from all of this, now."

"A break? But Yuusakuuuu…" Yukiko whined. "You're having fun, right, Co-chan?"

Conan nodded weakly, but Yuusaku said firmly. "Don't use the boy's good nature to get the response you want, Kiko. You've been dragging him around all afternoon! Why don't you two go ahead while we get some drinks?"

"Oh, I'll come with you two, Yuusaku-san!" Kaito grinned, gravitating instantly back towards Conan, but then paused at Yuusaku's expression.

"We'll meet back with you in a minute, Kaito-kun, but I feel like I haven't had much time to speak with Conan-kun," he gave him a meaningful look which Kaito instantly understood for what it meant, and his pout melted away into an understanding nod.

"We'll see you in a few, Co-chan," he said, bending down and smiling at his brother, his hand resting in the boy's hair. "Will you miss me?"

Conan rolled his eyes slightly and laughed…but then, he felt a pang through his head and an overwhelming sense of déjà vu as his next words froze on his lips before he could express them…

"Co-chan, are you okay?" Not just Kaito, but Yukiko and Yuusaku were crowded close around him, eyes narrowed in concern, as Conan shakily moved his hand from where it had clutched to his forehead at the first twinge.

"I-I'm fine, everyone…I just…thought I almost remembered something is all…" In fact, he had seen, for a brief instant, images of a…schoolyard, maybe? And there were people around him, and they were joking and laughing…they were his height, exactly, but…_weren't they wearing Kaito-niichan's high school uniform? How…weird…_and he couldn't focus on the faces, or anything more clearly. As usual, the dream had already almost faded completely…

"I bet a drink would help," Yuusaku's calm, even voice put in, riveting Conan back to the present. Smiling reassuringly at the others, he coaxed them to go on into the store before turning back to Conan, smiling gently.

"You looked like you were getting tired there."

"Yeah…thanks ojisan," Conan smiled appreciatively.

The man shook his head slowly, still regarding the boy closely, before standing up and indicating the drink stand across the way with a tilt of his head. "Shall we?"

Conan nodded, smiling, and ran over to stand beside the man. As they began to walk side-by-side, Conan latched onto Yuusaku's hand, and he could feel the novelist's muscles tense before tightening firmly and securely around his smaller hand. It was a nice feeling…very different from with niichan, but he undeniably felt safe with this man, too…

Yuusaku had gasped mentally, eyes widening and heart pounding, when he had felt the soft, warm little hand make its way into his. It made his heart ache in some indescribable way, but along with a subtle pain he felt at the contact, he felt a sense of gratitude, of relief and confusion, mingled. Happiness and fear at once…He looked down to watch the innocent little figure to his left, and smiled, though his eyebrows narrowed as he watched him.

This boy…he was so…Yuusaku was almost certain of who he was…it was just too striking. But his son, Shinichi, had almost _never_ held his hand this way. Not the way Conan was now; he'd very rarely taken the initiative and grasped him first (he couldn't remember more than a handful of times by Conan's age) and even when he had, it had been a short yank...not a full-fledged grasp for comfort and security. To see him acting so vulnerable brought out, with incredible force, feelings of almost painful affection, of a desperate desire to protect him.

"Conan-kun?"

"Yes, ojisan?"

"If you don't mind my asking…are you…that is, have you been…okay? I mean, really okay? I know you and Kaito-kun have grown quite close, but it must be so terrifying suffering this memory loss and I suppose… I want to know what it's like, Conan-kun. I wish I could share your burden…a little bit, at least…After all, I've never been such a good…" He laughed a little, harshly, to himself.

"I haven't been a great parent, really…leaving Shinichi alone at 14-in retrospect, it horrifies me. I suppose I just…I want you to know that, if you ever need anything. Anything at all…you're more than welcome to ask. Do you understand, Conan-kun?"

Still clutching his hand in his, Conan stared up at the man, trying to make out just what he was really saying to him. The man's words struck a deep chord in him, and part of him wanted, nonsensically, to cry…For some reason, this man really seemed to care about him. To the point that Conan felt his own theory about being a substitute for Shinichi falling flat. The emotion in the man's eyes was just so _real_. It again occurred to him that the man really seemed to _see _him. He. Him. Conan. Even if, rationally, the man probably was just seeing him as a kid who looked like his son used to, he couldn't help but feel it was more than that…

Rather than responding right away, Conan just clutched Yuusaku's hand tighter in his, and pulled the larger hand down so he could rest it against his cheek. He smiled into the warmth.

Then, the man stopped walking, and suddenly, in one motion, turned, crouched, and pulled him in for a tight hug.

For a time, Conan didn't feel any pull to move, felt incredibly content in this man's arms, and found himself resting his head on Yuusaku's shoulder, closing his eyes in quiet satisfaction. Softly, he began to talk in a whisper, answering Yuusaku's earlier questions. "At first, ojisan, it was horrible. I woke up and my whole body hurt-my head and…well, everything, really. And I was dressed in weird, huge clothes, all wet from the rain. But the worst was the empty feeling. My head, my chest, were just so _empty_ and I felt like…some kind of shell. Not even fully human, because I had no idea who I was or where I was or…or anything."

"I was scared, and people were shining lights at me, and so I started to run. If I hadn't seen my reflection in a shop mirror, I wouldn't have known my own age…wouldn't have known how to recognize myself. When I was running, I didn't know where to go, but somehow, my legs just carried me forward, and then…I met niichan…"

Conan smiled, half-registering how Yuusaku's arms had tightened around him as he'd spoken. The man didn't say anything, however, which Conan appreciated. This was a rough subject for him, and he wasn't sure he would be able to start again if he stopped.

"When I first met him, I was scared. Not knowing who you are, ojisan, it's…I felt so vulnerable. The world just seemed so terrifying, and strange. A world of strangers-of fuzzy images and blank faces. But almost instantly…niichan just…he made everything better. Still does. Just being around him for just a few minutes, I began to feel more like…myself, whoever that is. That's what I thought. He gave me an identity, a name, a family and a way to get everything else back…I…can't even imagine what would have happened if I hadn't met him…I don't want to imagine it…"

"But I did," and he smiled. "And now, even waking up to huge blank spots in my mind, that emptiness no longer rules me. I have memories, and I have friends. I know who I am, even if I don't know who I used to be. But I'm happy. I can't help but be happy, because I have niichan, and I have my friends at school…and at night, or…when I'm out, there are times when I feel I recognize something." Conan looked up determinedly at Yuusaku, whose gaze matched his, not leaving his eyes for an instant. "I'm not scared, anymore, ojisan. I'm happy to be Kuroba Conan, and I keep meeting more people, and having more experiences, and reading more books, that make me feel more myself… for now, that's what matters. Pushing my memories won't help much, anyway, right?"

Yuusaku nodded, and this time, he did move a hand gently through Conan's hair, still regarding him closely. "You're absolutely right, Conan-kun, and I'm…so glad to hear it. But please remember that your…your aunt and I…we'll always be here for you. I'd be very…It would calm my heart to know you could think of our house as your own, Conan-kun. Yukiko and I will be staying there, so we'll invite you over, but even when we're not…please use it freely."

Conan's eyes widened at this. Looking at him, he didn't need to ask why. Even if he were to ask, he had the feeling he wouldn't necessarily get a totally honest answer. All he knew was that with this promise, he felt his widening world growing wider, and another steady, important equalizer settled itself into his heart. He had Kaito. He had Holmes. He had his friends. Now he had the Kudous.

Conan had barely noticed when Yuusaku had released him. The two had continued to watch each other, crouching, until something ice-cold on his cheek made him jump, landing into the novelist once again, spinning to see a grinning Kaito holding a can of coke down for him.

"What happened to your big excuse for not coming with us?" Kaito pouted before smiling widely again. "Thirsty?" And he gently touched the can, once again, to Conan's cheek. Another pain in his forehead made Conan clutch his head once again, and he groaned. _Second time in like 15 minutes! What is it with this déjà vu today?_

"Conan-chan? Are you okay, sweetie? Is your head hurting?" Yukiko was crouched beside him, pulling him from her husband's grasp to gently pick him up in one arm, feeling his head with the other.

Conan shook his head and grinned. "I'm fine, obachan!"

"Yeah, Yukiko-oba, er, neechan…" Kaito quickly corrected himself, grinning. "Co-chan has these sometimes, when something's familiar, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing, right?" He smiled up at Conan, who grinned at him over Yukiko's shoulder, nodding in answer.

"Well, then…one more boutique, okay, Co-chan? We saw the cutest outfit for you in the window!" Kaito squealed a little, and Conan rolled his eyes.

"Oi, niichan," he hissed. "I thought you said you didn't like shopping!"

Kaito put a finger to rest on his chin thoughtfully as the group began to walk towards said boutique, Yukiko (holding Conan) in the lead. "Well, I realize…that's when I'M the target. Shopping for you, Co-chan, is completely different!" And he grinned at him winningly, an expression Conan did not return in kind.

'Here we are!" Yukiko squealed as they entered the store, Yuusaku shooting Conan a wary glance before approaching his wife.

"Kiko," he said softly to her, "Try not to do anything that might mortify him in the future? Please?"

"Oh, Yuusaku," she answered saccharinely, "whyEVER do you think I would do such a thing?" And she winked.

"Don't worry, Yuusaku-san," Kaito said to the novelist as he rescued Conan from Yukiko's increasingly exuberant (and likely painful) hold. "I think I can guess Co-chan's taste about as well as any of us," he said, winking. "Mostly blue, usually a little too formal for the occasion…"

"Light jackets are okay, too, as long as they aren't too casual," Yukiko put in.

"And make sure it's something practical," Yuusaku added, "and versatility, too, is important…he needs to be able to move around if something comes up right after school, for instance…"

"Uh…" Conan started, his eyes popping a little as he tracked his vision back and forth among the three adults discussing him. _Why are they all talking about me as if they know me that well? And…why would they know my clothes preferences? I don't even know them! I guess it's Shinichi-niichan, again…I have to admit, though, I don't think they're…wrong…_

This continued to bother him until he was plopped, somewhat ungainly, down in a fitting room, what looked to him like a moderately-foreboding mountain of clothes, wielded semi-manically by the two most-hyper of the party.

Yuusaku sent him a commiserating glance before the fitting room door closed, shutting Conan in with the two shopping ring-leaders.

"Okay, Co-chan! Arms up!" Kaito said happily, not giving Conan the time to think or respond before he did the honors of pulling his shirt off.

"Kaito-kun," Yukiko said sweetly. "I think I should be in charge of dressing Co-chan, don't you?"

"Wha?" Kaito started, but at the look in Yukiko's eyes, he felt a slight blush creeping up and nervously nodded, averting his gaze to satisfy her. Conan looked back and forth between them, more than a little confused.

"Uh…niichan? Obachan? What's-"

"Oh, nothing you need worry yourself about, Co-chan!" Yukiko answered cheerfully, quickly pulling off his pants and redressing him in one of the outfits she'd picked out.

Conan was, indeed, unable to worry further about it, because too much of his attention for the next good chunk of time was focused on making sure that he did NOT leave the store with everything Yukiko put him in. His greatest ally in this, unsurprisingly, was Yuusaku, who gave Yukiko a sharp glance and politely averted his gaze from Conan when he noted the boy's embarrassment at his current garb (this last was for a long-sleeved thermal with little smiling dinosaurs covering every inch of it…and a t-shirt with a sponge-shaped boy grinning from the front)…

Kaito, to a certain extent, encouraged Yukiko's choices, squealing whenever Conan would don a particularly cute outfit, but eventually melted under the boy's pleading eyes, and took his side in the battle to get the print or graphic clothing down to only several articles-boxers with dove patterns, a night-shirt with four-leaf clovers, and a t-shirt which had to have been taken from The Hound of the Baskervilles, Conan was thrilled to see and point out exuberantly-it then occurred to him that he didn't actually remember much of anything _about_ Hound of the Baskervilles (at least when he tried to think about it consciously).

All in all, the trip was as one might have expected for a joint Kudou-Kuroba expedition.

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

When they finally parted ways for the night, both Kudous bent down to hug Conan tightly, Yukiko giving him a little kiss on the forehead, making him promise to come keep her company sometime soon, and Yuusaku reiterating his offer of full use of the Kudou library to the boy, but not before passing him a sampling of his collection, winking at the ecstatic-looking boy as he received his gift.

Watching the 7-year-old walk off, waving an enthusiastic good-bye to them as he clutched Kaito's hand in one of his, the Kudous beamed until the two boys had disappeared around the corner. Their eyes still fixed on the spot Conan had been moments before, the Kudous' smiles changed, and for a time, they just stood there in their entryway without saying anything.

Finally, turning to meet eyes with her husband, Yukiko flung herself into Yuusaku's arms, and began to cry. Their-at times verbal, at most times nonverbal-conversation continued for hours as they retired to their bedroom. Wrapped in each other's arms, sharing a pillow, Yukiko continued to bury her head in his chest, whispering, "Our baby's okay…he's safe, and he'll be back before we know it, Yuu-chan, right?"

"You know this, Kiko," he answered softly. "He will always find his way back to us, no matter what the circumstances. He'll be fine. He's Shinichi, after all..."

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

"Aaaachooo!"

"Bless you, Co-chan!" Kaito grinned at the boy who couldn't stop beaming, _A Study in Scarlet _clutched under his arm, the first Night Baron novel under Kaito's…

"Good visit, then?"

"It was great," Conan smiled at him before a slight frown crept onto his face. "Except for the shopping. That, I could have done without, niichan, honestly…and you were almost as bad as obachan!"

Kaito laughed at the accusatory look on Conan's face. "Sorry, Co-chan, but I couldn't help it! You really looked so cute!"

Conan sighed a little bit, but then grinned back at Kaito, skipping happily across the threshold as they arrived home.

As they began to get ready for bed, a book propped temptingly on Conan's pillow, just waiting to be read, Conan said to Kaito, a slight frown on his face, "Hey, niichan…"

"Mm?" Kaito wandered in to Conan's room from across the hall, pulling his shirt off to toss into a laundry basket in the hallway.

"I wonder why they, obachan and ojisan, I mean...felt so familiar. And I felt, too, that they treated me like they really knew me…" he said quietly. Kaito didn't respond right away, and Conan looked at him more directly. "Do you think they do know, niichan, and were just pretending not to? Because it might interfere with me remembering on my own?"

Kaito's eyes widened and he felt his heart give a rupturing jump before smoothing his face with its usual good-humored smile.

Conan had seen it, though, and his cogs were turning with the new information. _What is it, then? Who could I be that telling me would be such a big deal?_

Then it hit him._ What about niichan? He didn't know me, did he? No, that's impossible. When we met, he had no idea who I was…no, he must not have known me…_

"Co-chan," Kaito said softly, crouching down before him, looking at him searchingly, gently brushing a strand of hair away from his eye. "I told you…I'll make sure to get you your memory back. Rest assured I want that. But you are you, Co-chan. No matter what you find out, no matter how weird things seem, you'll always be the same person to me. So don't worry and don't force yourself…What matters most to me is your happiness, okay?"

Conan nodded slowly, eyes fixed on his. Noticing a faint glimmer of something in Kaito's eye, however, he asked, softly. "What about you, niichan? Are you happy?"

Kaito felt his heart clench. A range of answers-of varied levels of truth-bubbled up in his mind all at once. From the selfish and not un-true wish that _he_, if things really were as they seemed, could remember him, could be _his_ again…_truly his_…to the more selfless attitude he was trying to push for…

But looking at Conan's innocent, wide eyes, familiar in a way which didn't just recall memories of his detective…he felt honest in saying what he did.

"I love you, Co-chan, and you, as you are right now, are constantly figuring things out, right? I want to see you live, to be with you and watch over you. I'm anxious for you to be happy, Co-chan. That's one thing that I can assure you would make me very happy."

And with that, he leaned forward and tucked Conan in, kissing him on the forehead, before settling in beside him to continue their nightly tour into the world of mysteries…

* * *

><p>I hope you enjoyed it! Basically, Yuusaku-Conan fluff chapter...anyway, thanks for reading (as always)! Please remember to review! Thanks so much!<p>

Till next time!

tess4aria


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter 8: Light Cast on Shadows**_

First of all...THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for your response last chapter-and really for your response to this story in general up until now. I also want to apologize for how slow I have been in getting this next installment out ot you. Yes, I have been busy, and yes, I have been struggling with this...June seems to be a very Writer's block-y month for me so far!

I do hope this doesn't disappoint too terribly. Somewhat of a set-up chapter, but anyway...hope you enjoy it!

I do not own Meitantei Conan...

**_Please R&R~! Thanks so much!_**

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

_Hot sunlight beating down…__The man beside him slowed and stopped the boat, and then smiled down at him, motioning to the wheel... _"_mind the waves…" _

_One hand firmly on the wheel, Conan pulled on the throttle… he laughed in the freedom he felt as they sped along…_

_"Well done-"_

"Conan! Pst! Conan!"

"Wha-what?" Conan jumped back suddenly, almost knocking himself out of his chair, and looked around, disoriented, to see Genta frowning at him from behind.

"Genta?"

"Conan-kun," came a reprimanding voice. Looking up, he met his teacher's somewhat disappointed expression as she bent down before his desk. "I understand that the work in this class isn't always that challenging for you, but I still expect you to pay attention as long as you're here."

"I'm sorry, Kobayashi-sensei, I guess I've just been tired recently…"

She seemed to consider him for a moment before nodding. "You _have _been looking a little red-eyed recently. Okay, then, Conan-kun. I'm going to have to have a little talk with Kuroba-kun after school about this."

"Oh, but I'm really fine, sensei! It isn't anything to worry Kaito-niichan about…"

"Even if that's the case, I at least need to let him know how you've been doing in class, Conan-kun. That's my responsibility as your teacher. You understand that, don't you?"

Looking up to see her stern glance hadn't wavered, Conan nodded and mumbled "Hai, sensei."

She nodded and continued with the lesson, but continued to watch him warily as the class continued, and though Conan did still seem somewhat distracted, he didn't fall asleep again.

"Conan-kun? Is everything okay?" Ayumi asked him at lunch, eyes wide in worry.

"Yeah, everything's fine, Ayumi-chan," Conan smiled at her. "I was telling the truth-I just haven't been sleeping that well recently, but it isn't anything to worry about. Just weird dreams…"

"Well why don't you get your niichan to give you a magic show before bedtime? That should give your mind something else to concentrate on!" Genta suggested enthusiastically.

"Yeah, maybe…" Noticing his friends' concerned stares, Conan just shook his head and gave them a half-smile, considering whether he should tell them what was on his mind. He sighed. "I just don't want to bother him too much. He's been really…well," Looking to see that they wouldn't be overheard, a habit he attributed to his knack for detective work, he continued in low tones. "You guys know about Shinichi-niichan, right?"

They nodded, eyes widening. "Yeah! That missing niichan, right?"

"The high school detective, Kudou Shinichi?" Mitsuhiko asked. "The one who is Kaitou Kid's rival?"

"He's Kaito-niichan's friend, right?" Ayumi asked.

Conan nodded. "Yeah, and he's been gone for so long now without contacting anyone. And even though niichan tries to always act happy around me, and pretend like it doesn't bother him that much, it's obvious how sad he's been recently, and I just…I don't know. I just don't know what to do to help him! That's part of what's been bothering me...but if he finds out that I've been having trouble sleeping, it'll just put more pressure on him. And I want to cheer him up, not make him worry about me!"

"Hm," Genta put his chin in his fist in a thinking pose. "What could we do to cheer him up, I wonder?"

"We could bake him cookies! I know your niichan likes sweet things!" Ayumi suggested.

Conan smiled as he watched them get swept up in their enthusiastic discussion, thrilled at the prospect of putting their advice to good use, but then he sighed. There were, in fact, two main things weighing most on his mind at present, contributing to his recent lack of sleep. And one, undoubedtly, was the weird incomplete dreams which visited him each night. They were just so frustrating! Every time he thought he'd almost gotten a real clue-seen a face, heard a name-he'd wake up or the dream would suddenly change.

But the other thing weighing on his mind was the image, carved into his mind's eye, of an increasingly common scene cutting into his happy, laughter-filled home with Kaito. More and more, for the past week or so, he had caught the magician looking at him in a way which made him feel…very uncomfortable. It made his insides squirm in something not unlike guilt, though he couldn't fathom why he felt that way. Except, that is, for his guilt at his inability to fix what was wrong in his niichan's life. It made him feel so useless that he could do nothing to really calm the magician's fears about his missing boyfriend, and Conan could feel, also, when he saw that lonely expression, just how important Shinichi must be to him. And with that awareness, it hit him that he just couldn't fill that void for his niichan, no matter how he wanted to.

But almost every time Conan caught him looking at him that way, Kaito would quickly avert his eyes, and then would paste on a huge smile or pull a joke, or yank him into a tight, teasing hug, or chase him around the room…tactics which, in retrospect, were undoubtedly the magician's way of clearing the atmosphere and pretending that whatever was bothering him wasn't so serious.

But Conan had observed another recent tendency in his niichan which tugged at his heart and really drove things home for him. Late one night, on his way to the bathroom, he heard a soft sniffling sound coming from his niichan's room. Pausing by Kaito's cracked-open door, he peered in to see him, sitting at his desk in half-darkness, hunched over a picture frame. Conan's eyes widened as he recognized the frame, and it occurred to him that the formerly prized picture had been mysteriously absent from his niichan's desk for several days. Understanding its significance, he wasn't surprised, then, when Kaito continued to stare at it for several minutes, occasionally running a hand over the image before locking it away in a desk drawer.

It wasn't a one-time thing, either. Almost every night, or at other times when he no doubt thought Conan wasn't paying attention, Kaito had taken to sitting at his desk, repeating these motions in the light of a single desk lamp, staring at this picture he now kept locked securely away in his bottom drawer.

Conan felt as if a sharp pin were being driven into his chest every time he watched this, but he felt unable either to pull himself away, or make his presence known, until the whole thing was over. He didn't feel it was his place to really intrude, didn't want to make his niichan feel obligated to comfort him and lie about everything being okay. He knew it wasn't.

But he wanted to know, wanted to experience with Kaito the pain of Shinichi's absence. It just didn't feel right for him to stay blissfully ignorant while his niichan was suffering that way. But he just felt so incredibly useless…

And so he would slip, quickly and quietly, back into his bedroom, pull the covers up over his head, and pretend to be asleep when Kaito would look in on him a few minutes later. In truth, though, the images of minutes before would flash through his mind, Kaito's pained but set expression, his nearly-cracking (and sometimes fully cracked) poker-face, would haunt him in the darkness for hours until he finally drifted into fitful sleep to be greeted by the frustrating half-memories of his dreams…

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

School, which had seemed so unbearably long that day, had finally ended, and Conan and his friends were hit with a sudden high burst of energy at the thought of the coming weekend. At the prospect of such happy, carefree times in the near future, they were able to momentarily forget the worries and concerns which had bothered them earlier that day.

"What are your plans for tonight, Conan-kun?"

Conan grinned at Ayumi, opening his mouth to respond, when an enthusiastic voice from behind interrupted him. "Co-chan!"

He'd barely had time to turn to face the owner of the voice when he was scooped up in long arms and hugged to a familiar chest.

"How was school, Conan-chan?" Kudou Yukiko beamed at him.

"Who's the basan, Conan?" Genta asked, pointing at the grinning woman as she set down a blushing Conan. The woman's grin quickly vanished, however, as she crouched down to the larger boy's eye-level to say, with practiced and totally superficial calm,

"That's neechan to you, _darling_." A nerve relaxing slightly in her forehead when Genta nodded, she pulled Conan into another hug. "only my precious little Co-chan has permission to call me obachan!"

"Um, obachan, what are you-?"

"Oh, you don't know? No, of course you don't, I wanted to surprise you! I just realized that I hadn't seen my little Conan-chan ONCE this week! Anyway, I called Kaito-kun this morning to tell him if I didn't get to spend some quality time with you ASAP I was going to burst! And so, here I am! You're happy to see me, aren't you?"

As Conan nodded weakly, her pout turned into an ecstatic smile, and she reached forward to pull him in for another hug.

"Oh, excuse me, are you picking up Conan-kun today?"

Yukiko looked up to smile at Kobayashi-sensei, who was standing nearby with a clipboard.

"I am, yes. I'm Kudou Yukiko, and I'm a close family friend of Conan-kun's," she responded evenly.

"Well then, if you wouldn't mind, could I speak with you a moment about Conan-kun?"

After shooting Conan a quick glance and patting him gently on the head, Yukiko nodded and followed after her.

"Uh-oh, looks like you're in trouble, now, Conan."

"Oh, shush," Conan grumbled, not making eye contact with the larger boy.

"But she looks really familiar, that lady. I wonder where I've seen her before," Mitsuhiko wondered.

"I know!" Ayumi piped up, her eyes widening instantly in wonder. "She's that movie star! I saw her in this one video my parents made me watch. No wonder she's so pretty!"

Conan felt somewhat embarrassed as they continued to rant about her. "Yeah, but that doesn't stop her from being annoying," he mumbled.

"Huh?"

"Oh, nothing!' He said quickly, grinning at his friends' confused faces. "Anyway, she's Shinichi-niichan's mom. She's pretty nice," he said. "She just gets a little too enthusiastic about shopping, that's all!"

The others were about to respond when they were interrupted by said actress's return. "Shall we go, Conan-chan?" He nodded and she smiled at the other kids as she took his hand in hers. "You guys are Conan-chan's friends, then? Well, maybe we'll have you over sometime!" She smiled at them.

Gasping as if suddenly remembering something, Genta said, "But wait, don't you live in a huge haunted house?"

The others' eyes widened, and Conan narrowed his eyes. "Don't be ridiculous, you guys. The Kudous' house isn't haunted!"

Yukiko laughed. "How about this? When we have you over, you guys can see for yourselves!"

They nodded mutely and she continued, "But anyway, nice meeting you! I'll be taking Conan-chan now!"

"Conan-kun! Come play with us this weekend!"

"Sure, just call me!" Conan yelled back, waving.

After they had rounded the corner, Yukiko commenced with a fast-paced and enthusiastic inquiry into his friends, classes and week, explaining that Yuusaku was still away at the conference he'd been busy with since they'd last seen each other... But then, her voice turning a little more serious, she said, "Your teacher tells me you haven't been getting enough sleep, Conan-chan. Is everything okay?"

Conan nodded. "Yeah, it isn't anything really…don't worry about it!"

She frowned at him and shook her head. When she spoke again, her voice was more serious than he'd practically ever heard it. "If you don't want anyone else to know, I won't tell them, Conan-chan. But I wish you'd tell me what was bothering you…" She crouched and eyed him intently. He gulped, and moved his eyes to look at the ground.

After considering for a minute whether to talk to her about it, he finally decided to trust her. After all, if anyone could understand what was bothering his niichan, it was Shinichi-niichan's mother.

With a sigh, he admitted quietly, "I'm…worried about niichan. He's…he really misses Shinichi-niichan, and I just," he sighed again. "I don't know how to make it better for him."

She hadn't said anything yet and he lifted his face to look up at her. "I know this must be just as hard for you, obachan, and I probably shouldn't bother you with it, but…is there anything we can do to make him feel better? I feel so useless."

Yukiko just watched him silently for a while, gently running a hand through his hair. "Conan-chan," she said softly, "Just having you there makes more of a difference than you can imagine for Kaito-kun. I can promise you that."

Smiling into his eyes, she continued, "And to a certain point, there's not much we can do but believe in Shin-chan, and his incredible, powerful will to find us again. I'm positive he will. I can feel that he's close to finding us already." Conan widened his eyes at her a little at this, but she seemed unwilling to press that point further.

"But of course that doesn't mean that it's easy, having to wait. Even when you believe something so strongly, until it's firmly back in your grasp, it's really difficult. That's what Kaito-kun's dealing with right now, Co-chan, and there just isn't much we can do about that."

He slumped a little at this, and she chuckled, somewhat sadly. "But sweetie, I'll try to talk to him, alright? I'll see if there isn't something I can do…"

Conan beamed at her at this, and he felt as if some of the oppressive weight that had been piling on his chest recently lifted. "Thank you, obachan!" But when he looked up her, his eyes widened. For an instant, he felt her gaze fixing on him in a familiar way. In a way much like how he had caught Kaito looking at him…

But in an instant, it was gone, and she swept him up enthusiastically to bring him through the door of the Kudou mansion and into the living room, planting him on a couch before racing from room to room, returning with armfuls of toys, games and cookies.

"These are some of Shin-chan's old things!" She announced happily, indicating the non-edible piles, and Conan began to piece through the mountain of items-from video games to stuffed animals.

As he did, he would occasionally stop at one or the other, feeling a vague sense of déjà vu. At Yukiko's inquiring glance, Conan shrugged and said, "This just feels kind of familiar. Maybe I had it when I was little or something?" He watched her closely for any sign that would confirm or deny these feelings, but she simply nodded in interest and enthusiasm.

"Oh, really, sweetie? Do you remember anything about playing with them?"

But these questions would usually lead to dead-ends.

Conan eventually found himself drawn to the photo albums most of all, however. He'd seen Shinichi's pictures before, and so did not feel the shock he had initially felt upon seeing their remarkable similarities, but as he continued to page through the albums, he raised his eyebrows and looked up at Yukiko, who was watching him, he couldn't help but feel, like a hawk.

Many questions were weighing on his mind, but he decided to start with one that was piquing his curiosity at the moment. "Why aren't there any pictures of Shinichi-niichan as a kid?"

Her eyes widened momentarily at the observation, but she quickly seemed to smooth her frazzled nerves, and when she responded, she was smiling easily.

"Well, good question! You know, I believe we have most of Shin-chan's young pictures in our house in America."

Conan watched her somewhat suspiciously for another minute before shrugging and continuing to page through the albums. He then stopped at one particular group of photos.

"Conan-chan?"

He frowned. "I feel like I've…seen this," he said softly.

"Really?" Her voice was instantly enthusiastic. "That was our family trip to Hawaii when Shin-chan was in middle school! Do you...I mean, does that or-Hawaii, at least-ring a bell?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe I just remember something similar. I can't think of anything specific really, but…all I know is this picture just feels kind of familiar, like I've seen it before. I can't remember where, though…"

He began to feel uncomfortable under Yukiko's expectant gaze after a while, however, and looking at the photos for too long had begun to give him a headache, so he closed the book and asked Yukiko if he could look in the library for a little bit.

She smiled and nodded, but there was a flash, for the briefest moment, of disappointment-something that did not go unnoticed by the young detective.

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

Conan wasn't sure what all Yukiko had said to Kaito when she dropped him off later that day, but whatever it was, the magician had definitely seemed to be in better spirits… and Conan, in turn, had begun to sleep more regularly again.

That wasn't to say his curious dreams had stopped. On the contrary, they were actually becoming more of a presence in his mind, were continuing to tug more and more at his psyche, and each night, the images seemed to be just a little clearer than before. But each time, no matter how close and clear he would feel to truly keeping the images in his waking consciousness, he would wake to feel them slipping away like melted butter, leaving him with little more than a vague impression of images, faces, voices…nothing he could pin to anything specific. It was frustrating to say the least.

But as far as Conan could tell, his niichan had, for the time being at least, stopped religiously staring at that picture in his room. In place, he had begun to dedicate himself to planning complicated pranks he would explain excitedly to Conan, always remembering to lecture him about ensuring he planned his own pranks carefully and with proper targets in mind…and a variety of other odd projects-most magic-related, though he had converted a section of his room over to a haphazard carpenter's studio which he put to wider use.

After making sure Conan was happily situated, stretched out on the living room couch, reading with a cup of tea beside him, Kaito had raced off in rare form to work on one of these projects. Conan was just reaching the climax of the showdown with Night Baron when the phone rang.

"Niichan, the phone!" No answer. "Niichan?" When there continued to be no response, save the cuckoo clock on the wall going about its usual, even ticking and the phone's continued rings, Conan sighed and set the book down, hopped up from the couch and hesitantly reached up and took the phone receiver in his hand.

"Moshi moshi? Kuroba residence…"

"Kai-chan?" An unfamiliar, energetic woman's voice sounded.

Conan blinked. "Um…" And then realization dawned on him. "Oh, you mean Kaito-niichan?"

There was a startled little gasp and the voice instantly picked up in excitement, though the volume toned down a bit. "Oh! You must be Conan-chan I've heard so much about! With the time difference and all, you're always in bed by the time I call! It's so wonderful to finally hear your voice!"

"Oh! Are you… Kaito-niichan's mom?"

"That's right, dear. I'm Kuroba Chikage. But obachan to you, got it?"

"Oh, sure, Chikage-obachan. It's nice to speak with you, too. Niichan said you're in Los Angeles?"

"That's right, sweetie, but I'm wondering if I shouldn't fly back, to heck with work! When Kai-chan told me he'd taken in a little brother, I didn't know what to think! That boy can barely remember to brush his teeth some nights! And do you know, Conan-chan, that only a few years ago, he would still come running into my room in the middle of the night? Practically any shadow with a sloping appearance he'd convince himself was some kind of fish out to get him!" She chuckled and Conan joined in, albeit a little guiltily.

"That isn't too hard to imagine," he started, smiling, but then frowned a little and said, more definitely, "but obachan, Kaito-niichan's been taking really good care of me, and I think he brushes his teeth every night…he's the one reminding me to do stuff like that!" _Not like I need him to_, he added to himself.

"Is that so?" Her voice was still laced with humor, but her tone was a bit softer. "He's grown up, then…" She made a happy, wistful little sigh. "Sounds to me like you've been a wonderful influence on my son, Conan-chan, but you be sure and tell me if he starts acting up!"

"Okay, obachan, I'll be sure, and—"

"CO-CHAN! Look at this! What do you think? I thought we could try it out with the doves!" Kaito entered the room in grand manner, holding some bird-house-looking contraption with little switches, balls, tight-ropes and glittery mechanisms hanging from every inch of it. "It's an obstacle course for training them!" He explained happily. Then he blinked. "Oh, someone on the phone, Co-chan?"

"Yeah, actually, it's—"

"KAI-CHAN! WHAT ARE YOU GETTING UP TO, NOW?" The voice screeched from the mouthpiece, and Conan pulled back just in time to avoid getting an earful.

Gulping and looking for a moment as if he might just bolt and leave his brother to deal with the banshee on the other line, Kaito then seemed to think better of it. Carefully setting down the odd contraption he'd built and inching over to Conan, he picked up the phone with two fingers as if it were coated with something unpleasant, eying it nervously from a distance.

"Um, Kaachan? Didn't expect you to call right now…"

"What, am I not allowed to check on my only son?"

He grinned at the obvious pout in her voice. "No, no, I just didn't…meh, but isn't it like 5am there?"

"Well, I actually wanted to tell you, Kai-chan, there's a TV special coming on in a few minutes on the legacy of Kaitou KID up to now! I just had to see it!"

"Really?" His voice raised suddenly to a level of hyperness he usually saved for geometry class pranks. "How did I miss that?"

"Well, seems it's only on in the US, sweetie, but I'm interested to see what they have to say and just how inaccurate they are, and…"

"Don't call in to correct them, Kaachan, PLEASE."

"Oh, I would never!" She said innocently, and Kaito rolled his eyes. "But before you ask, YES, I have plenty of rolls of blank tape, and I'll be on the look-out for any cute shots to add to our home videos!"

"Kaachan, could you PLEASE…" and then Kaito stopped dead when he met blue eyes below, narrowed in curiosity, suspicion and concentration.

"Um, anyway, Kaachan, don't be so silly about your obsession with that thief. You know I admire him, too, and all, but…" He wrenched his poker-face on, bending down to grin at Conan, and motioning to the phone, whispered covertly "She's a HUGE fangirl underneath it all." Seeing Conan's suspicions waver somewhat, Kaito felt the nervous knot which had formed in his chest relax a bit.

Chikage, having caught on, then said, "Oh fine, fine, but Kaito? I'm not sure when KID is planning another show, but you are not allowed to go unless you've finished all of your homework!"

"Even if I promise to try to get you an autograph?" He grinned, playing out the Kaitou KID's biggest-fan cover story.

"Oooh, that's a good point, but Conan-chan shouldn't be out that late anyway, should he? You guys just might have to watch from home for once."

He frowned a little at this. _She has a point, actually. Everything's already planned for the next one. I've even written the heist notice! All that's left is sending it out, but with Co-chan here…I'm definitely not leaving him while I go out gallivanting, no matter how important my mission is, I_…Unconsciously, he'd pulled Conan to him and had started moving his hands through his hair.

_Maybe I could ask Ran-chan to watch him? I'm sure she wouldn't mind; she really likes Co-chan, after all… or the Kudous? Can't see them refusing. Yukiko-obasan'll probably come kidnap him regardless. She'd keep him safely with her and away from the night stage alright…_At that, his breath hitched as memories of the thrilling chase, the challenge only one person could give him invaded and enveloped him. Another reminder of what couldn't be. Not right now, at least…

"Yoo-hoo, Kai-chan! Where did you go?"

"Oh! Sorry, Kaachan, just thinking about that autograph, hehe…"

"Is that so? Well, make sure you say hi to KID for me! Ooh, the show's starting! Bye, dear! Give my love to Conan-chan!" And then the line cut.

When he got off the phone, Conan was looking at him in a way which made him gulp. Little arms crossed, he was staring at him…staring through him, more like, but then his expression turned to something more like a smirk, with enthusiasm barely buried underneath.

"Ne, Kaito-niichan, what can you tell me about Kaitou Kid?"

Kaito blanched slightly. "T-tell you, Co-chan? What do you mean? Why are you so interested?"

Conan shrugged. "Well…" and he shifted somewhat uncomfortably… "He's a thief, and…I mean, I know thieves are bad, but…"

Kaito's chest caught. Even though he didn't want Conan to know, there was still something just inherently wrong about the boy thinking badly about his alter-ego. Then the last word the boy said hit Kaito, and he found himself looking up in vague incredulity. He hung on Conan's word choice with an embarrassing bit of secret hope, a buried part of him pleading for the boy's acceptance of this secret, were it ever to come out…all hinging on that word: 'but.'

"But?" Kaito prodded in nervous anticipation.

Conan shrugged and smiled in a way which clashed greatly with his innocent child image, and yet once again, it didn't look wrong on his face. It was a confident, intrigued, and somewhat…competitive? …smirk…and Conan then responded. "He sounds interesting. I'd like to meet him."

"You-you would?" Kaito sputtered a little, staring at his little brother as if he'd grown horns.

"Yeah. I'd like to see if he's really as good at escaping as all that. As people say he is. It's not like it's dangerous. Ayumi-chan said he even saves people sometimes! Could you take me along, Kaito-niichan, when you go to one of his heists? I know obachan said I should be in bed, but…" He frowned, knitting his eyebrows, and Kaito laughed out loud in a kind of deep, resounding relief.

"I still don't think you belong at a heist, Co-chan," he said softly, running his thumb over Conan's face which was quickly filling with disappointment. "I'm sorry, but even if KID wouldn't hurt you, there are bad people who circle around him. That's part of what he does, you know, and you said it yourself. He draws attention to bigger, more serious crimes through his less serious ones…and he draws the police in that way."

'I know, but…" Conan looked thoughtful, frowning. "That's really dangerous…why would he do that?" He fixed Kaito with his penetrating stare, and Kaito's breath hitched.

"I'm…sure he has his reasons…but anyway, Co-chan, let's get off of this subject, okay? I could try to get his autograph for you when I get Kaachan's! How would that be?"

Conan frowned again. "I don't want his autograph. I don't think he's that great or anything…I'm just…" And he paused, unable to express exactly what it was he felt. For some reason, though, he just really, really wanted to meet him, to question him, to chase him, to test himself against him. How much Kaito and his mom's approval of the guy had to do with it, he wasn't sure, but…anyway, he felt the desire hitching in him, as if it had hooked to something inside of him, just waiting to draw him in…

"Well, maybe sometime, Co-chan," Kaito smiled at him, feeling a happy little flutter in his heart as Conan's determined stare drove into him.

The atmosphere was abruptly interrupted by a flap of wings and a soft splattering noise. Kaito turned, blinking, as Conan began to break out in giggles.

"Co-chan, wha-?" And then his eyes widened and he raced, flapping his arms wildly, towards the dove perching on the odd contraption he'd brought in earlier. "Sekka, that isn't a bathroom! You silly dove, you-!"

"Guess he doesn't like it too much, niichan," Conan laughed, only grinning more widely at Kaito's shocked pout.

"He's just acting, Co-chan. He's clearly impressed by my handiwork…"

The two continued to banter for a little while until Kaito decided to snatch Conan from the ground, racing him around the house and herding the doves together to try out his invention. Conan laughed, relaxing in Kaito's grip, feeling somewhat weightless as Kaito's carefree mood washed over him…at the same time, he felt a sudden, powerful awareness of just how much he loved their relationship. Of how much he valued and depended on it…

_Whatever happens, niichan, I hope we never lose this…_ With a happy smile, Conan reached his arms around Kaito's neck and nuzzled in, smiling more widely as Kaito instantly responded, hugging him back.

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

_Hot sunlight beat down on the back of his neck, already baked pink and dry from what seemed like hours of anticipation of his own private lesson. The wind soothed his nerves a little, and he thought, vaguely, that he was glad his mother wasn't in the driver's seat this morning. His already butterfly-filled stomach just may not have been able to take it._

_The man beside him slowed and stopped the boat, and then smiled down at him, motioning to the wheel. Conan smirked in an effort to hide the excited, ecstatic grin trying desperately to stretch out over his lips, and nimbly switched seats with the taller man._

"_Remember, mind the waves and make sure to cut across them at a 45 degree angle," the man coached._

_Conan nodded, smirking to himself, and, one hand firmly on the wheel, pulled on the throttle. Wind instantly overtook them as waves rose up on either side of them. The thrill of the moment, of the freedom he felt as they sped along, of how he could feel the boat under him trying to wrestle its way free from his command only to be thwarted by the assured control he assaulted it with, and the firm but warm grasp on his shoulder only made him smile more widely, his endorphins taking off as he melted into the rhythm of the ocean and his ride._

_After circling the little bay, he stopped the boat back in the dock. Grinning up at the older man, he was met with a warm smile in return, and eyes flashing in amusement and pride._

"_Not bad for a first run. Well done, Shi-"_

Conan shot up in bed, eyes wide. It was the same dream, once again. The same dream he'd been having, off-and-on, for a week now, sometimes even popping up in naps as it had done the other day at school. Normally, upon waking, he'd only be left with vague images, impressions and feelings, with locations and faces staying fuzzy and indecipherable. That, of course, extended to the man beside him in the dream-boat.

He'd seen him, this tall man, a number of times in his dreams-a recurring character familiar to him not just from this particular dream. Even though he couldn't see his face, Conan had come to recognize him by the strong and unique feeling he gave off every time he appeared, whether sitting beside him in that boat or watching him from across a table as Conan blew out candles on a birthday cake…

But this time was different. This time, he woke up with man's face still very clear in his mind's eye-in his memory. And as his identity swirled in Conan's mind's eye, so many questions were surging through him, now, with this new information (if it could rightly be called information), resting greatly, of course, on the accuracy of these visions. Also, of course, on the question of whether they were, in fact, visions, or memories, rather than meaningless fantasies, changed by some unconscious self-insertion of a familiar face onto this mystery figure…

But that face wouldn't leave him alone, and the tangled masses running through his mind first screamed the most blatant and obvious question…

Just what, really, _was _his relationship to Kudou Yuusaku?

…because the feeling, the gut instinct which had settled in him was too confusing, made too little sense. And it unnerved him by how natural and right it felt to assume it…

_But the Kudous' only son is Shinichi-niichan, right?_

Conan turned and buried his head deep into his pillow, twisting around, trying to press out the insanity trying to work its way through his mind. He shook his head, eyes squinted, and pulled the covers more closely around him. It occurred to him to creep into Kaito's room to try to get some sleep in his niichan's comforting, distracting company, but the lingering dream images…and what they suggested…prodded him to push away this urge. Shivering a little in anxiety, he burrowed more deeply into his warm bed and imagined himself back in Kaito's warm lap, listening to Holmes from his lips, until sleep finally took him again.

* * *

><p>Thanks for reading! I know...cliffy! My ideas are circulating for the next-just need to gather them coherently ;) Hopefully it won't take too long. Again, your feedback is so INCREDIBLY appreciated! Please keep me updated with your thoughtsfeelings/ideas!

Thanks so much!

tess4aria


	9. Chapter 9

**Recovering the Self**

**Chapter 9: Owning up to the Truth**

I'm sure I've worried a lot of people, but this story is not dead. I'm really sorry, but this has been the worst semester and I just haven't had any time to write. But, here is a new chapter to hold you over for a bit! I hope you enjoy it! It brings up new issues, but finally resolves others.

Please review! Your comments are always so humbling and inspiring! Thanks so much for them!

I do not own Meitantei Conan

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

The evidence was boiling right beneath the surface, and Conan knew he had to solve this mystery, and soon. There was nothing else he could do, as a detective. Even if he wasn't sure what he would do with his findings, he had to piece together the different hanging threads pertaining to his life, as terrifying as they were.

It was with this conviction that he found himself running to the Kudous' mansion, pounding on the door almost desperately, caught in a determined haze. He had to see. He had to take a look at something-to confirm something.

No one appeared to be home, but quickly losing patience, Conan decided to take a leaf out of Kaito's book. Taking a bobby pin out, he unlocked the front door, a little less expertly than Kaito would have, but effectively, nonetheless.

Shutting the door behind him, he tore off into the living room in search of the photo album he'd been looking at with Yukiko-obachan. _Great. It's not here. I guess I should have expected that…_

Not to be foiled so easily, however, he went to climb the staircase and eventually found his way to the master bedroom. He bit his lip, feeling somewhat guilty about his plan to snoop around the private room, but felt an unquenchable need to find out the truth. Besides, if he were right, it wouldn't be considered breaking and entering, anyway. And they had told him to consider this place as his own, after all.

Gulping once, he pushed open the door slowly, and took in the large bed in the center of an even larger room, noting plenty of touches which Yukiko was clearly responsible for. On the bedside table, there was a picture of Yukiko, Yuusaku and Shinichi, and Conan found himself examining the teenager (who appeared to be around 15 in this picture) more carefully than usual. If it weren't for the absurdity of it all considering the age difference, he would scoff at himself for not having been suspicious of this all along.

For sure, Kaito looked like Shinichi, but it was nothing compared to how the young detective resembled him, Conan. Shinichi seemed to be much less excitable than Kaito (though that wasn't difficult to imagine) and was rolling his eyes slightly in this particular picture, clearly not incredibly pleased with how Yukiko was hanging off of him. Yuusaku had one hand on his shoulder, watching the other two with amusement.

Conan stared at the three for a time, and was struck, though it didn't surprise him as much as he thought it might, that the way the elder Kudous were eying Shinichi didn't seem all that different from how they interacted with him.

Tearing his gaze away, Conan began to open and sift through drawers, finding mostly clothing, before making his way to the room's large closet. In a floral-printed box, he found what he'd been looking for. His eyes shook slightly as he picked up the large book, settled with it on the floor, and began to open it, piecing through it, bit by bit. Again, the same pictures of Shinichi, many of them with his parents, Ran or Kaito, flashed by, and he was surprised to note that several pictures seemed to have been added. Or…replaced. Rearranged, perhaps.

A picture of two young boys, one's face obscured partly by the messy-haired boy to his left who was hanging off of him and laughing as he somehow managed not to spill his chocolate ice-cream cone. Conan stared as he recognized this messy-haired child. He had caught a glimpse of this same boy that day in the ice-cream shop as he'd zoned off staring at Kaito. Looking more closely, it hit him. The child _was _Kaito. How could he have missed that? Heart pounding, he turned to the next page and saw another picture which had clearly been recently replaced.

It looked to have been taken the same day, but this time, both boys were facing the camera, arms looped around each others' shoulders, as they continued to enjoy their ice cream cones.

Even though he had been trying to mentally prepare himself for this, Conan couldn't help but let out a gasp. The child beside Kaito, smirking slightly and holding a strawberry cone, was…him. There was really no doubt seeing Shinichi at this age. Conan could find no discernible difference between his own features and the pictured child. He turned around to stare in the bedroom's full-sized mirror and confirmed this. But he wasn't done. Not until he had conclusive evidence. So he pushed his discoveries aside to wait until he had found the clencher.

And then, there it was. A photograph to prove that his dreams were not just dreams. It was the picture Yukiko had told him was of Shinichi's trip with his father to Hawaii. Shinichi looked to be about 14 and was looking very smug as he turned around to grin at the camera from his seat at the wheel of a motorboat. To his right, smiling proudly, and even wearing the shirt Conan remembered from the dream, was Kudou Yuusaku.

Dropping the book, Conan scrambled backwards into the corner of the room, barely remembering to breathe. He just stared in shock at the photo album completely unaware how it had just shattered his world with revelations.

He didn't know how it was possible. He was 7 years old, for Gods sakes! But…what was it Kaito had said? What was it that resounded within him so strongly? _Shinjitsu wa itsumo hitotsu?_ For despite the insanity of this conclusion, it was the conclusion that all evidence seemed to point to.

He had appeared, without his memory, apparently within the same hour Shinichi had vanished without a trace. And hadn't he found his way to the Kudou mansion, come to think of it? It had never occurred to him before, but now…it made sense that even without his memories, his legs would carry him, simply by the force of habit and muscle-memory, to wherever he considered home…

His mind was whirling. How could he have not seen it sooner? And he was supposed to be this great detective, he thought bitterly. Kaito had been worried, panicked…for so long. And yet, all along, he'd been right beside him. Kaito needn't have suffered, and it was all his fault for not picking up on the obvious signs earlier!

Oh God. Kaito. What would he do about him? Despite his revelations, he couldn't remember more than a few random scenes from his life as Shinichi. He had no idea how to be him. And he had no clue how to act around Kaito. He had felt so happy, so carefree, so content, living with him as Conan. As his little brother. He didn't know anything else. He didn't think he could be anyone else. And yet, even though he knew Kaito cared for Conan, that didn't change that fact that the young man he'd come to see as his beloved niichan missed Shinichi terribly.

He missed his…boyfriend. And Conan had stolen him away. And had no idea how to return him.

Pushing himself to his feet, he picked up the photo album and returned it to its spot in the closet, closing the door. He couldn't let anyone know he'd been here. Couldn't let anyone suspect that he knew the truth. If so, they'd expect him to suddenly be Shinichi again, wouldn't they?

But he couldn't. How was he to be Shinichi when he couldn't remember the last thing about him?

He quietly tiptoed down the stairs and with a sigh of relief at noticing that no one had returned home yet, he left the house, shutting (and locking) the front door behind him.

He scowled slightly up at the large house. It was his. It was apparently the house he had grown up in, and yet, he felt nothing for it. Sure, he thought the library was great. But he really didn't feel any true connection to the place. He wondered, as he walked down the sidewalk, if he'd ever truly been happy there?

He knew where he had been happy. At Kaito's. With Kaito, as his brother. But he no longer felt as if he deserved that title. It was a farce, after all. He wasn't really Conan. He was Shinichi, and the longer he played dumb, the longer Kaito could suffer.

But he couldn't deal with the other option. He couldn't deal with everyone expecting him to be the oh-so-great Shinichi. He just wasn't him, anymore. Not until he remembered more.

Conan's thoughts were interrupted by a yell which sounded at once frantic, relieved, and angry. He looked up to be swept up into Kaito's arms.

"Why did you leave like that, Conan?"

Conan stared at Kaito's uncharacteristically serious and panicked face, and felt guilt clench his chest at the realization that the color that had returned to his 'niichan's' face after his discussion with Yukiko seemed to have reverted once again. It looked like he'd been racing around frantically for a while.

"Uh…I…"

"How could you do that? Without even leaving a note? Do you know how worried I was, Co-chan?"

"I…I'm sorry, I just…"

"I guess I should have checked here first, but I thought you knew the Kudous would be out of town for a few days again!"

Oh. Right. That's why they weren't there. In his impulsively determined state of mind after that dream the night before, Conan had spared a thought for nothing but finding answers. So he hadn't remembered that the Kudous would be away (which was, however, helpful for his particular designs this morning. But he hadn't thought to let Kaito know, either, which he felt really bad about.

"I'm so sorry, Kaito-niichan. I wasn't thinking, I-"

Kaito sighed but his expression softened at Conan's contrite expression. He gently ruffled his hair. "It's alright. But please try not to run off like that on me again. At least not without leaving me a note, okay? Remember that night of the murder case?"

Conan nodded.

"Yeah well, even if we're not in a closed area with a murderer, Tokyo is full of crime and nefarious people so…just, please, try not to drive me to an early grave, okay?"

He chuckled slightly, but it wasn't a particularly happy sound. Gulping, Conan hugged Kaito around the neck tightly, and unable to stop them, tears sprung up in his eyes. He was frustrated with himself for being so weak. After all, he was supposed to be like…what? 16? 17? But it was too much. He didn't want to think about his discoveries about his identity. All he wanted was more time. He wanted to hide away longer, like this, with Kaito.

"I promise, Kaito-niichan," he whispered, feeling comforted by the strong arms clutching him back tightly.

"Well. Now that that's over…" Kaito smiled at him slightly. "What about if we go to the park for a bit? Since it's such a pretty day, and we're out after all." He sent a slight glare at Conan at this, but the little boy just smiled apologetically in return.

"S-sure. That would be nice," he said softly.

Nodding, Kaito took Conan's hand and the two took off to the park.

It didn't pass Kaito by, however, how uncharacteristically quiet Conan was being.

Even once arriving at their destination, he noticed that the boy, rather than racing off to join the other kids in games of tag or soccer as he normally would have, seemed caught, as if caught in some internal struggle, between whether to play with them or stay and keep him company.

Kaito furrowed his brow, wondering if his scolding could be responsible, and decided to help Conan out.

"Co-chan?" He asked, crouching down beside him.

"Uh, yeah, Kai, uh, Kaito-niichan?" He stuttered, his face blushing inexplicably.

Kaito looked at him oddly for a moment before brushing it off. "Want to play one-on-one?" He asked, wincing at his altruistic suggestion, as he was not the best when it came to soccer…but at Conan's relieved, brightened expression, he felt it was worth it, and with a snap and a flurry of color, a small soccer ball materialized.

Taking the ball gratefully, Conan proceeded to clobber him in a game which quickly drew the awed stares of the other children playing in the park.

Slightly huffy at his continual losses, Kaito suggested they have a juggling competition, to which Conan rolled his eyes.

"Oh yeah. I just can't imagine who will win that!" Conan snarked.

"Oh? And what about that soccer game, chibi tantei-kun? Was that not just as clearly predictable?"

Conan laughed, relieved that things seemed to be pretty normal between them so far. Perhaps it wouldn't be so hard to continue being Conan after all.

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

Of course, this assumption would be put to the test sooner than he had imagined.

Things he had thought little of, with nothing but a passing discomfort before, seemed embarrassing and absurd now.

Such as bath time. Conan resolutely locked Kaito out of the bathroom while he did his ablutions that night, ignoring the older boy's pout.

It wasn't that he minded that nightly routine, exactly, but the confusing feelings it always awoke in him, now that he could put a name and a reason to them, absolutely horrified him. No, he would not take advantage of Kaito's innocence of who he really was. So it was necessary that he push him away in certain ways. He couldn't feel bad about it. He just desperately needed to buy time to sort things out.

That was the first night.

The next evening, when Kaito entered Conan's room for their nightly Holmes-reading, he found the boy already dressed for bed and settled down, engrossed in his book.

"Hey, you started without me?" Kaito said it lightly, but he couldn't deny the slight twinge of hurt he felt at seeing the boy appearing not to need him to perform the, perhaps unnecessary (considering the boy's reading skill) but undeniably soothing ritual they had begun.

Conan looked up at the book and said "Oh, well I know you don't really like Holmes, niichan, so…it's fine. I can read on my own."

"Oh, but I don't mind, rea-"

"It's fine. You need to get more sleep, niichan. I'll go to bed when I've finished my chapter."

Sparing him another smile, Conan then returned to the book.

Kaito stood there, watching him read, a dull ache in his chest, before nodding and muttering, "Well, alright then. Goodnight, Co-chan."

"Mm. Night."

Kaito closed the door, eyes narrowed slightly. Biting the inside of his cheek, he walked into his room, pacing around, trying to get this incessant itch out of his mind. For the first time in several days, he took out the picture of himself and Shinichi, taken on their one-month anniversary (after the day they had finally officially started dating, though Kaito had considered Shinichi his long before that), and stared at it as he collapsed back onto his bed.

"What should I do, Shinichi?" He whispered sadly, gazing wistfully in the direction of Conan's room.

"I miss you." He lightly touched the image of his boyfriend and sighed. Particularly after his mostly silent communication with the Kudous, he was almost certain that Conan was Shinichi, however he had come to be in this state…and, though it had been difficult, he had somewhat come to terms with it. With being patient, and waiting until Conan remembered him. Because in Shinichi's absence, he had Conan with him, and the boy had wormed his way into his heart so completely that he definitely made it easier to deal with.

But now, with the way Conan had suddenly closed off, the way he had begun to push him away, it brought up a new slough of worries along with bringing back his longing for his Shinichi more strongly than ever.

He could definitely attribute the changes in Conan to his regaining some adult memories, but what if he never fully remembered him? What if Conan grew up again, mentally at least, seeing him as Kaito-niichan, and not as Shinichi's Kaito? What if he had lost Shinichi by semi-adopting Conan? The thought was too horrifying to consider, and Kaito angrily stuffed the frame back in his chest and pushed through his father's portrait, plunging into planning his next heist.

It was the idea way to push his troubles away, to focus on the intricacies of his Kaitou Kid persona. With all thoughts set to casting aside any worries about Conan and Shinichi, he began to draw schematics and heist notices with a fervor rare even for him.

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

The following week passed in much the same manner, and each days seemed more painfully slow than the last and without any revelations to speak of.

For Conan, school had become both a nonsensical chore and an escape for him. He knew, now, why everything seemed so ridiculously easy. Of course the Junior-high school anthology seemed simple. He was in high school, after all! And not just any high schooler, but a well-known detective in his own right (not to mention the son of a famous actress and mystery writer). School work seemed pointless, and even his friends began to irk him at times, as he began to notice their childish behavior with a new perspective.

At the same time, at school, he could easily trick everyone into thinking he was fine, just by using the poker face Kaito had taught him. Not so at home.

It was painful, having this knowledge, and part of Conan wished he had never gone that day to the Kudous' house to piece together clues to his identity. It had been so much easier, before, to put strange feelings or inklings off to happenstance, but now, he could not help but watch Kaito's silent depression with a thick wad of guilt and responsibility lodged in his chest.

Their banter had dwindled, leaving them with long, awkward pauses during mealtimes, and Conan found himself excusing himself, more and more, to run up to his room to read, forcing himself to ignore the pained and hurt look in Kaito's eyes.

He knew he was being selfish, and he hated himself for it. But he couldn't get himself to stop hiding. He felt so vulnerable, knowing he should feel like Kudou Shinichi and yet knowing only how to be a child.

And so he was stuck in this awkward place in the middle.

Because, to be honest, though he pretended to be asleep when Kaito came in to check on him before bed, he would soon after feel the strongest pull to rush into Kaito's bedroom and crawl into bed with him, just as he had a week earlier, to get comfort for his nightmares. He wanted the comfort he had felt when he saw Kaito only as his brother. But he couldn't rightly any longer.

But the thought that due to his own insecurities and awkwardness, that he was losing his treasured relationship with Kaito filled him with fear.

It hit him that he needed someone to talk to. Keeping this secret closed up inside of him was eating him alive. With these thoughts swirling, he drifted off into a fitful night's sleep.

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

A slight reprieve from the unbearable awkwardness came when Conan was able to focus on an interesting tidbit of information he'd discovered from his friends at school to throw at Kaito.

"Niichan?"

"Yeah?" Kaito looked up, somewhat surprised, his bagel halfway in his mouth. It seemed like it had been forever since Conan had taken the initiative to ask him something during breakfast.

"I heard there's a Kaito Kid heist tonight," he said, grinning.

"Oh, yeah, that's right," Kaito smirked.

"Are you going to go? Can I come?"

Kaito nervously began to juggle oranges. "Hm. I actually have something to do, Co-chan, so…I fear you might have to sit this one out. I was actually planning on asking Yukiko-obachan to watch you tonight. Is that okay?"

Conan narrowed his eyes slightly. "What do you have to do?"

"Oh, you know. This and that. I have a huge project for class and then…I promised an old friend my parents I'd meet with him. I'm sure he'd love to meet you, but it just isn't the best timing…" He looked hesitantly at Conan, hoping he'd take his weak excuse.

But the boy nodded agreeably, surprisingly not asking anything else, though his eyes narrowed significantly for a moment.

"What about that autograph your mom wants?" He asked slyly/

"Oh, that," Kaito smirked, waving his hand flippantly. "Not to worry. The friend I'm visiting lives near an acquaintance who never misses a heist. I'll just pawn it off on him."

Conan nodded, but Kaito couldn't help but feel somewhat shaken by the boy's easy acceptance. The kid was planning something, he knew that much…

* * *

><p>oOo<p>

But he was unaware of just how determined Conan would be to follow through with this plan. Because the thought of going to the heist had made something very clear to the teenager-turned-child. His suspicions about Kaito and Kaitou Kid were part of it, but he just knew that the frustrating week of closed doors and dead-ends and no revelations would turn around if he were to go to the heist.

But to accomplish this…he looked up at the bubbly blond actress as she walked out of the bathroom, smiling as she sat down beside him on Shinichi, er, his bed, her arm around him. He knew perhaps he could try his luck at making it on his own, but if he could convince her.

But she wouldn't let a kid go, would she? But if she knew he realized the truth…

He looked up at her. She wasn't the first person he would have chosen as his confidant, but…she would have to do. After all, he was pretty certain she already knew who he was. Her behavior, and that of Kudou Yuusaku's, said that much.

Looking her in the eyes, he said, suddenly, "I'm going to the heist tonight. And I'd like you're help."

She blinked at him in slight surprise, but then just squeezed him around the shoulders and said, "Co-chan, you wouldn't want your niichan to worry, would you? We promised Kaito-kun to keep you here, sweetie. Maybe next time we'll all go together, alright?" She smiled at him sweetly.

He shook his head slowly.

"No. No, I don't think so. I think it needs to be this time."

"Huh? What are you saying, darling?"

"Because it might help. I have a feeling, you know, that it'll help." When she didn't respond, he looked up to meet her eyes, and she almost gasped. The strong, knowing determination in his eyes was so obvious, so blaring as he said, "It might help me feel more like…me."

Her eyes widened, and her heart began to pound. Struggling to keep her voice steady, she said, as nonchalantly as possible, "You think, sweetie? Why do you say that?"

Conan's eyes didn't stray from hers for an instant. Looking at her directly, aware of the weight of what he was admitting to, of what he was asking confirmation of even beyond the facts he had already accumulated, he said, voice quiet yet strong and clear, "He was my rival, wasn't he?"

Yukiko couldn't move for several seconds, just staring down at the little boy who looked so much like, who _was…_who was her son. And now, it seemed, even he had…

"You…you remember?" She squeaked, eyes wide in questioning.

Slowly, Conan shook his head, but answered, "I don't remember, but…it's the only explanation I can figure from everything. Bits of memories, photographs, the way I am, the way you treat me, just…" and he once again looked her in the eye, pleading with her to answer him truthfully. "I am, aren't I? I'm your son, aren't I?"

Yukiko dropped to her knees before him, gazing at him in a painful kind of awe, and then, slowly, nodded almost imperceptibly. A single tear trekking down her cheek, she leaned over and pulled him to her chest, wrapping her arms snugly around his little body. "You are," she whispered. Holding him tightly, desperately with one arm, she let the other hand move through his hair, and said, voice soft, "You're exactly right and…it's going to be okay. Everything will be back to normal soon, Shin-chan."

Conan flinched a little, and Yukiko pulled back and looked at him in slight surprise. He shook his head, and smiled apologetically. "Sorry," he muttered. "Could you not…call me that? Yet, at least? I…I really don't remember being him, and that name just…" he frowned and his eyes begged her to understand. "It feels like it belongs to someone else, oba-um..k-kaachan…"

Yukiko's heart cried out as she heard him use that word, to hear him refer to her, once again, as his mom…it made everything else seem so trivial. He was her son, and he knew it, now. At the moment, that was all that mattered to her.

She then considered his request and felt a little twinge-of hurt and perhaps irrational (or not so irrational)- loss. She wanted, so desperately, for him to be her Shinichi again, but…and she smiled, again running her fingers gently, lovingly through his hair…she had Co-chan. And that was good enough. More than…

"I-I understand, Co-chan," she whispered, and when he smiled at her, she pulled him in again, kissing him lightly on the cheek.

When she finally released him, he grinned somewhat sneakily. "So, will you let me go to the heist, now?"

Hands on her hips, Yukiko glared slightly at him, leaning in, "Hold on, mister. You didn't come out to me just to get me to let you go to the heist, now did you?"

Conan grinned, but shook his head, his smile turning more genuine. "No." At her dubious expression, he said, "Well, maybe partly. But," he then said more softly, "I do feet that it's about time. About time I talk to someone about it, to really get some answers, and to be more honest about my own suspicions…but…" and his grin turned slightly mischievous again. "You'll let me go, right, Kaachan?"

She frowned a little. "Look, Co-chan, I know you're curious, but you're still a little boy right now, and I st-" at his frown, she softened. "Well, I'm coming, too, then, okay? You're not leaving my sight!"

"But kaasan…" Conan whined, meeting her grin…His face then stiffened.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"It's about…niichan," he said softly.

She watched him in slight concern, mouthing the word 'niichan' after he did, the gist of what exactly was wrong coming to her somewhat.

"It's just…" He bit his lip, fidgeting a little before looking up to meet Yukiko's eyes. "I really can't remember him…that way, that is. I've been trying, kaachan…I really have…to see him that way, to remember what it used to be like, but I just…" He put his hand to his head and shook it. "But all it does when I try to pretend he's not my brother is pull us apart. Even though I know I should, I don't see him _that way, so if I don't see him as my niichan, then…"_

He shook a little, but then his lip set more firmly and his eyes blazed up at her. "I love him too much, kaachan. I can't break our relationship…it's just…it's everything to me. He is. But I can't see him any way other than as my brother! I must be a horrible person…"

"No! Shi-Co-chan, you're not! You're just in a terrible situation, but you're doing your very best! I'm… very proud of you," she whispered the last as she hugged him gently.

Not quite responding to her words, Conan said, looking up at her pleadingly, "I'm sorry. I know you miss Shinichi-nii…uh, Shinichi, but…I can't be him yet. I can't be him for you, and I can't be him for Kaito-niichan…right now, all I can do is try to remember and hold on to niichan…as my brother…even if it's wrong, that's all I can do…and besides," he added quietly.

"Yes?" Yukiko gently rubbed her hand through his hair.

"I know he's been pretending, too. I know he knows more than he lets on, but it will probably be easier for him to keep pretending if he thinks I don't know…If he realizes the truth, it just…I can't bear to watch him suffer. I can't bear it!"

"Co-chan…" Yukiko sobbed almost-silently, pulling him closer. She then asked a question which had been bothering her for the last few minutes. "What about me? Isn't it weird, then, calling me kaachan?"

To her surprise, Conan relaxed a little at this, and smiled up at her, shaking his head. "With you, it doesn't feel wrong. I think because I felt like you and oji…uh, otousan…were family from the beginning…and I'd never met anyone that could be my mother, so…" He shrugged. "So, well, it isn't a big stretch. It doesn't cause any weird feelings or anything. But still…my memories are all splotchy. All I have are feelings, and most of them are so confused, I…"

And then he lifted urgent, pleading eyes to hers. "Please, okaasan, don't let Kaito-niichan know, okay?"

She nodded, biting her lip.

He then looked up at her, his face brightening with a smug, mischievous glint in his eye.

"So…about that heist…"

* * *

><p>What did you think? So, there is the long-awaited ninth chapter! Hope you enjoyed it! Please let me know!<p>

Till next time,

tess4aria


End file.
